Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The weather was really nice today!  A little warm, but sunny and the air felt really nice, especially this morning when I ran!!!

I don’t really remember when I started running, actually.  When I was found, you know the story.  But at some point my psychologists and social workers told me it’d be a good idea if I exercised.  So I started running.  It wasn’t easy for a while, because running is hard, especially long distances, but I got used to it.  Now I run a couple of miles every morning.  It’s not always easy and there are a few days where I’m just too depressed or something, but most days it’s run run run.  Every now and then I take Marie with me but truth is she cramps my style. She prefers to stop and smell things and do a doody, but I need to keep going.  But she does seem to enjoy it when I do, she just gets easily distracted.  She is a dog, I guess.

Liz runs with me sometimes but usually she prefers to do her own exercise.  And Beth… well, you couldn’t wake her up early enough.  She’s definitely kind of a night owl.

I always feel better after a run though.  It wakes me up.

Dave has some other exercise equipment that he uses sometimes but I don’t bother.  I don’t need to bulk or tone up or anything, and the running’s enough to make my legs look good!

Jack runs too, but not as much as I do.  He’s not really athletic, but he tries to keep in shape.  That’s how I met him, remember?  In the exercise room in the hotel at Orlando.  Well, after he got an eyeful of me in my swimsuit, anyway.

I guess I’m babbling because I don’t have a lot to say.  Things are moving along.  I practiced drums today.  It’s not hard.  I’ve already been trained in rhythm for the piano (even if I don’t remember how) so it’s just remembering where all the different clangy and boomy pieces are.  It’s kind of fun, I guess.  Not something I would have chosen for myself, though.  They say drums are like the “engine” for a band… which is funny to me, because classical musicians like me not only don’t need drums, they kind of get in the way.  Did you know a piano is a percussion instrument?

Anyway, guess I should go.  I’m sleepy.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Silly Billy LIly!!! Remember that?  I’m still a silly billy… I guess.  But I’m an older silly billy.  Or something like that.

It’s funny, isn’t it.  How things are sometimes.  I was thinking about Crystal and her guitar and how we’re all kind of banding together to support her… and how awful it is that Crystal feels the need to be so driven in the first place.  But is it really all that different for any of us?  I mean, why do any of us do the stuff we do?  Sometimes it’s because it’s fun, but sometimes it’s because we don’t know how to do anything else, and sometimes it’s out of self-interest or even desperation.  I don’t even know if Crystal likes the guitar.  I know she’s learning it, and she’s driven to learn it, and she has reasons to learn it, but does she like it?  I don’t know.  She’s never told me.  I’m not sure she knows, herself.

It’s not a bad skill to have, don’t get me wrong.  Even if she doesn’t really like it, it won’t hurt for her to know how to play it, and to have a little background in music that she didn’t before…  but if she’s doing it out of desperation I don’t know how much it’ll take.

I don’t know if it’s really desperation, but I don’t really know what else to call it.  It sure sounds like desperation to me.

So I’m actually not even sure how long our little band is going to last.

Maybe she’ll grow to like it, though, even if she doesn’t.  Music does have a way of growing on you, even if you sometimes don’t like the particular instrument you choose.  People don’t like one type of music or other, but I’ve never heard of anyone – not anyone, not one person, who hates music completely.  How could they?  How is it possible to completely hate all forms of music?  That’s not how we’re wired.  So maybe it’s that Crystal doesn’t like the guitar, but maybe would like something else.  Or…. maybe she really does like the guitar.  Or maybe just the idea of being in a band.

I dunno.  I’m not her therapist.  Thankfully.  I love the girl but she’s too much for me, in that way, anyway.

Personally, it’s going to be a while, but I’m this weird combination of looking forward to, and absolutely dreading, getting up on a stage (no matter how small) with nothing but bandmates and a set of drums.  It’s funny.  I don’t really get nervous when playing piano.  Even if it’s in front of a large auditorium with a full orchestra.  I mean, a little nervous, but it’s just something I do, I guess.  But…  sitting behind a drum set?  I think I’d be nervous.

But I’m still practicing.  She’s my sister.  I promised her something.  I keep my promises.  I didn’t promise her forever, but when she’s ready to play, I’ll be there with drumsticks and black lipstick and a little dorito sticking out of my head and…  well… you know what I mean.  I keep my promises.  I always keep my promises.

And of all of us… well…  I really am the most accomplished musician.  Liz might be better.  But…  she didn’t play a concerto.  Yet, anyway.  I’m hearing rumors for next spring that there might be a Tchaikovsky violin concerto in her future.  It’d be so fun to do a double feature with her.

Anyway…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I do like Sundays…  most of the time, anyway.

Jack and I spent the day together.  We don’t date as often as we’d like, but we both were free today, so we went out!!!  It was a lot of fun.  We got some frozen yogurt and he bought me some chocolate.  Of course, it wouldn’t be a fun date if there wasn’t chocolate involved somehow.  He was stuck with babysitting duties today (well, it’s Grace, so “stuck” isn’t quite the right word – everyone loves Grace) so we took her with us.  I mean, it’s nice to spend time alone with him, but I like spending it with him and Grace too.  It feels a little like we’re a little family, and it’s a nice thought. Maybe someday I’ll have a little girl with him.

But who knows… life has been throwing me a lot of sucker punches lately.

Not a whole lot else interesting happened.  It was a pretty nice day.  The family went to church and I didn’t.  Yeah, we won’t say any more about that.  I do miss the chocolate pancakes, but it’s the principle of the thing…

Some days are more interesting than others… some days are boring.  Today was a boring one.  But hey.  Can’t all be winners.

We talked a bit about the trip with Liz’s family.  He’s looking forward to it.  So am I.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

The girls were over last night, and we spent all night talking and doing all the stuff we do when the girls are over!!!  It was so much fun, but I didn’t get a chance to write.  Rebecca and her friends were on zoom, and so were Ai and the Aidols…  we had a full house!!!  We were all playing games at our respective houses.  Rebecca made a couple of new friends that she had over too, so we all had fun chatting and stuff.  They’re all boy-crazy, but that’s Rebecca for you.

Crystal showed off her, well, “chops”.  Or lack thereof.  But she’s still better than pretty much everyone but Yuki… and surprisingly Britni… everyone was impressed.  She was preening under the attention, so I took her aside and said “don’t get a big head – you have a lot of work to do.”  She deflated a little but seemed to appreciate the reality check.  Music is one of those things you can’t fake.  You either get it right or you don’t.  You can talk a big game all you want, but the minute you start strumming, you can’t really fake it.

She is making a surprising amount of progress, though, for the few days she’s been practicing.  I guess three hours a day really does have results.

I can get away with that because I actually do have the chops and proved it in front of an auditorium full of people, one of which was her.  She knows I’m not faking it.

Today we all went shopping – Yuki, Liz, and I needed to get stuff for our trip, and everyone else wanted to tag along.  I imagine a gaggle of girls in a sporting goods store must have been annoying, but oh well!  We are what we are!!  We got some sleeping bags, other stuff for camping, some provisions… you know, all the needed stuff.  Liz and her parents will make a separate trip, too, for stuff we didn’t get.

We went to the mall food court after and pigged out, so everyone got something out of it!!!

Oh, I said earlier that Jack and I never woke up together.  That’s not exactly true.  One night when I was visiting him in Ohio we got carried away and I fell asleep in his arms.  His mother caught us.  That was so embarrassing!!!  Especially because I wasn’t, umm…  fully dressed.  Yeah, the floppy bits were all hanging out!!!  But…  that’s all we did.  Everything that really matters was still covered.  Thankfully.  His mother might have killed me.

As long as she got him too, I guess we would have deserved it.  Oh well.

You know I was just thinking, we haven’t gone to the waterpark in a long time!  I still love the waterpark, but everything’s just been so busy.  Is this what it’s like to be an adult?  Sometimes I don’t like that very much.

Anyway, time for bed.  I wonder sometimes if people think our girl-piles are weird.  It seems a lot of girls don’t do that.  Rebecca doesn’t, for example.  She has that big indoor tent that they all had sleepovers in, but the whole piling together on the bed and sleeping in a tangle of arms and legs and occasionally other parts doesn’t seem to be all that typical.  I don’t know when we started doing it.  I think…  I just didn’t want to be alone, and neither did Beth and Liz, and it just kind of grew from there.  It’s always been innocent…  but it’s so nice to wake up in a warm pile of softly breathing girl.  It’s like everything’s right in the world…

Well, until one squirms around and plants her rear in your face without realizing it.  You silly-billy boys might be jealous… but believe me.  There’s nothing to be jealous about.  Ewww.

I love my sisters.  Maybe that’s just one way to show it.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Yuki is coming with Liz’s family and I!!!

I didn’t ask.  It wouldn’t have been appropriate.  It was Liz’s idea.  She said Yuki should see what our country has to offer, and if that means taking an extra person along, she’s fine with that.  Besides, her family is curious about Yuki.  They’re Chinese, and don’t know a lot about Japanese people, except for… well, we don’t talk about that.  They don’t hold a grudge, but they think it’d be good to get to know an actual Japanese person instead of just thinking the worst because of… well, we still don’t talk about that.  Let’s just say the Chinese and Japanese… well… they don’t get along well sometimes.

Besides, Liz likes her.  They’re not best friends like we are, but she respects Yuki for all the stuff she’s done in her life.  She says “Japanese people did some awful stuff, but she wasn’t born then, so…  why hold it against her?”

That’s why I love Liz.

Yuki’s really excited.  She has no idea what to bring on a trip like that!  I promised to take her shopping.  I have to go shopping myself.  I don’t even have a sleeping bag!

I don’t know if I’ll have cell service there, so…  I might just have to not write until I get back.  We’ll see.  Aww.

And it’s not long!!!

Beth’s a little jealous, but Sabby told her that she’ll get all the turkey and trimmings, and I’ll be eating bugs.  Beth seemed a little mollified by that… the little…  GRRRR.  I won’t be eating bugs.  But Beth doesn’t have to know that.

When Beth gets jealous she turns awful.

Oh well.  That’s Beth.

The drum set arrived, and Dave helped me set it up in the garage.  I kind of stink at it.  It’s not that I can’t keep up a ryhthm – of course I can.  But getting my feet to work at the same time as my hands is a little different than the piano.  Dave told me I can only practice for an hour a day, because otherwise the neighbors will start complaining.  That’s fine.  It shouldn’t be a problem.  Crystal still has a long way to go anyway.

David wants to play on it too.  I told him fine, but if he damages it, I’ll take it out of his hide.  I said it with my most evil grin, and reminded him of what I did to Beth a couple of years ago when she honked my floppy bits.  He had the decency to gulp, anyway.  If you don’t remember, I slung her over my shoulder, then made her and Crystal wash my car.  David…  I’ll probably just sneak onto his game console and delete all of his saved games.  I told him that, too.  Right to his face.

“You wouldn’t”, he said.

“Watch me,” I said.

He has been pretty careful with it.  Thankfully.  Just because I have a little money doesn’t mean I’m going to spend it on stupid stuff like fixing stuff David broke.  That’s for college.

Speaking of a little money, I took the distribution when my trust fund matured and put it into a better investment managed by an actual fiduciary.  It’s not doing great but I feel better knowing that I have some control over it.  Once bitten, twice shy, you know.  I’m not getting much out of the business right now, it’s all getting reinvested, but it’s making a pretty good profit so it’s all working out.  I’m not in any danger of losing everything.  I haven’t lost too much since I found out about it, but it hasn’t gained a whole lot either.  I actually took a significant chunk and put it in a high yield savings account (I get 4%), and am taking out the interest and adding that to my investments.  Dave taught me that little trick.  Free money is free money!!!

Oh well.  That’s all boring stuff.

Jack and I are going out again soon.  We’re both so busy we don’t go out as much as we want, but… we make it work.  Oh did I mention he’s going with us too?  He’s Liz’s cousin, of course he is!!!  Just like Orlando a couple of years ago.

Maybe they’ll let us share a sleeping bag.  But I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t.  But we’ve proven we can be responsible!  Well… ummm… mostly.  BLUSH.  I’d love to wake up in his arms, though.  We’ve done a lot together.  Never that.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s November!!!  Can you believe it??  Thanksgiving is coming up, and my trip with Liz’s family too!!!  I’m kind of looking forward to it.  I don’t spend enough time with Liz.

I asked Sabby if Yuki could come to Thanksgiving, even if I’m not there.  She said sure, so Yuki has a place to go.  I mean, I’m sure her host family wouldn’t mind, but Sabby cooks really well.  Maybe her host family can come too.  I’ll ask Sabby what she thinks.

I asked Yuki what her host family thinks of all the time she spends with us.  She said that they’re a bit on the older side and they get along alright, but they’re happy she’s getting out and getting to know more American people.  She’s pretty happy she gets to scratch her idol-ish itch without being mobbed.  I guess everyone’s happy.

Oh, speaking of idol, she had her first actual visitor from Japan.  I guess someone came down to see her.  They did the right thing and asked first, so she was able to come down and say hi.  We made some Yuki merch and told the Japanese person that they would have to buy a piece of merch to see her, and he did it gladly. That’s what idols do in Japan pretty much, anyway.  We give Yuki a sizable chunk of the profits when that happens.  It’s not a lot because she’s not selling a whole lot, but it’s the thought that counts, and it buys her one of her favorite drinks every now and then, anyway.

I know it might seem like we’re taking advantage, but Yuki’s completely fine with it, and is even a bit grateful.  Making people pay to see her means that people that actually want to take advantage, have a bit harder time.  And it’s not too expensive, anyway.

In fact, their experience is better, because they get her all to themselves for a few minutes.  At Japanese handshake events, you get about thirty seconds and a fake smile.  Here, Yuki actually gets to spend about fifteen minutes, and gets to know them a little bit.  She likes that, it doesn’t feel quite as parasocial.  She really does like her fans, it’s just that being an idol means she has to keep them at arm’s length.  She doesn’t have to do that quite so much now.

And if she wants to, she can just walk out.  That’s part of the rules.

She actually traded contact info with her fan, and they’re talking on X now.  That’s pretty cool.  It’s not like she’s going to marry him or anything, he went back to Japan, but it makes her happy to be able to actually connect with a fan instead of just fake smiling and having someone herd them through a line.

And besides, the “maids” can take up the slack.  Cat-girl has taken to feeding customers while making a cutesy voice.  It’s… a bit disgusting, if I’m being honest, but they eat it up.  In more ways than one.  I told cat-girl that’s fine if she wants to do that, but we’re not advertising it, we’re not requiring it, costumes stay completely on at all times, and if someone gets out of line we’re yeeting them.  She actually seemed grateful.  We even put up a sign, that says something to the effect of, “We sell pastries and have beautiful women to serve them to you.  If they like you, you might get a little kawaii special treatment, but that’s at their discretion, and if you demand it you get yeeted” or something like that, along with another disclaimer that we are a maid cafe/pastry shop, NOT a house of ill repute, and to behave accordingly.

Shame we have to say that.

Sabby isn’t all that comfortable with it, but as with everything cat-girl does, it makes for very loyal customers and brings in a metric boat-load of money.  But we still have to, erm… keep her on a tight leash.

Dang it, she probably wouldn’t mind if that were a literal statement.

Oh, I didn’t tell you what they did for Halloween.  I’m glad I wasn’t there, I probably would have been hella embarrassed.  Awww.  Let’s just say Sabby relaxed all restrictions for one night and told them that as long as they didn’t expose anything that would get us in legal trouble, they could wear what they wanted.  And apparently cat-girl raided an… umm…. adult novelty shop…  and took Sabby’s restriction of “don’t expose anything that would get us in legal trouble”… umm…  literally.

We… ummm… did a lot of business…  mostly by word of mouth.  People on their phones outside saying “You’re not going to believe what I just saw…”

I think Sabby’s going to be a little more specific next year.  Cat-girl is so much like grabbing a dog by the ears…  you don’t dare let go…

The others were a bit more…  cutesy.  Cat-girl is in a league of her own…

Anyway…

Guess I should walk the dog, do some hair brushing, and to go bed.  Yuki has such nice thick black hair.

Love you all!!! ❤️