Series: 05 - November 2021

Posts from November 2021

This diary entry is part 11 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  LIly!

I don’t know what happened the past couple of days.  I really don’t.  I was just humming along, looking forward to going to Disney World, and bam.  One song and everything falls apart.  I wasn’t expecting that, either.  It’s just like everything hit at once and I had nothing to do but to ride it out.

I didn’t mention what I spent the rest of the day doing, yesterday.  I think I spent it grieving.  I don’t know if that’s the right word, but I think it fits.  I cried, and I laughed, and I thought about all of the things my “real” parents and I might do.  Liz came over a little later, she actually reads my site too!  I wonder about this site – I share so much about myself, but people seem to love it!  They… they seem to love me.  What did I do to deserve it?  Is that karma?  Did I gain a family and friends that love me, at the cost of everything I previously was?  Was that worth the price?

That’s a real question.  The answer might even be yes.

Anyway, Liz and I talked.  We talked, and we talked.  She really does care.  She doesn’t know what to say or do half the time, and she has her own demons, but she hugged me and we talked some more, and I started to feel a lot better towards the end of the night.  I don’t know who I was.  I don’t know who my “real” parents are, I don’t know if I had friends, I don’t know even how I got that little scar on the webbing between my right pinky and ring finger.  But I do know who my family is now, and who my friends are now, and…  and it doesn’t take away the fact that I love them, I love all of them, and they love me.

Maybe I’ll grieve again someday.  I told Liz that Disney World might be difficult for me in some ways, to watch all of the children running around having fun with their parents.  She told me she understood.  That maybe I can’t have it back, but I can make new memories, and she wants to make them with me.  And so do her parents.  That’s enough.  That’s plenty.

And I have all of my Internet friends, too.  The people who read this, and laugh with me, and cry with me, and log in the next day and the day after to see what else went on in my life, with my story, and that’s good too.  Friends all over the world who love me as well.  Who else can say that?  And all I have to do is be me.  So many other personalities, on YouTube, on TikTok, all those places, who try to be someone else and pretend to have a perfect life and hide all of their problems, but you know my life and my family and my problems, and you love me anyway.  What more could a girl want?  To know her real parents, maybe, of course, but at least I’m loved.  What else is there, really?

11 days to Disney World!  YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love you all!  Really!  Really truly!  Love Dave, and Sabby, and Beth, and even David, and Liz, and Allison, and Liz’s parents, and all the people who have come together to make my story what it is.  And my real parents, and my real siblings, if I have any, my previous friends who I don’t remember but am sure I loved, the cat, everyone!  Love each and every one of you!  Because you make me who I am!  And maybe someday I’ll find out more!  Who else can say that someday they might have twice the family to love them???

Maybe not.  But a girl can hope.

Love you all!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 12 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  It’s Veteran’s Day, so we get school off today!  Yay!  I thought I’d write a bit early today, I just went for my run, and I’m all smelly and sweaty, but you can’t see or smell!  To you I smell like flowers and am sitting here in a formal gown with my hair all nicely done up!  But I’m not!

I bet I’d look so cute in a formal gown.  I should try one on someday.

Anyway, I’m doing a lot better today.  You might have wondered where Beth was in all of that.  Well, she was concerned, and I explained it to her the best I could.  She hugged me and asked if there was anything she could do, and I just said “be Beth”.  Honestly, though, I leaned a lot more on Sabby and Liz.  I didn’t want to put all of that on Beth, she has enough going on.  Sometimes you have to choose, not because you don’t want to share, but because you don’t want to relive it over and over with different people.  She seemed to understand.

I hope someday I find the answers I’m looking for, but I have to accept the possibility that I never will.  And if I don’t, well, life is okay.  I don’t know who I was, but I know who I am, and that’s a Smith.  I’ll never not be a Smith.  Maybe I’ll just add another name to that.  I think it’s most important to me, of all things, to just know if they loved me.  If I know that they did, if they’re alive, or dead, then that’s most important.  I just want to know I was loved.

Anyway, today’s Veteran’s Day.  It seems impactful to Dave for some reason, but I’m not sure why.  He’s never told me whether he was in the military or not, and I never asked.  I still don’t really know, I figure it’s not my business.  But for young folks like me, it’s a day off .  For him, it seems to be something different, not a happy occasion.  I asked last year on Veteran’s day why he seemed so contemplative.  He thought for a little bit, and then said, “I know a lot of people who served, Lily.  They were… never quite the same afterwards.  War is hell.  Respect that they cared enough to go through that, but never forget that war is hell.”

And that’s all he’d say.

Maybe that was enough.

It’s funny how he seemed a little less bothered by Memorial Day.  Maybe it’s because he’s more personally affected by those who lived through it.  I don’t know.  Dave is a good guy, but he’s hard to talk to sometimes.  Maybe he’ll work out some of his feelings with grilling.  It’s a win/win for everyone!

Ten days to Disney World!!!!  Oh I’m soooo excited!  But I’ve already said what I’m so excited about, so I guess I’ll just say I’m excited!  I still don’t know what Beth and Sabby are going to do, but Beth is really excited too!!!

Love you all!!!  And to all the Veterans out there…  I don’t know what it’s like.  I don’t understand any of it.  But thanks for caring enough to go through all of that. I’m sure for most of you your heart was in the right place.  ❤️

This diary entry is part 13 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Eight days to Orlando!!!!!!!

I shouldn’t have done that, I got through work today with some caffeine, but even though I’m young, I’d still rather be bright eyed and figuratively bushy tailed (I don’t have a tail) than sleepwalking through the day.  After I got home from work I took a nap.  I feel a little better now.  Still, I won’t do that again.  Oh, who am I kidding.  I absolutely would.  But I’ll try not to, anyway.

We had so much fun, last night!  Beth had the bright idea to play “truth or dare”, and we all agreed.  I learned a lot more about Liz than I wanted!  I lucked out though!  I have no memories!  So I’d always choose “truth”, and then they’d ask me a question, and I’d say “I don’t know”, and it’s the truth!  Ever kissed a boy?  I don’t know!  Most embarrassing moment?  Musta been that talk Sabby gave us!  Both Beth and Liz ended up forcing a rule change that any “I don’t know” from me gets turned into a dare.  At that point it devolved into making me do silly dances and other silly stuff.  I drew the line when Beth wanted to make me do something truly embarrassing.  I don’t even have that kind of underwear!!!  And even if I did, I’m not walking down the street in it!  Thankfully, Liz took my side on that one, and told her that if she kept that up, She’d have that dare next time Liz got to ask her.  She gulped and took it back.  I just had to shout “I’m a teapot” instead, and that woke up a ticked off Sabby.  At that point it was lights out.  Fine by me, I was tired anyway.  We ended up in a big ol’ snoring girl pile.

Beth and I are gonna have to have a little talk, I think, though.  That kind of crossed the line.  Liz isn’t holding it against her, but I could see on Liz’s face.  That was a bit too much like the old Beth.  We really need to have a conversation.

After I took my nap, Dave told me he was going to teach me how to change the oil and tires in my car.  Probably past time anyway.  So he grabbed Beth and David too, and we trudged out.  Dave already had the car in the driveway.  He showed me how to lift it up (that’s a neat little machine!), remove the drain plug, change the filter, put the drain plug back, and pour in more oil.  Easy!  Changing a tire is also easy – just have to remember to loosen the little nuts before lifting the car, and tighten them again before rolling off.  I have nearly enough money in my account to pay for driving lessons!  Yay!  But we’ll do that after I get back from Orlando.

Tires are heavy!  But cars are heavier!  Still, good to know.  He also had Beth and David change a tire for good measure.  David had a bit of trouble because of how heavy the tires were, but it’s more important that he know than to be able to do it well for right now.

Afterwards, we had a nice dinner.  I love spaghetti, even though it’s sooo messy!  It tastes soooo good!  Especially with mushrooms and lots of parmesan.  Sabby can really cook!  She made garlic bread too!  OMG that’s soo good!

After dinner, Dave took me aside for a little talk.  It was kind of similar to the one Sabby gave me, but it was from a man’s point of view.  I won’t go into details because this isn’t a PG post, but it was good to know.  Men are more complicated than they look!  It’s a little awkward, but I’m glad they’re telling me all of this.  It’s better to know it when you need it.

Anyway, no staying up tonight.  I have to work tomorrow!  Then next weekend I go to Orlando!  SQUEEEEEE!!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 14 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So today started out boring.  I went to work, doot dooted everyone into gloriously unhealthy food, and just had a decent morning.  I got home later this afternoon, and took Sabby aside.  I told her what Beth had tried to make me do in the game of “truth or dare”.  I didn’t know how to handle it, but I couldn’t let it slide either.

She only had two things to say.

The first was “I need to thank Liz for standing up for you.”  And the second was “Get Beth down here, now.  Please.”

Before I did, I asked Sabby not to be too hard on her.  After all, she was 14 and probably didn’t know what she was doing.  Sabby shook her head.  “Maybe not,” she said.  “But if you’d done it and someone’d had a camera… no.  I need to speak with her.  And I want you here as well.”

I looked hesitant.  “Sabby, she only now stopped being mean to me…”

“Has she?,” she said, barely containing herself.  “Bring her down here, Lily.  Now.  On second thought, stay here.”  She got up and went up the stairs.  She came down dragging a protesting Beth by her arm, and sat her down next to me.

“Lily tells me you made a… very inappropriate dare the other night.  Is this true?”

Beth gave me the stinkeye, but Sabby turned her face towards her.  “Lily asked me to go easy on you.  What you did rightly concerned her  Whether I take her advice or not depends on how well you can explain yourself.  So, explain yourself.”

Beth lowered her head and nodded.  “I did.”

“Why?  Do you know what you did?  You could have gotten Lily into a lot of trouble.”

“I thought it’d be just a little embarrassing…” Beth stuttered.

“Embarrassing?,” Sabby roared.  “Try humiliating!”

“I didn’t mean…”

Sabby deflated.  “No, I don’t think you did.  Lily’s right.  You’re fourteen.  Let me explain to you exactly what could have happened if she had done as you asked.”

And she did.  In great detail.  None of which I will repeat here.  I hadn’t even thought of some of the stuff that she had said.  It was awful!  No wonder Liz was upset!  I thought it was just about trying to embarrass me, but it was soooo much worse than that!  I was even a little upset at Beth when Sabby was done.

But Beth was trembling.  “I didn’t… I didn’t mean… I didn’t know…”

“You didn’t!  And that’s the problem!,” Sabby said.  “Where did you learn that?”

“My… my old friends.”

“You’ll never speak to them again.  We’re finding you new friends.  And if I ever catch wind of you ever doing anything like that again I’m going to take you over my knee and show you what real embarrassment is!  Now go to your room, I’ll come talk to you when I’ve calmed down!”

I was a little shocked.  I’d never seen Sabby even threaten to spank one of her children.  Not even David when he got into trouble with the Internet.  Beth made haste to her room and slammed the door.  I thought I heard a sob before the door slammed.

I looked at Sabby.  “Sabby, are you okay?”  She was shaking.

“No.  I’m not, Lily.  I’m going to go take a bath.”  And she went up to her room.

I sat there for a moment.  I’d never seen Sabby like that.  I went up and knocked on Beth’s door.  “Beth -“, I said.

“GO AWAY!”, she yelled.  “Just go away!  I hate you!  I HATE YOU!”

I sighed.  Back to that again.  I went to my room.  What else was I going to do?

Well, more Smith drama.  I decided to play on my tablet for a bit.

An hour or so later, I heard a timid knock on my door.  I said “Its open,” and it opened slowly.  Beth peeked in.  I sighed and put the tablet down.

“Back to hating me again?,” I said, with a tinge of bitterness in my voice.

“No,” she said, quietly.  “I’m sorry for that.  I…  I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t either,” I said.  “It could have been bad.”

She sat down on the edge of my bed.  “I was just trying to embarrass you a little.  I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know…”

I hugged her.  “I know.  I’m sorry I told Sabby.  But I had to.  I didn’t know how to approach it, either.”

She returned my hug and sat there.  “Mom hates me.”

“No she doesn’t.  She…  ask her about her childhood someday.”

“What do you mean?”

“Not my place.  Just ask her.  I think…  I think you made her remember some things.  I don’t know what.”

She nodded.  She got up and left my room.  I heard her knock on Sabby’s door.  I heard the door open.  Then close.  Then it was quiet.

It’s still quiet.  They’re still talking.  Or Sabby’s hiding the body.

Love you all!  And one week to Orlando!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 15 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  A thoughtful Lily.

So after I wrote last night’s post I went downstairs to get something to eat.   They’d all had dinner (they usually eat without me on weekends but I don’t mind, I’m doot dooting) and I hadn’t had any dinner.  While I was downstairs microwaving some leftover Dave Grilled Meat, I heard Sabby’s door open and close, then Beth’s door open and close.  There wasn’t another sound.

As the microwave beeped, I heard Sabby’s door open again, and then I heard her coming down the stairs.  I went to the fridge to snarf some leftover potato salad, and she came into the kitchen.  I offered her some potato salad, but she just shook her head and sat down at the table.  I collected my food, as well as a soda, and sat down across from her.  I was hungry.

She just seemed content to let me eat for a little bit, then she spoke.

“Would you have done it, Lily?”

“Huh?”, I said eruditely.

“Would you have done it.  Would you have taken that dare?”

“No!,” I protested, and took another bite of chicken.

Her eyes bored into me.  “Say, if Liz hadn’t taken your side, if Beth and Liz would have both pressured you to do it, would you have?”

I swallowed my chicken.  “No, I…  I don’t think I would have.”

She shook her head.  “I think you would have.”

My heart leapt into my throat and I had to stop myself from choking on a piece of chicken.  I set the chicken down.  “You…  what?”

“I think you would have.”

I was silent.  My face was red.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you’re that kind of girl.  I completely believe you when you say that you didn’t want to, and I think you would have protested and told them to pound sand.  For a while.  But eventually you would have been worried that you’d lose Liz as a friend and Beth as a sister, and you would have done it.”

I lowered my head.  Dammit.

“Lily, you’re a good girl.  I worry about Beth and David.  A lot.  I don’t worry about you as much.  You have a good head on your shoulders, you’re smart, you have a good heart.”  She paused.  “And you would do absolutely anything if it meant that you’d be accepted by people you loved.”  She paused.  “Or needed.”

I was quiet.

Her eyes bored into me deeper.  “I know this because I was the same way, Lily.  I know you.  I know how desperate you are to be loved, to make up for what you’ve lost, to have as normal a life as you can.  You would do anything to have that.  Wouldn’t you?”

A tear leaked out of my right eye and ran down my cheek.  Sabby reached over and wiped it off with her thumb.

She spoke more gently now.  “And it would have never occurred to you… the things I told you earlier.  Would it?”

I sniffed and put my head in my hands.  I couldn’t help it.  A sob escaped.  I heard the scrape of her chair against the floor, and then I felt her arms around me, from behind.  Her chin was on my shoulder.  I sighed and relaxed a little.

“I grounded Beth,” she said.  “She’s grounded until we go off to do our thing together.  I didn’t ground her because her dare wasn’t appropriate, though it wasn’t.  I grounded her because, intentionally or not, she took advantage of your loneliness, and I can’t have that.  She needs to understand that being a sister means to build you up, not to tear you down.”  She let me go and sat back down in her chair.  “And you need to understand that there will never be any conditions in this house for our love, and I will be most displeased if anyone tries to pull that stunt that Beth did.  In the future, just say ‘no’.  And if that is not respected, then you will tell me, and I will go all Claire Huxtable on them.  Do you understand?”

I nodded.  I didn’t trust myself to speak.

There was an urgency in her voice now.  “Never, ever, be afraid to say no.  Do you understand, Lily?  Never.  Never.”

She stood up from the chair and went up the stairs.

I looked at my food.  I wasn’t really hungry anymore.  But I forced it down anyway.

Because I fear Sabby was right.  And that is the worst feeling in the world.

I’ve had much to think about today.

This diary entry is part 16 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So I think the drama’s over now.  For the most part.  I have had to do a lot of thinking and I guess I’ve been a little more moody than usual, because Sabby bought me a big chocolate shake.  You know how she says chocolate fixes everything?  I guess it doesn’t always.  But I still drank the shake!  And I did feel a little better.

Letting chocolate go to waste is a crime.  Ignore those puddings in the trash over there.  You didn’t see anything.

Beth seems a little shaken too.  I don’t think she realized what a bad influence her “friends” were.  Apparently they’d been doing stuff like that.  I don’t think Beth ever had to take a dare quite like that, but they really didn’t know when to stop.  Apparently her friends have already kissed boys!  I mean, really!  They were younger than Beth!  We did ask Beth during the game (she chose “truth”) whether she kissed a boy.  She turned beet red and said “I’m not sure”.  When all the giggling was over, we asked what she meant.  She answered, “Does the cheek count?”  Liz and I agreed that it really doesn’t.  After all, I kiss her forehead all the time, and that doesn’t count at all.

We begged for details but she wouldn’t spill.  All she’d say was she was dared to and didn’t go any further.  Apparently this wasn’t the first game of “truth or dare” she’d played, and, well, no wonder Sabby was annoyed.  But I’ll let Sabby extract that info if she wants.  Not my business.

Liz told me that we’d be meeting some of her family in Florida.  They’re coming to Disney World too.  Not quite a family reunion, but they haven’t seen each other in a while.  Apparently she has a cousin who is about my age.  Might be fun to make a new friend!  Liz wouldn’t tell me her name, though.  They haven’t talked in a long time, and she just mentioned her in passing.

Speaking of Florida, we leave in five days!  Sabby’s really fussing now.  She’s got plans on plans on plans, she told me she expects to be able to chat with me every night and wants me to tell her everything that happens, and she’s really being a mama bear.  Finally I had to tell her that I’d be fine, and to let me have fun.  She wasn’t too happy with that but seemed to realize she was being a little overbearing, and backed off just a little.   Only a little.  Sabby gonna Sabb.

Beth is still grounded, and no one’s told me what she and Sabby are going to do.  But I’ve had my own problems.  Sabby has been calling around church trying to set up outings with families that have girls about the same age as Beth.  Apparently, Beth is going to have new friends, and they are going to be Sabby-vetted.  I guess I can’t blame her.  Beth doesn’t seem too enthused, but oh well.  I’m sure Sabby knows what she’s doing.

Oh I forgot to mention, Allison lost her big game. I know, right!  So sad.  But you know what?  She got to whack the ball and everyone cheered.  Sometimes you lose something, but you get memories and experience out of it.  Next time she’ll whack the ball harder, and maybe even win!  There’s always a next time.

Oh oh oh I promised big news!  I set up subscriptions on this site!  They’re free, and they’ll let you see some things that I don’t want little eyes to see.  Nothing awful, but I try to keep this site safe for little ones by default.  If you sign up, well, you’ve been warned!

Okay.  That’s done.  Whew.

I must go now.  I have schoolwork to do.  Just because next week is a vacation doesn’t mean I get to slack off!  So math and science and all that stuff, here I come!  YAAAAAAY!!!  Oh and Japanese too!  YATTAAAA!!!!!!!!  Love you all!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 17 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  Businesswoman Lily!

Not really.  I’m still just Lily.  But after adding subscribers yesterday, Sabby suggested I play around with posting an ad on Facebook!  I don’t know why, it’s just my site, but she thought it would be good experience for me to learn how to do business stuff, so I did!  Maybe you’re seeing this because of that ad!  Hi!  I hope you enjoy what I write!  It’s fun to write and it’s fun to make new friends!  It wasn’t too expensive either!  Though my tech friend might have his head explode if I send too much traffic to the site!  Maybe at least I can start paying for the site on my own!  I think that would be good!

I’m learning soooo much!!!

Four days to Florida!!! Yaaaaaay!! OMG OMG OMG!!!!! SO EXCITED!!!  Liz told me the name of her cousin finally, it’s not that she didn’t want me to know it, it’s that she thought I wouldn’t be able to pronounce it!  She was right!  But it’s good to try anyway, right?  I’ll be glad to meet her!!!  I wonder if she likes chocolate like I do!!!

Liz doesn’t, so who knows?  But I love Liz anyway, even if she is a flawed human.  I mean, not liking CHOCOLATE?  What’s the world coming to!  I tease her all the time.  She asks me to pronounce her Chinese name.  Fair play, Liz.  You get to not like chocolate, and I get to call you Liz.  Works for me.

We have company coming over Friday night, and it’s not Liz’s parents!  Well, I guess it could be, but it’s not only Liz’s parents.  Sabby found a potential friend for Beth, and they’re coming over to meet.  Beth doesn’t seem too enthused, and from how Sabby was talking, the potential friend isn’t all that enthused either.  I’m sure it’ll work out.  If it doesn’t, well, there’s plenty of FriendFish in the sea, right?  I kind of see Beth’s point – I imagine it feels a bit like being paraded around in a pageant, but I see Sabby’s too – her old friends were bad news, even Beth thought they were bad news, being homeschooled, Beth doesn’t have huge chances to make new friends, and run on sentences are great!!!  So Beth will deal.  I do need to remind Sabby that she can lead a Beth to friends, but she can’t make them giggle.  If they don’t like each other, they don’t like each other.

But I’m sure Sabby knows that.  She’s pretty smart.

Anyway, it’s dinnertime.  The kitchen smells like Sabby food, and I want to get me some of that!  So I’m going to go eat now.  Welcome to any new folks!  Love you all!!!  Especially new folks!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 18 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Three days till we go to Orlando!  Yay!  I can’t wait!!!  I hear the airports will be really busy on that weekend so we’ll have to get there early!  Sabby’s helping me to figure out what to pack – I can’t take too much but lots of light summer clothing, sunscreen, that kinda stuff.  I hear it gets pretty warm and humid in Florida, even though it’s a lot cooler here now.  Oh, and can’t forget swimsuits!  I have that one Sabby bought me, and it’s kind of one piece and kind of not, it’s very flattering and the top will not come off!!  That’s important!  Show the girls once, shame on you!  Show them twice, shame on me!  Or something like that!!!

Swimsuits are for swimming!  Not for losing!  I want to post a picture, but Sabby’s really insistent that I don’t.  Maybe I can figure something out.  We’ll see!!

So things have been quiet in the Smith household. There’s some political or legal thing going on in Wisconsin, and things are just a mite bit tense.  I don’t know what it is, and I really don’t want to know.  I hate politics!  It’s not because they’re not important, and it’s not that I shouldn’t care, but people just get so worked up about it, and for what?  You speak up when you need to speak up, you vote when you can vote, and generally things will just take care of themselves.  Why get all worked up about stuff you can’t control?

But then I was found in the middle of the election zoo last year, so maybe my views are a bit warped.  All I’ve ever seen is the mess.  It’s normal for me.

Liz is looking forward to Orlando too.  She got a new swimsuit too.  It’s a little more revealing than mine but not much – her parents are pretty strict about that too.  She doesn’t really like it but she accepts it – it’s their way of caring.  But we’ve been talking back and forth about what to pack, and it’s hard to decide!  I wish we fit each others’ clothing, but we don’t, so we just have to make do.  Honestly, she and Beth are more alike in physique than she and I.

So I have schoolwork to do – Sabby’s really been laying it on because next week is a week off and she wants to make sure I’ve learned everything I need to.  Extra sessions with teachers and all that stuff.  But it’s okay.  It’s a lot of fun stuff to learn!  And I’m getting better at Japanese too!  I know enough to know how much I don’t know!

Anyway, gots to go!  Love you all!!!  YAAAAAAY ORLANDO!!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 19 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Two days!  Can you believe it?  I’m soooo excited!  I’ve never even been out of state before – that I can remember, anyway.  I’ve never been on an airplane, that I can remember.  I’ve never been to Disney World, that I can remember.  I’m not just excited to go to Orlando, I’m just excited to make a memory.  I have so few of my own.

People don’t understand.  They take their memories for granted.  They remember things – good things, bad things.  They know who they are.  They even know their name!  How precious is a name?  I mean, I did get to choose mine, but a name is a gift that someone gives you when you’re born!  I don’t know what mine is!  It makes me sad sometimes.

Even if I were to choose to keep “Lily”, at least I’d know what my parents wanted me to be named.  That means something.  Don’t you think?

I imagine it’s easy for all of you readers to forget that Lily isn’t my real name.  Well, I guess it is legally.  And it’s what everyone calls me.  But I chose it.  I had to name myself, because no one else knew.  That’s such an awful thing.  I think so, anyway.  No one else knew.

But this isn’t a time for sadness!  I’m going to make a memory next week!  Maybe lots of memories!  Liz told me that her cousin has a little sister and she’ll be there too.  Maybe we’ll get along too!  Liz has a kind of smirk, though, when she talks about her cousin.  I wonder why.  Is she a little weird?

Tomorrow I’m going to work, then tomorrow night I’m going to make sure everything’s all packed up.  The flight leaves at 8:15 AM so we have to be there early!  I mean sooooo early!  I may not even sleep!  But it’ll be worth it!  Sooo fun!!!  Liz tells me we’re just going to relax on Sunday, and then on Monday comes the fun stuff!  YAAAAY!!!  I can sleep!!!

Oh oh oh…   I mentioned that a potential friend for Beth was coming over today!  Yeah, that worked.  NOT.  The family was nice enough, the parents were, well, parents, there was a boy about David’s age and they actually kinda hit it off, but the girl was kind of a prissy… umm… I mean…  she wasn’t very nice.  She was not bad looking for a fourteen year old, blonde hair, pretty face, and attitude for ages.  Beth mentioned she liked science and reading and Little Miss Priss said “Science?  Ewww!  Are you a nerd?”  Well, as you can imagine, that was pretty much the end of that.  Dave and Sabby and the parents got along pretty well, but Little Miss Priss was a dud.

She started on me, though.  Told me that I was weird for being adopted, that kind of thing.  I just looked at her and told her I may be weird, but at least I don’t make people hate me just by opening my mouth.  Her parents kinda smirked, I guess they know.  But they didn’t say anything.  I guess that’s why she’s Little Miss Priss.  It was a little awkward after that.  I guess David has a new friend, though.  That’s a good thing.

After they left, Sabby looked a little embarrassed.  Beth just looked at Sabby with the most disdainful look I’ve seen on her face ever since she stopped hating me, and told her if those are the kinds of friends she wants her to make, well, at least her old friends didn’t insult her to her face.  Then she stomped up to her room and slammed the door.

Sabby looked a little more than embarrassed then.  Poor Sabby.  Good intentions backfire again.  She just announced she was going to take a bath, went up to her room, and that was that.

Truthfully, Beth kinda had a point.  Sabby might need to refine her approach a bit.  I’m not sure having a revolving door of potential new friends every Friday is going to work out too great.  But it’s between Sabby and Beth, so oh well.

Anyway, I’ve got to work tomorrow.  Since I’m leaving on Sunday, Liz isn’t staying over tonight.  I guess Beth and Sabby leave for whatever they’re going to do on Monday or Tuesday, and same with Dave and David going fishing.  Hope they catch lots of fish!  Fish is tasty!  Especially when Sabby prepares it!

Fish is one of the few things you can’t put chocolate on!  Ewww!

Anyway, I’ve got to sleep.  Love you all!!! ❤️

 

This diary entry is part 20 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  I’m soooo excited!!!

So I got up today, did my run, and went to work.  I was soooo excited at work I could barely contain myself.  I even ran into a Karen or two and they couldn’t even faze me.  I think they picked up on my good mood and tried to ruin it, and I wasn’t having it.  One even went to the owner and told him I was being too cheerful!  He just said “Well, what do you expect her to do?  Act like you?”

Oh, that didn’t go over well!

Anyway, I got through work, and right when I was clocking out, Sabby showed up and we went to the store.  She told me to load up on snacks.  Small bottles of water, granola bars, chips… chocolate everything. You know, the gloriously unhealthy stuff I doot doot all the time at work.  So we loaded up.  She bought some stuff for Dave’s outing and her outing with Beth too, so at the end, we had bags and bags of stuff, and a lot of it was either junk or stuff that would keep in a cooler for days.  We went home, and we packed up my backpack and a couple of pieces of luggage.

Sabby was fussing so hard I thought she was going to blow a gasket, but eventually, it all got sorted.  All of my stuff was sitting next to the door, and there was nothing further to do.

I’m going to go to bed early because I have to be over at Liz’s at something like 4 AM so the Taxi or Uber can pick us up.  Then we have to head over to Bergstrom, get all checked in, and… well… I’ll let you know how that goes once I get there!

I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep!!!  I’m sooo excited!!!!

Anyway, it’s a light dinner tonight.  I don’t want to load up too much.  My body cycles will be soooo messed up.  But I’m sure it will turn out okay.

A little short entry today, but I hope tomorrow I’ll have soooo much to write about!  If I even remember!  But I will!  You’re my friends too!!!

OMG I CAN’T SIT STILL!!!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  EEP!  Sabby just told me to keep it down up here!!!!

Love you all!!!!!  OMG OMG OMG OMG ❤️