Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Tomorrow’s election day!!!

I can’t vote yet.  I’m only seventeen.  But I’ll be able to vote next year!!!  Dave and Sabby already voted, though.  We have early voting here in Texas, and apparently, a lot of the time it’s in a grocery store.  So they stood in a line snaking through a pastry display.  Apparently they voted around Halloween, so everyone was dressed up!!!

Dave and Sabby are mostly agreed on who to vote for this time, oddly enough.  Usually they fight a bit about who to vote for, but I guess they’re really sick of some things.  The school board in the town I live in is kind of a mess, so they, as Sabby put it, voted the bums out.

That’s one reason they took us out of school and home-schooled us.  But even the community college is far better than our ISD.  Jack doesn’t seem to mind, though.  Maybe he’s a little more used to all that stuff.  He knows what’s good and what’s bad.

So tomorrow we’re all getting junk food (lots of chocolate and soda), and sitting around the TV or computer and watching the election results!  I don’t talk about politics here, and I won’t start now, but I think I’ll be able to tell you if they’re happy or sad!  I think they’ll be happy, though.

I need to learn more about this stuff, for when I vote next year, or worse, in 2024!!!

I’m going to doot doot for the country!!! Hahaha!!!

Okay!  Bedtime!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I went to church today.  Jack came with me, but I think only because I asked him to.  He’s so sweet.

Truthfully, I still don’t understand half the stuff the pastor talks about.  In fact, it doesn’t even interest me all that much.  None of it makes any sense.  Lots of big words that just kind of go in one ear and out the other.  And I won’t lie and say I didn’t check my phone a couple of times.  But for the most part, I just sat there like a good girl and let the pastor do his thing.

Thankfully, it didn’t go forever.  He’s pretty good about sticking to time.  And the music is pretty.  Though Dave can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

So after we went for chocolate pancakes (Jack’s favorite part of it), we went home, and Dave and David went to put some finishing touches on the shop, and I trolled YouTube for a couple of hours.  And I found a really interesting video, on how to make chocolate.

Did you know you can make chocolate?

Apparently you take the beans, which look a bit like slimy maggots, ferment them, dry them, roast them, grind them, mix them with sugar and cocoa butter and maybe other stuff, and cook them.  And what comes out is really good chocolate.

I told Sabby I want to learn how to make chocolate.

She thought, and said “I…  didn’t even think of that.  That’s a great idea.  Tell me what you need.”

So I’m going to learn to make chocolate!

I think I’d be really good at it!

And it would help the shop, because it’s something I can do!

So Sabby’s going to get me a dehydrator, and a roaster, and some molds, some cocoa pods (I don’t know what they’re called) and a few other things I’ll need.  Maybe I won’t be a chocolatier – but I’ll try!  And no one can say I don’t love chocolate!  Because I do!!!

I told Beth, and she said “Well… I can’t think of anything you’d be happier doing.”  Maybe she’s right.  And I get to eat my product!!!  I win!!!

Marie’s whining, gotta take her out.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And there’s a little subscriber content in this post.  You know the drill – it’s only for 13 or older, and nothing story affecting is in there.

Last night, we did make a girl-pile, and Beth and Crystal were all snuggly.  It was cute.  I know some of you might be thinking they’re something they’re not… but they’re not.  They’re just best friends, and I think even sisters now.  I mean, I’m all snuggly with Beth sometimes too, does that make us that?  No, it doesn’t.  I even asked Beth about it and she says she likes boys, so hah.  Stop that, you silly-billies.

Jack and I went on a date today!!!

We didn’t do anything big.  Grace and her family went out to have an event, and left us to do our thing.

We went to the mall, and just walked around holding hands.  He seems a lot more comfortable when it’s not three or four girls all squealing and trying stuff on.  And then we went to the food court at the Korean supermarket and had some really good stuff!!!

I’ asked Jack if he wants to go to church with me tomorrow.  He doesn’t seem too interested, but then, in some ways, I’m not either, so maybe we can be not interested together.  I’m not going because I believe it all.  I’m going because they want to be my family.

Like Jack does, I think.

Okay, bedtime, and Marie needs walked.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

… Crystal is here.  All the girls are here.

I’d like to say it was a happy, cheerful night, like it used to be.  But it wasn’t.  Not really.  I mean, we were all happy to see her, and she got treated like a queen in many ways.  Sabby made her a cake (one of the really chocolatey and decadent ones), and…  we went upstairs, and it all kind of went to heck.

Beth was not happy with her.

It’s not that Beth hates her.  She doesn’t, not at all.  I don’t think she would be near this upset if she hated her.  But she was kinda snapping at Crystal a bit.  Crystal just sat there with her eyes downcast, and Beth just… kinda laid into her.  In fact I thought she was going to slap her a couple of times, but she didn’t.  Diana and Liz and I just kinda sat there and let her.  She needs to get it off her chest, and it’s not really about us.

But then Crystal started crying.

Beth just kinda deflated and sat down on the side of the bed, and just said, quietly, “I thought I’d lost you.”

Crystal just quietly sobbed.

Beth wrapped her arms around her and started crying.

And the rest of us just went downstairs for a snack.

A few minutes later they came down.  both of them were sniffling, but they seemed to have worked it out.  We all had another piece of cake, and now we’re getting ready to make a girl-pile.

I missed Crystal.  We all did. She told us about her time in the inpatient program.  Apparently she made a few friends, and has a support system if she needs it.

That’s good.  I don’t know when we’ll get the old Crystal back.  Or the old Beth.  But this is a really good start.

Tomorrow we’ve got much to do, so it’s time for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

So Crystal’s out of her therapy program for now, but she’s on some medicine and still has a lot of work to do.

I hope she can come over tomorrow.

But I’m worried.

The thing is, that none of the bad stuff that happened to her, was her fault.  Whose fault was it?  Well, her family ended up homeless.  Could they have made different decisions?  Could they have made better decisions?  Did she have to be homeless?  Couldn’t her family have found her a place to live for the short term?  I can’t help but feel that someone messed up bad somewhere, and she’s the one who had to deal with it.

And the past is the past, but is it?  Are they one or two paychecks away from being homeless again?  We can’t let that happen!  Not to Crystal!  Not again!

So I’m worried.  Are we helping Crystal fix her problems, just to throw her into the deep end again if or when things go south?

And what if Dave were to lose his company, and Sabby’s business were to not work out, and we were to lose our house.  Where would we go?  What would we do?

It’s in the news today that a lot of tech companies are laying people off.  Twitter’s going to lay 2,500 people off tomorrow, and a couple of other companies are too.  We seem to be fine now, but what if we’re not?  Will I end up in a homeless shelter, with creepy men doing bad stuff to me too?  What if I hadn’t been taken in by Dave and Sabby?  Maybe I would be in a homeless shelter, and what then?  Am I just really really lucky?  It hurts to think about.

I mean, I’ve got that trust that I somehow got and probably don’t deserve, so there’s that, but still.  I’m worried.  It’s too easy for everything to fall apart.

I think…  I think I might know a little how Beth feels.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Nothing important going on today,  Just school, dinner, Marie, you know, the usual.  Thanksgiving is coming though.  Yay!  I remember last Thanksgiving, that’s when I met Jack!  I didn’t think I’d fall for someone at first sight, but I did!!!  And we’ve been… well, kinda together until he asked me to be his girlfriend… for that long!  Can you believe it?

I sometimes wonder if he fell for me at first sight because I look good in a swimsuit!!!  Well, I am hot.  Modest, too.  Hahha!!!  But he’s proven that he’s not just in it for that.  He’s taken care of me really well, and I love him for that.

He’s a good guy.  He’s never once yelled at me, and when he did get upset he had a pretty good reason.  We’ve never truly fought.  I hope we never do, but we probably will someday.  But I hear making up is nice.

The storefront is nearly done!  Dave and David have been working really hard!  But there’s still lots to do.  We have to move all of the equipment in, and Sabby and I need to discuss what we’re going to sell!

I can’t bake anything until I’m 18, but I can stand at the counter looking pretty and saying “can I help you?”  I can do that!  And doot doot too!!!  But I’ll get to help program the dooter this time!!!

That reminds me, I should go see the owner.  Even if just to take him some cookies and tell him we’ll be able to take orders soon.  I wonder if Jack wants to be a delivery guy.  We’ll see.  He’s pretty happy at his job.  Maybe Crystal’s mother wants a job!!!  Yeah, we’ll see.

Speaking of Crystal, she’s getting out of her inpatient treatment soon.  I hope she’s doing alright.  She’s my little sister.  I love her.  And I think Beth sees her as a sister too, that’s why she’s been so depressed.  Well, hope the therapist helps.  Beth seems a tiny bit peppier now, so there’s that.

Marie is whining and has her leash in her mouth.  I didn’t teach her that!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it’s NOVEMBER!!!

Time goes so fast anymore!!!  Seems like just yesterday it was October! Hahaha!!!!

Well, after this weekend, things are pretty quiet.  Beth and I went to classes today, and afterwards we helped Dave tear the haunted house down.  He stashed all the stuff away for next year!!! Maybe next year we can do it even bigger!!!  Or… who knows.

Beth saw her therapist today.  She didn’t really want to go but Sabby basically made her.  She fought a little but eventually just folded.  That’s how I know she’s not feeling good – normal Beth does absolutely nothing she doesn’t want to do, not without claws.  So I drove her there and went off to a Starbucks or something while I waited for her and had something overpriced that took a lot of words to order.  Delicious, though.

When I picked her up, her makeup was stained.  She’d been crying.  She didn’t really want to talk about it but she said the therapist seemed to be a good one and she’ll keep going.

That’s good, I hope she helps.

Poor Beth.

I took her home so she could fix her face, and then we went to class.

She’ll talk to me when she’s ready, I guess.  I’m still brushing her hair at night, so that’s something.  I don’t ever want to stop doing that.

I’m not mad at Crystal, but I’m not happy with her either.  One stupid decision and Beth ends up needing to go to a therapist, and I wonder if she’ll ever understand how much she hurt us.  But then, life hurt her as well, and do we understand?  Life is just one big ball of hurt sometimes, I guess.

On the plus side, even David knows Beth’s dealing with something, and he’s been a bit nicer to her lately.  We’ll take it, I guess.

Well, time for bed.  Marie needs walked, as she usually does.  She’s actually been spending a lot more time with Beth lately too.  I guess dogs know.

Love you all!!! ❤