This diary entry is part 10 of 25 in Lily's diary dated 28 - October 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Am I really feeling better?  I don’t know.  Maybe I am?  At least I’m not staring at a wall anymore.  There’s really only so long you can stay really depressed before just the depression itself becomes exhausting, isn’t it?

That’s really something I miss about Japan.  Say what you will about some things, some very nice shrines with beautiful, well taken care of gardens are always a short train ride away, and you can put on a yukata or kimono, and go down to one, and sit on a bench and listen to the birds, crickets, and cicadas, watch the colorful fishes swimming around, and if you feel like it, get a fortune and ring the bell and clap…  but there’s nothing like that here, in Texas.  Just suburban houses and dead or dying grass and flat land as far as the eye can see… I guess Lake Travis is something, but not a whole lot.  Not like Japan.

I don’t hate it here… it’s my home.  But…  it’s not Japan in that way.  There’s a lot less natural peace to be found here.  Though sometimes it’s funny when I go to the grocery store and see lots of really dumb birds hanging around the parking lot and barely avoiding getting run over.

Is it really fair that I got depressed?  I mean there’s stuff going on in the middle east right now that makes my life seem like an idyllic paradise.  But sometimes I guess you can’t help how you feel, right?  I mean, you can lecture someone till you’re blue in the face about how they should be feeling this and shouldn’t be feeling that, but at the end of the day, they’re going to feel what they feel and not feel what they don’t feel and no amount of guilt or shame or yelling or pleading or bullying is going to change that.  That’s like life 101.  Human moods are relative, not absolute.  Right?

Well… in other news.

The store is almost completely remodeled. Dave and David work fast, and it didn’t hurt that Dave pulled in some of his workers to get it done faster, and also most of the stuff we did is freestanding or superficial.  Like, we didn’t really have to redo the floors or ceilings or anything, we just built a stage and wired in some musical stuffs.  I think we’ll be doing another grand opening this weekend, and Yuki’s our headliner.  But now we’re doing live music too, and…  we’re going to have to find acts.  Or make our own, I guess.

Also, Rebecca is settling in in her new house.  At least the weather’s nice.  She’s not used to suburban Texas, it’s very different from California, but she seems to like it, and she’s already started going to school and making some new friends.  I guess the new girl from California is always going to be popular!  Well, with some people.  Sometimes Texans don’t like Californians, but I’m sure she’ll grow on them.  She’s not really out there or anything.  Just a normal California girl.

Her friends miss her, but we’re still getting on zoom calls, and still lots of fun to be had.  I guess they just have to do their shopping trips by themselves now.

I’m trying to round the girls up for a trip up there in a couple of weeks.  That should be fun.  I guess it’s up to the parents of everyone but Liz and Yuki, though, whether they’re allowed to go.  It’s a pretty long trip.

Yuki hasn’t been to Dallas yet, so she’s looking forward to that.

Dave is putting up the Halloween decorations this weekend, too.  The safety ladder arrived.  Maybe he’ll stay on it.

Marie wants to go out before bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

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