Series: 24 - June 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And today was more practicing and more rehearsing.  We got all the way through, no interruptions!  Yaayy!!!  It’s hard, though.  It needs a lot of active listening and skills I have to work at.  But that’s what it’s all about, right?

Sabby sent my gown – you know, the really pretty one I wore to the Oscars (!!) to dry cleaning, and I’ll wear it to dress rehearsal tomorrow night.  I’m glad it doesn’t have sleeves and that slit down the side will help me to use the pedals!!!  I mean jeans work fine but gowns are gowns, right?  I need to make sure I know how to use the pedals in heels!!!

Who invented heels anyway?  They make my legs look amazing but they’re awful to walk in!! I hear that back in the 1700, French guys used to wear heels as a sign of status.  How things change sometimes…  I hear pink used to be a boy’s color and blue used to be for girls!

So confusing!!!

Sabby’s coming to the dress rehearsal tomorrow, she wants to see how it all sounds.  She says that after having to put up with my practicing for weeks, it’s the least we can do for her.  Conductor doesn’t mind.

Okay gotta sleep!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I had my concert!!! I’m SO WIRED!!!!

So yesterday was the dress rehearsal.  We went to the auditorium, and it was a lot bigger than I thought!  It could hold easily a thousand people!!! But it was just me and the conductor, the orchestra, and a few people that were hanging around, like Sabby.  I went out and heard some sparse clapping – and I had to be careful because I’m still not used to heels.  Aww.  But I made it to the piano alright and we played through.

It’s such an interesting thing.  When I’m playing with someone or an orchestra, I just lose all track of time.  It’s just me and the music.  The piece lasts like half an hour, but it felt like five minutes.  After I was done, I stood up and bowed to the maybe five people clapping… and Sabby was crying.

Awww.

So after I was done, I went down and asked her why she was crying.

She just said it was beautiful and she was so proud of me.

Aww.  I started crying too.

Anyway, after our cry fest, I had to talk to the conductor for some last minute notes – you know, speed up here, slow down there, watch me, that kind of thing.  And then I went home.  I was pretty beat, so I just went to bed.

Well, today I woke up, and I was really, really nervous.  Sabby took me to the spa to get my hair done, and that relaxed me a little.  I don’t know why but when people play with or mess with my hair I just turn into a little puddle, and it was really nice.  So after all that, I went home, had a light lunch, and got dressed.  I really didn’t feel like eating much.

I even put on perfume.  I almost never put on perfume.  I mean, body washes and deodorants and stuff, yes, but not perfume.  But I have this really nice one Jack got me on a whim once, so I wore that.

So we all piled into the car and we went to the auditorium.  I got them free tickets (one of the perks of being a performer) and then went backstage.

I was soooooo nervous.

Jack showed up and I met him at the backstage door, and he gave me a big hug and told me I’d do great.  That meant a lot.

Finally I heard the orchestra warming up with that rather distinctive A, and then I walked out.  And…  wow.  The place was full.  I have no idea where they found all those people, but I think half of them for me!  Even the owner was there!!!  Everyone from the shop, my family… even Emiko showed up!  Dang it, even Robert and Rebecca flew down!  I wasn’t expecting that!!!  I think a large fraction of the church was there too!!!  Everyone clapped and hooted!!!

OMG!!!

So I sat down…  and I was actually shaking a little.  The slit in my dress was facing the audience too, and… aww.  A mite bit embarrassing, but at least I shaved!! Hahaha!!!

Anyway, the orchestra hit that E, I started with the opening chords, and forgot all about the audience.  It was, again, like it took five minutes.  I got through the first movement, the cadenza, and the coda (kind of a beast), the second movement was a bit of a technical respite but those are more challenging musically, and then the third movement, which is a lot of arpeggios and running scales, especially at the end.  I flubbed it once or twice but nothing really noticeable and it went really well!!!  I hit the last chord and the audience erupted!!!

I was so wired I could barely think straight!  I remembered to stand up and bow, and the conductor waved the orchestra to stand up, and…  I’ve never experienced anything like that, and I want more.

They started yelling for an encore!  Oh crap, I hadn’t thought of that!!!

But I came back out and played a quick Chopin prelude, which seemed to feed the beast.

I went backstage to change out of my gown and into some nice but far more practical clothes, and after I came out and got mobbed.  Everyone wanted to shake my hand and give me hugs and kiss me on the cheek and tell me how much they loved it, it was all a blur, actually.  After about fifty people I was just saying “thank you, thank you,” on autopilot.  It was so overwhelming.  Even people I didn’t know!  one person I didn’t know gave me a big hug and said they were proud of me!  Which was a little weird but there are a lot of people I don’t know, I guess.  Finally after everyone had their fill of shaking and hugging and kissing (Jack was the only one who got the lips, haha!) I packed into the car with the family and we went to get chocolate pancakes!!!

It was just the family and Emiko and family and Robert and family because we couldn’t fit everyone into the restaurant, but everyone else understood.  Crystal and Diana said we’d chat later. Allison seemed to have a good time but was ready for bed.  Liz tagged along though.  I mean, she’s my best friend, right?

I think the biggest surprise, though, was Beth.  She actually looked awed.  I was expecting her to be jealous, but…  she wasn’t.  She just said it was amazing and that maybe someday she can sing in front of such a large crowd.

Anyway, Robert and Rebecca are staying over tonight and we’re all going to the waterpark tomorrow!!!

OMG!!! I haven’t been to the waterpark in sooooo long!!!!  I love the waterpark!!! Did I tell you that?  I’m sooo wired!  I don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight!  That was amazing!!!  I want to do that again!!!  Maybe someday I’ll do Rachmaninoff’s third concerto!!! Wouldn’t that be amazing?

It would.  It’s also well past my skill level right now.  Well past my skill level.  But, maybe Grieg???  We’ll see if they want me to come back next year.

OMG what a day!  What a wonderful, amazing day!!!!  But I think the best thing was how everyone was proud of me!!!

Love you all!!!! ❤

… u,mmm…  someone just knocked on the door.  It was a soldier, with a note.  They always look a little uncomfortable to be doing courier duty, but I didn’t ask them to!!!

MY “BENEFACTOR” WAS THERE!!!!!

OMG!!!!!!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And today was soooo much fun!!!

Well, first the boring stuff.  We went to church, you know, the usual, and people were still congratulating me on my performance!  I know I said half the church was there, but it was actually true.  It turns out that I about half filled the auditorium!!! (And the orchestra probably filled the other half).  They got a video of it that they’re going to put on YouTube, and apparently there was a newspaper article too someone handed me.  The reviewer said that while I was young and my musicality is not mature, that it was an enjoyable performance and I have a bright future ahead of me!!!

Thankfully, the pastor didn’t embarrass me.  He did do a sermon on “making a joyful noise”, and I wonder if he was picking on me.  Aw heck, he probably was.

And then we all went to the waterpark!!!  My family (minus David, who, by some miracle, is still at camp), Liz, Crystal, Diana, Allison, Jack and Grace, and Robert and Rebecca too!  They hadn’t really planned to, so she didn’t bring her swimsuit, but thankfully she’s about Beth’s size, so she borrowed one of Beth’s.  Thankfully also because it covers a lot more than one she would have brought.  Anyway, I missed the waterpark!  We had all sorts of fun, splashing and racing and they even have zip lines!!!  Rebecca has some lungs on her!!!

Rebecca can’t spend more than a weekend in Texas, she left tonight, but she remarked how humid and flat it is, but thought the people were nice.  I guess she’s right!  She’ll come back at some point.  I guess Yu’s a little jealous.  Britni doesn’t know where Texas is…

So… next, I guess I need to work with Liz now for her recital (she gets all the attention in that one!), and when david gets back from camp it’s time to get ready to go to Japan!!!  Yayyy!!!!  Oh, and Katie’s in her third trimester, so she’s due in a couple of months.  She’s doing fine.  Dooting as usual, she comes over for dinner every now and then, and she’s really showing now!!!

Okay.. I’m exhausted.  I’m glad school’s over – I might sleep in tomorrow!

I haven’t forgotten about the bombshell I got last night.  I haven’t really thought about it much. I’ll probably talk about that when things are a bit less hectic.  Plus it was kind of a shock…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And today was pretty quiet!  Thankfully!!!

It was a really eventful weekend!!!

Rebecca flew back out last night, she had a pretty good time, but it wasn’t really a vacation, they just wanted to see my concert.  Rebecca and her friends were actually pretty impressed, they know a lot of really wealthy and even famous people, and no one who’s done that.  A lot of other cool stuff, of course, but not that.

So I guess the elephant in the room (Dave loves that saying, right up there with saying he wants to doubleclick into things – aww) is the fact that my “benefactor” was there and I didn’t even know it!!!  It might have been the person who gave me a hug, and maybe not.  At least it was a public event so it wasn’t creepy or anything, but…  I mean they flew down here to Round Rock just to see me play?  I wonder if they flew to Fort Hood – I mean Cavazos (they renamed it for some stupid reason), but…

A part of me wonders why they have such an interest in me that they spend taxpayer money to send couriers and stuff.  Isn’t the postal service good enough?  it seems like every time they communicate with me it’s in a kind of odd way.  Like the other night when the military guy knocked at my door.  They never look comfortable being postmen or a cookie delivery service.  But like I said, I didn’t ask them to!

I wonder if “benefactor” is the right word.  I mean, they do that, yes.  But…  there’s a little more there than just me being me would warrant.  Don’t you think?

They said something about owing me a great debt.  And Beth’s mentor seems to think there was something top secret going on.  Putting the pieces together…  I don’t think I’ll put the pieces together.

Speaking of Beth’s mentor, she’s been learning a lot.  Like where the best coffee is on campus, how to write grant papers, how to suck up to professors… haha!  Well…  I don’t think that’s what she had in mind, but I guess those are good skills if you want to go into academia, right?  But they also have her doing experiments.  She hasn’t discovered anything yet, but they promise if she is really helpful they’ll put her name on a scientific paper.  That would be a big deal.

They told her not to expect to discover anything for many, many years.

And David’s still at camp.  They’re keeping a very close eye on him.  He still gets to spend time with his “girlfriend”, but the “dates” are supervised, and there is no lip to lip contact allowed ever again.  But lip to cheek contact is allowed under very controlled circumstances, and she’s been taking full advantage.  Sigh.  Little player.

Okay, I’m tired.  Going to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

So things are quiet.  Last night I didn’t post because we decided to have a game night, plus I’ve been thinking a little.  Well, I’ve been thinking a lot.  You know me, I’m not really a thinky girl.  Not like Beth.  Beth’s the thinkiest girl I know, and sometimes I think it makes her miserable.  I’m happy not being thinky!  Except… sometimes, I’m thinky anyway.  Maybe that just comes with being human.

It’s funny how I’ve done so many things that most people don’t get to do.  I’m part owner of a business, and a reasonably successful one too (even though Sabby does more of the management stuff and I just do what I can).  I’ve been to the Oscars and even got on television (very briefly!).  I’ve been interviewed for local news.  I get to do all this amazing stuff, and…  and it really doesn’t change a whole lot, does it?  Like on Saturday, I had a pretty amazing concert.  It went so well, I played in front of a lot of people, many of them strangers, it was fun and I had a great time and I’ll remember it for the rest of my life (hopefully, I know more than most how transient memories can be), and I woke up the next morning, and nothing had really changed.  Everything changed around me, but I was still Lily.  Lily, the gullible, goofy, slightly insecure half-Japanese seventeen year old girl.  On Friday I was the same as I was on Sunday, and what happened on Saturday had nothing to do with either.

Is that how it’s going to be for the rest of my life?  Will I always be chasing after one thing and then the next thing and then the next thing after that, and after each one nothing will be different except I have something else to chase?

How will I ever know when I’ve actually found something?

When can you actually sit back and say “I’ve done what I came here for?”  Can you ever?

I have so many fun things coming up.  I’m going to Japan again with the family, maybe more concerts, college is coming up? Or not?

Life is full of questions, but are there ever really any answers?  Or does every answer just lead to more questions?  Does every accomplishment just lead to more goals?

Why am I here?

It can’t just be to consume chocolate.

Though…  that’s not a terrible reason for being, I guess.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

So today Liz and I practiced her song,  We spent some time practicing, then we went to her teacher and did a lesson there.  It’s cool seeing how she studies, it’s a little bit different from me, but she’s still pretty good.  The teacher said she saw my performance and thought I did pretty well.

Her recital is in a couple of weeks or so, but that should be plenty of time, we both know what we’re doing.

It’s funny – when Liz and I became friends, I didn’t even know I could play, and now we’re playing together like we did for most of our lives!

Anyway, after her lesson, we wandered around the mall for a little while and just chatted.  Liz and I haven’t spent enough time together lately.  I’ve been so busy with my concert, and the business, and school, and all the other things.  It’s nice to just spend a little time with her for once.

She’s doing pretty well with her boyfriend, I guess he’s treating her pretty well.  They have minor arguments every now and then but he isn’t mean about it, and they seem to work it out eventually.  She isn’t as…  close to him as I am to Jack, but they do a lot of kissing and light touching, and she seems pretty happy with that.  I told her it’s probably better that way.  She sighed and said she wonders what it’s like sometimes, but…  she saw how distressed I was and maybe it’s better.  He hasn’t pressured her at all, unlike her last one, so that’s a bonus.  I don’t want to have to piledrive him.  Or whatever the martial arts equivalent is.

I think he’s good for her.  She seems happy.

It did storm a little this afternoon, and that was nice.  It’s starting to get hot, so we need the rain.  You know how it is in central Texas this time of year.

Oh I need to tell you what cat-girl did but maybe some other time.  That girl…

Okay…  I guess it’s bedtime.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s Friday!!!

So today was pretty quiet.  I like quiet days.  I just went for my run, took Marie for a walk (she loves to walk), and otherwise just kinda puttered around the house and didn’t do anything too interesting.  Sabby still wants me to do useful stuff, so after a slow morning I poked at the computer and learned some stuff.  I’ve wondered how to code, so I downloaded an…. what do they call it.. IDE and I’m playing around with coding.  Maybe I’ll write an app!  But…  but it is complicated.  Maybe I’ll start slow.  I dunno.  It’s probably not something I’ll put a whole lot of effort into, but these are good things to know.  Right?

It’s a lot of typing.  I’m not the fastest typist.  Maybe I should learn.

I also had some Japanese to study (I’m still studying that), and piano to practice (I’m going to need to keep my chops up and keep doing lessons even if I don’t have a concert to do), and some other projects as well, so… it was a quiet day, but full of stuff to do.  Maybe that makes sense!  I also dropped by the shop and gave everyone their checks!  Always a happy day when people get paid, right?

Anyway, it’s a girl’s night tonight.  Crystal, Diana, and Liz are over and we’re playing games and eating chocolate.  Well, I’m eating chocolate.  They’re fighting over the scraps.  Hahaha!!!  But there’s lots of snacks and we’re just having a good time chatting and doing random stuff.  Crystal seems a little… distant, though.  Maybe I should ask her what’s going on.  It’s not the you-know-what kind of distant, she just seems… a little off.

Mostly she’s a lot better, btw.  I haven’t said much about her, but she seems to be doing okay.  Everyone’s paying a lot closer attention to her, and that both seems to annoy and comfort her, so…  and she’s usually, well, if not cheerful, at least pretty stable.  So…  yeah.  Guess we should ask.

Well, it’s bedtime, and we’re making a girl-pile tonight, so…  time for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t post last night.  Bad me.  I’ve actually been a little worse about that lately.  Aww.  I guess I’ve just been so busy it slips my mind sometimes.  Oh well.  It happens I guess.

It’s getting hot!  Texas summer hot!  Hotly hot!  Well… that doesn’t work as well.

But yesterday there was a lot to do!!!

Liz and I practiced a lot – shse’s pretty good too!!! I mean I knew that, but she could probably do the Tchaikovsky violin concerto.  I told her that, and she said “you really think so?”  I do, she’s pretty good, and if I can do Schumann, she can do Tchaikovsky.  I could see the gears turning over in her head, but we kept working on what we were working on.  Her recital is pretty soon anyway, so doesn’t do to get distracted.

Beth’s really not doing well – she got dumped by her boy friend last night.  She thought they were going on a date, but he just ended it.  Poor Beth.  She was crying and that’s one reason I didn’t post last night, we had a girl’s night, just her and me.  She was so sad.  She just ate ice cream and sobbed.

I told her there will be other boys and she’s smart and beautiful and will have no problem attracting a nice boy.

“But I wanted that one!”, she said, and wailed some more.

Awwwww.

Jack and I were going to go on a date, but I postponed it.  Instead he came over with a heap of chocolate.  Bless him (and not in the “bless your heart” way some southern people talk – really, bless him.)  He gave Beth a big hug and told her it’s his loss.

That made her cry again and he just held her a little.  Awww.  I knew he’s not interested in her, he was treating her like a little sister, and that’s just the best thing!

He didn’t want to stick around for the girls’ night – he said “it’s a girls’ night and I’m not a girl” – he’s right, but still.  But the chocolate more than made up for anything!!!

Anyway, we ate most of the chocolate, and then I crawled in with her and just held her all night.  She would wake up and sniffle and go back to sleep, and wake up and sniffle some more and go back to sleep.  Aww.  I hope Jack never does that to me.  I don’t ever want to hurt that bad.

She seemed to do a little better this morning.  We went to church, and she was so downcast.  But the chocolate pancakes after helped her a little.  They always help me.

Jack and I went on our date this afternoon.  We didn’t get any “alone time”, but we did go to the mall, and walked around holding hands and window shopping.  It was fun.. He bought me a cinnabon.  It’s not chocolate, but too much chocolate is bad for you,, as good as it is, so that worked fine.

It’s sooo hot outside.

Anyway, that’s the weekend.  Poor Beth, but I’m sure she’ll recover and find another boy she likes.  She’s so pretty and smart, I’m sure she’s already got some interest.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Poor Beth.

She’s doing a little better today, but she’s still kinda heartbroken.  It turns out that he dumped her because, well, he wanted something from her that she wasn’t ready to give him.  So he just tossed her aside for someone that would.  Aww.  Boys suck sometimes.

Jack’s really good about that, but remember the guy I put in jail a couple of years ago for grabbing at my floppy bits?

And remember Crystal?  And LIz?

And…  well.  Probably pretty much every guy cat-girl’s ever seen.

I told her she’s sixteen, there are lots of boys out there, and she’ll find one that treats her better.  And I also told her that when she finds one that treats her well, she won’t miss him at all.

Otherwise, more practice with Liz today, and it’s HOT.  But it’s going to be hot for a while now.  I run early in the morning and even then I’m a ball of sweat when I get home!  Awww!!!

Oh well.  Summer in Texas.

Okay.  Pretty boringly boring day, I guess.  Just practice and feeding Beth chocolate and surviving a Monday!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s Wootday!!!

I mean Tuesday.

But Wootday sounds better, don’t you think???

Welll. it does to me, anyway.

I really feel bad for Beth.  She’s just moping around now.  She’s all cried out, but she doesn’t think anyone will ever want her again, and I told her that’s just objectively stupid.  She’s smart and pretty and pretty nice once you get to know her, what’s not to love???  But she’s not listening right now.  I guess I understand.  Girl’s hurt.  I almost want to go find that boy and karate kung-fu tai kwon do MMA him, but that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Sabby took her for a girl’s day out and she she seemed a little better when she got home, but she’s still really hurt.

I’m about to feed her some more chocolate, brush her hair, and be her teddy bear again,.  She told me last night that she didn’t know what sh’ed do without me, and started crying again.  Awww.

It’s nice having a sister.

I get told that a lot, actually. Liz says that sometimes too.

So…  since it’s quiet, maybe I’ll just talk about some other stuff.  David’s still at camp, and he’s mostly staying out of trouble.  They took him on another pig hunt and he was quiet a bit less successful, but his girlfriend is sticking with him anyway – ummm…  girl is like eleven, and she’s showing quite a bit of loyalty.  I mean, she was actually willing to share him with another girl (stupid, but loyal), and that’s, umm… in some ways pretty mature of her.  It’s kind of cute in its own way.  He seems to be having a better time this year, I guess he knows what to expect, he’s got his girlfriend, and he’s pretty happy going out and hunting pigs and what-not.  They did catch a couple, and well, they’re eating a bunch of pork stuff.  Hey, something to be said for catching your own food, right?  I don’t really like hunting, but I like eating!!!

I mentioned a couple of days ago how Crystal seemed distant.  Turns out she was a little jealous.  She hasn’t always had the best opportunities, and she seems to feel really upset that she lost so much time being homeless.  And here I am, playing concertos with an orchestra.  I talked to Sabby about it, but otherwise, I don’t know what to do.  It just is what it is.  Maybe we can find her something to do at the shop when she’s old enough.

Jack still doesn’t really know what he wants to do, but his family is kind of pushing him now.  His parents aren’t like the “Tiger Mom” you hear about, but they want him to be successful at something, and he’s just been pushing carts at the store and dooting and… seems a little rudderless sometimes.  He’s not very driven.  But if he’s going to be a father to my kids someday he’s going to have to figure something out.  I love the boy, but his parents aren’t wrong.

I asked him what he likes to do.  And after I stopped blushing (dang him!!) I asked him what he likes to do besides that, and he said he really doesn’t know.

Well…  I guess we need to find out, right?  I’ll support him in whatever he wants to do, as long as it’s something.

And finally…  I teased you a few days ago about something cat-girl did…

I’m tired!!! And Beth needs her teddy bear!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hahaha!!! I’ll tell you soon! I promise!