Series: 09 - March 2022

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

And I’m so EMBARRASSED!!!!

So last night I “snuck” into Jack’s room and we snuggled up.  Well, I fell asleep, and we didn’t wake up until it was time to wake up!!!  I mean, I slept sooo good (It was like a girl-pile that smelled like boy) but I didn’t know what had happened until I woke up and saw Jack’s mother staring at the two of us, tapping her foot.  She just said “breakfast is ready”, and turned on her heel and went downstairs.

We quietly ate breakfast, and then had to face the music.  “Jack,” his father said, “we expected just a little more out of you.  And Lily…  I know we said that we don’t mind if you snuggle a little at night, but…  that’s too much.”

I lowered my head.  They were right.  We didn’t do anything they didn’t want us to, but still.  It was too much.

“We know you’re both teenagers and are in love,” his mother said meaningfully, “and we support your relationship, but Lily, I want to see you in your own bed in the morning.  And Jack…  well, you know.  Don’t you dare disappoint me.”

“Yes, mom,” he said quietly, and then I went off to take a shower, and he sulked off to his room.

I sighed as I was taking my shower.  They were right.  They were too right.  It would be too easy to… make a mistake.

Anyway, after we took our showers, we had something of a lazy morning.  Jack and I talked a lot, about important and not important things.  Grace wanted to play, so we played with her.  In the afternoon, the temperature got up to 45, so we went outside and played in the yard.  Grace has sooo much energy!!!  Ohio is so nice in the spring!!!  All the snow is melting!!!  the three of us even took a walk to the park and we pushed Grace on the swing!!!  All the kids were out because it was “warm”!!!

A couple of Jack’s better friends came over for dinner, Kevin and Kaeli. I would have been jealous, but it was clear that Kaeli had the hots for Kevin, although he seemed oblivious to that, as boys tend to be.  They seemed nice enough.  They told a couple of embarrassing stories, but it was mostly about what other kids at his school did, and he was right… he wasn’t treated all that well.  I guess things are getting better, though.  Sigh.

I guess it’s bedtime.  I’m still going to cuddle with Jack, but there’s no way we’re having that talk again tomorrow.  That was embarrassing.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

Today we went up to see Lake Erie!!!

This morning after breakfast we all piled into the car and headed north!!!  We went up a few roads for a couple of hours and ended up in a small town called Sandusky!!! They would have taken me to Cedar Point, but it’s closed.  BOOOO.  Maybe next time.  But there were lots of fun things to do!!!  We went to a park next to the lake – it’s still a little icy, but soo pretty!!!  Then we went to the beach, but there wasn’t much to do, because it was still kinda cold.  Then we had lunch at a nice restaurant.  Jack and I held hands and walked along the beach!!!  And Grace was trying to throw sand at us!!!  Killjoy!!!

Then we went to bay view and… well… viewed the bay!!!

We headed home in the afternoon, and Grace was sooo tired, she conked out in the car and slept all the way home.  When we got home, Jack’s mother made dinner!!! It was so good!!!   Then Jack and I cuddled on the couch and watched a movie!!!  I love him!!!

I’m going to bed soon.  I might make a YouTube tomorrow or so, but it’s a little harder because I don’t have my big computer.  But I’ll deal.  It’s warming up, too.  No more freezing days!!!  I can go for a run tomorrow morning!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

I made a YouTube tonight, and you know what?  I won’t make a habit of it, but I think this YouTube will make a great diary entry for today!!!  So here it is!!!  Jack took me on a second date today, but I’ll write about that tomorrow!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I promised I would tell about my date with Jack yesterday!!!

OH MY GOD HE IS PERFECT!!!!! Do you know what he did?  Do you know what that silly billy did?

HE TOOK ME ON A CHOCOLATE TOUR OF COLUMBUS!!!!!

He found five chocolatiers, one after another, and he took me there and told me I get to pick whatever I want!!!  I chose some of the most decadent, most chocolatey things, and then the next one was even better, and finally the last one, in Grandview Heights, was the highest rated in the area!!!  It smelled chocolatey!!!  There was chocolate everywhere!!!  Oh my God, he got such a big kiss from me for that!!!!  And I bet my kisses tasted like chocolate too!!!

And you know what the worst thing is?  There are chocolatiers in Texas!!! Near where I live!!! And it never even occurred to me.  I love chocolate sooo much, and it never occurred to me to go to a place that specialized in chocolate!!!  Jack came up with the best idea he could possibly have come up with for a date!!!  Then after all that he took me to a steakhouse and we ate a steak!!! It was delicious!!! And for dessert was chocolate cheesecake!!!

I swear I am going to marry that boy.  I swear.  I’m going to marry that boy, and at the wedding will be a chocolate fountain and chocolate cake and chocolate… well, we won’t talk about that, but he’ll like it!!!  He doesn’t like chocolate as much as I do, but that’s okay.  Not many people do!  In fact, I’m not sure what he really likes.

I guess boys aren’t quite the same as girls in that regard, right?  As Babymetal says in onedari saisakusen, We like pretty things!  We like shiny things!  We like delicious things!  kirakiramono daisuki! kawaiimono daisuki!  oishiimono daisuki!!!!

And boys, well… like us.

It’s a fair trade.

GIMME CHOCO!!!!!!!

Ohhhhhh…. he got thanked.  He got soooooooo thanked.

Anyway, today was a little less exciting, though I still have some chocolate.  I shared a little – juuuuust a little – with Grace, and she loved it.  I gotta be careful, or I’ll spoil her, and then she won’t want normal chocolate.  Not that she’s allowed much of it anyway.  Girl bounces off the walls.  But we played legos and dolls and it’s warm out now, so we went to the park and pushed her on the swing and ran around with her…  she had soooo much fun!  I hope someday I have a little girl like her!!!

If the adults can stop being stupid, anyway.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

It’s ST. PATRICK’S DAY!!!

I have no idea what St. Patrick’s Day is.  Apparently people wear green, pinch each other, and drink green beer.  For some reason.

I fly back home tomorrow.  Aww.   It’s been so nice being here with Jack and Grace and his family/  Today he took me to his work to see his coworkers!!  They were sooo nice!!!  Except this one girl who I think was jealous.  Oh well. Jack’s MINE.  And she knows it.  It was just like the grocery stores here, but with different colors and brands.  One of his coworkers just stared at me.  It was… a bit creepy.  Jack told me he’s not the greatest in the people department.  Aww.

We went on another date, but I don’t know how Jack is going to top the last one!  I mean a chocolate tour of Columbus!! Really!!!  So he took me to German Village.  They have lots of fun stuff to do.  But you know what they have?

A FUDGERY!!!!

OH MY GOD THE SILLY BILLY TOPPED IT!!!!

Can we just get married now?????

Anyway, he stuffed me full of fudge (you know what I mean, silly billies) and then we walked around the village to see all the sights and do all the stuff!!!! It was fun!!!  We had dinner and came back home!!!  And here I am!!! Writing a diary!!!

I’ll miss him!!! But we’ll meet again!!! We have summer!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I’m home!!!

And I’m a little sad.

I had such a great time in Ohio!  Jack’s parents treated me like family!  Grace is the best little (very little, as opposed to little like Beth) sister a girl could want!  And Jack… I love him!!! He fed me chocolate!! A lot of chocolate!!

But still, I’m happy to be home.

Sabby gave me a big hug and didn’t even talk to me about Jack!!!  And I gave the family some chocolate I – with great effort – saved for them from the chocolate tour.  And i went up to my room, and i cried a little.

I miss Jack.  More than ever.

But I know I’ll see him again.

I love him.  I hope he knows that.  I love him with all my heart.

Love you all too!!! ❤️

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!!!

Sad Lily today.

I loved going to Ohio, and I loved spending time with Jack.  I loved that time we spent on the shores of Lake Erie, i love that he took me to all those chocolate places, I just..   I just loved spending time with him and his family.  And I miss Grace too.  She’s just a little girl who wormed her way into my heart and gripped on tight with her tiny fingers.  I love how she’d bounce off the wall if you gave her chocolate, or conked out like a light in the car on the way back from Sandusky, or giggled when you’d play dolls with her.  I love Beth and Crystal and Liz, but it’s not the same kind of thing.  I think I want a kid someday.  I want several kids.  I want little ones that bounce all over the place and play with dolls (or sticks and stones) and I want to see them run to Jack when he comes home from work and…  and…  sigh.

I miss them.

I wish everyone was all in the same place.  One big happy family.  But that’s not how it works.  And now with fuel prices increasing it might be harder to see each other.  I don’t know what to do!!!

I knew long distance would be difficult.  But I don’t think I really understood how it would be difficult.  It’s not so hard being without him – but it’s hard being with him.  I just..  hate leaving.

Oh well.  At least Beth and I are back to brushing each others’ hair.  Though…  though last night there were a few tears too.

I am sooo glad I set boundaries with Jack.  I…  I don’t know how I would feel if we crossed them.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

You know I say that every day… and even on the YouTubes.  It’s become kind of like my catchphrase.  And… it’s me!

I’m still sad today.  Maybe even a little depressed.  I had such a good time in Ohio.  It’s not like we did anything hugely amazing, like in Orlando.  We didn’t go to a theme park, or anything like that – I don’t even think there was one open in Ohio.  Jack was telling me about a lot that used to exist, and they closed.  Aww.  But Jack was there, and he’s like my other family now.

After I got home from work yesterday, Sabby just kind of took me in her arms and soothed me.  It was sooo nice of her.  I was sooo sad.  After I cried it out a bit, she told me she wasn’t going to lecture me, I was learning my own lessons.  But that she’d always be my mother.

Oh God I cried again.

I talked to Jack too, after I wrote last night’s entry.  It was…  nice.  Different, somehow.  It’s like he’s become a part of me.  Sigh.  I guess this is the life I chose – or the life that chose me, and I just have to deal with it.  I love him.  I love him soooo much.  I can’t imagine being without him now.  But I have to, for at least a while longer.

But I’m such a lucky girl, y’know?  I have sooo much family.  So many people who love me.  So many people that I love.  I have a boyfriend, lots of sisters, two mothers… well, three, if you count Jack’s mother.  She’s not a mother in law yet but she could be!  I…  I’m just a lucky girl.  Even though it’s hard, I’ve never forgotten that.

After work today, Sabby took me out for chocolate.  Just me and her.  We talked.  A lot.  She has accepted that I’m growing up now, and she’s treating me more like an adult than a teenager.  I love her soooo much.  I think having her is almost worth losing my memory.

Almost.

I did ask her why she doesn’t seem to want me to model.

“Lily,” she said, “You are a beautiful young woman.  You almost certainly could model if you wanted to.  Your body type is in high demand.  But…  do you really want to go through a large part of your life only being seen for your body, and then being discarded when it stops being as beautiful?  Beauty fades, Lily.  If you were to just model to make a few extra bucks to do what what you really wanted, well, okay.  Maybe you could even make a lot of money at it.  But don’t forget who you are, Lily, and make sure you value who you are, and not what you look like.  okay?”

I thought for a bit.  I think I understand what she’s trying to tell me.  Maybe I could make some money modelling.  But if that’s all I am… than that’s all I will be.  Ever.  And… and I have plenty of money right now.  I don’t have to do it if it’s not something I really want to do.  Do I really want to do it?

I don’t know.  But she’s right.  That’s not a good career for me.

School starts again tomorrow.  Life goes on.  And I will see Jack again.  I know it.

Love you all!!! ❤