This diary entry is part 25 of 29 in Lily's diary dated 10 - April 2022

Hi!  It’s me! Lily!

You know, I’ve never actually experienced real school.

I mean, I did zoom classes, but I never actually set foot in a building.  When school was about to go back to in person, Sabby took us out.  I don’t know if I miss it.  Lessons are okay, I mean.  Sabby’s an okay teacher, and we’re learning a lot of useful stuff.  Like electronics, and mechanics, and math and science, and the lessons are always topical.  Plus I get to learn Japanese and take piano lessons, and maybe I wouldn’t be able to do that in “real” school.  So that’s nice.  I don’t feel like I’m missing anything there.

In fact, given some stuff I’ve heard about, I’m kinda glad I don’t.  How challenging would it be, being half-Japanese, and living in a mixed family?  I mean, I don’t mind at all!!! But there would be, well, expectations, you know?

But I think I do miss sports.  I like to run, and I think I’d like to play sports, but I don’t have the chance now!  I just run every morning and that’s it.  Would be nice to play volleyball, or maybe even cheerlead…  I bet Jack would love me in the uniform!  But maybe… that just won’t happen now.

I gain some things, and lose some things.  Is what I gain worth what I’m losing?

I don’t know.  I really don’t.

Speaking of piano lessons, my recital’s coming up.  I’m playing alright, but my teacher is teaching me how to be an actual performer.  You know, bowing, being demure, that kind of thing.  I’m not a demure girl!  I’m going to model my nice black dress for my teacher, maybe it’s good enough, but I might need a formal gown.

I bet I’d look so good in a formal gown!!!

And you know?  I don’t really know how to walk in high heels.  Mid heels, okay, but not high heels.  I need to learn.  Oh Saaabbbbyyyyyy!!!! hahaha!!!  I don’t think they’d be comfortable most of the time, but for special occasions… would be good to know.

Or maybe I already do.  Don’t know until I try.

My teacher tells me that being a performer is as much about being what people expect of me as being who I am.  I don’t think I like that.  But I guess it’s like the YouTubes I make sometimes.  That’s me, but it’s not!

Love you all!!! ❤

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