Category: Diary

This diary entry is part 12 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So I have news.

Last night, Sabby did her mother thing.  I guess she heard me crying, because she came in and let me cry on her chest.  It is so nice when she does that.  She’s so comforting.  We talked for a little while – I don’t know if she really understood what was bothering me, but she listened anyway.

So today I talked to a bunch of people.  First I talked to Robert, and made sure there was enough room for a couple more people.  Then I talked to Crystal’s parents.  I invited Crystal to Japan with us.

They were really…  not cool with the idea to begin with.  She’s supposed to be grounded.  She’s going to be rewarded with a trip?  But I said it wasn’t going to be like that.  It wasn’t supposed to be a reward, it was supposed to me a…  I couldn’t really find the right word.  She’s had a hard life, especially recently, and I thought it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to kind of make that up to her.

It took a bit, but I think they understood.  They said they can’t afford it.  I said I’d front them for the ticket, because after all it’s a charter flight and there’s plenty of room.  They just have to pay for her food and incidentals.  But, I said, the flight leaves sooner than later, so they’d better get her an expedited passport.

They still didn’t seem 100% happy with it, but I think they saw things from my point of view, and decided it would be a good experience for her.

I made the same offer to Diana as well, I didn’t want her to feel left out.  She already has a passport so that’s not as big an issue.

Sabby was a little upset with me, but I told her that I couldn’t think of a better use for a relatively small amount of money, and I trusted them to pay me back.  She agreed, but said she would front the tickets.  After all, the business is doing well enough that she can take a little profit out.

So, Crystal and Diana are coming along.

I think it’s the right thing to do.

No one else is, though.  I really want to take Jack, but his parents really don’t want him going overseas with me (and if you think about it, you’ll know why) and I have a very specific reason for wanting to bring Crystal along.

I got a chance to talk to Crystal too, to tell her the news.  She was still pretty upset with me but she also seemed oddly relieved – I think she got in over her head and she’s mostly too proud to admit it.  Then when I told her she’s going to Japan with us all the anger melted away,, and she squealed and hugged me.  Her parents told her that they thought it would be a good experience.

So…. that’s nineteen people in our little tour group.

Allison’s moving into her new house next weekend!  I’m going to help her family move – Japan is in a couple of weeks, so plenty of time.

I’m continuing to study Japanese too!!!  I’ll be even better this year!!!

Sabby and I have to send Robert a lot of money to pay for our seats and hotel…  but it’s worth it!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 11 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Life’s not fair.

Life’s really not fair.

Oh, I’m not saying it’s not fair to me.  It might not be, but I’ve got a pretty good life.  Something took all my memories, but now I have a good life.  Maybe that’s a fair trade.  But what’s fair for, say, Crystal?  Poor girl didn’t have a choice.  Her parents fell on hard times, they ended up in a shelter, she got, well, assaulted, and maybe none of that would have happened if she hadn’t been in the shelter.  But she was fourteen.  What could she do about it?  Run away and find herself in an even worse position?  It’s not her fault!

But she has to suffer for it.  And I think she is suffering.  She’s not talking to me, but when I heard about the kind of guy her “boyfriend” was…  there’s only two options there.  Either she was with him voluntarily and put up with his abuse, or she wasn’t and got dealt another bad card.

She just gets dealt bad cards all the time.

And what can we do about it?  Maybe her parents can do something… and maybe not!  Sometimes when she’s over you can see it in her eyes…  the hauntedness.  If that’s a word.  You can see the scared little girl.  And then it gets covered up with a dirty joke or…  or something else.  I mean, she’s nice, and she wouldn’t ever hurt anyone… but you can see it.

I wonder if people ever see that in my eyes.

I see it in Jack’s eyes sometimes.

I even sometimes see it in Sabby’s eyes.

Life’s not fair.

And even if I got a pretty good deal… for every me, there’s a Crystal.

Life’s still not fair.

I think I might go stare at a wall for a while before I go to sleep.  Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll cry a little.  Or… or a lot.

This diary entry is part 10 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Boy, Crystal sure can pick ’em.

So her parents confronted the “boyfriend”, and he got possessive and…  started threatening.  The police were called, and, well… looks like someone’s going to prison.

Apparently, he’s kind of abusive.

I’m not sure Crystal’s making good choices.

Sigh.

You know, other than a couple of Karens and a couple of stupid guys, I’ve been pretty lucky.  But there are some awful guys out there.  I wonder why she’s acting out, or whatever she’s doing.

I don’t really think I want to post any more tonight.  This is depressing.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 9 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And I screwed up!!!  But maybe I didn’t!!!  I don’t know!!!

So you know how Sabby reads this diary?  She read what I wrote about Crystal last night (which wasn’t anything really bad) and then she called Crystal’s parents and told them, and…  well…  her “boyfriend” is old.

I mean, really old.

Like, Dave old.

She’s fifteen.

Ummm…   I feel bad.  I didn’t mean to get her in trouble.  But… she kind of got herself in trouble.  So apparently they’re grilling her pretty hard to find out if he did anything that would need, well… police.  But that’s the kind of secret that shouldn’t be kept, right?

Right?

Crystal’s kind of mad at me.  But she’s a lot less mad at me than I’d have expected her to be.  She texted me and cussed and swore a little and told me I betrayed her…  but then she said “thank you” and I haven’t heard from her since.

Aww.

I keep forgetting that people I know actually read this.  That’s my bad.  But how can I tell you my story if I don’t tell you what’s happening?  I don’t know.  I don’t know how to answer that.  Especially when I don’t know what’s going to cause trouble!  I didn’t know what kind of trouble that would cause!!!

Crystal’s a good girl that’s been dealt a very bad hand.  Remember last year when she tried to… what do they call it now…. unalive herself?  She failed, thankfully, and she got help, but she’s still got issues and I’m not sure if she’ll ever entirely resolve them.  And I don’t know what to do to help.  I wish Crystal knew we’re all on her side.  Even her parents.  They seem like okay people who’ve had some really hard times and maybe made some bad decisions.  But they want what’s best for her too.  They still blame themselves for what happened to Crystal at the shelter.  And… and maybe they should.  But you can’t change the past.  You can only move on.  And Crystal will have to live with it for the rest of her life.

She doesn’t seem to resent them, though.  Would I?  Maybe.  Maybe I would.

I’m not sure she’ll be coming over for a while.  If not because she won’t want to see me, because she’ll probably be grounded until she’s her “boyfriend”‘s age.

Ewww.

I mean, Dave’s nice, but someone his age?  Eww.

That’d be like me and that “Texan Tinkerer” guy.  He’s smart and nice and has always treated me well, but…  but EWWW.

Oh well.  It’ll blow over.  Or it won’t.  What’s done is done and hopefully it will turn out for the best.

Love you all!!! ❤

Even you Crystal!  Don’t hate me forever!!!

This diary entry is part 8 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s was a nice, quiet day today.  We went to church this morning, and Katie came with us.  Oh, were the old ladies happy!  “When are you due?” was a question that was asked a lot.  She’s not really into religion, but I told her that’s okay, neither am I, but they really do support their own.  And she told us after that she kind of felt that.  I asked her if she wanted to find another boyfriend… she just looked down at her stomach and said “who’d want me?”

Someone will.  I know someone will.

Beth is pretty much back to normal now.  So that’s good.  Turns out Crystal has a boyfriend too, but she’s not telling us much about him.  I wonder why.  I’m not sure her parents know, and I’ve got a bad feeling about it.  But not really my business, is it?

Diana’s not interested in boyfriends, though.  She’s just kind of humming along, making tacos.  When she gets old enough we might hire her at the shop to make tacos.  I bet she’d like that.

Sus tacos son muy deliciosos!!!

Con o sin carne!!!

Hahaha!!!

So this afternoon was just quiet.  Sabby went on a cleaning binge, and I had to clean my room a bit too, but it wasn’t too bad.  I keep it pretty clean.  Marie’s kennel needed a bit of a clean though.  I think Marie likes it when she has fresh bedding, she went right in and plopped down.  To us it’s a cage, to her it’s home.  Funny how that works, isn’t it?

But as she’s grown up, she’s allowed more to sleep on my bed with me, and sometimes I’ll wake up with a dog sprawled on my chest, and sometimes Cat joins in the fun and is sprawled over my head.  It’s cute but really annoying.

I want a hamster someday, but not as long as cat’s here.  Hamsters are pets, not lunch.  Those pics of hamsters on twitter are so cute though!!!

So this week, I guess we’re preparing to to go Japan.  It’s coming up soon!!!  I can’t wait!! And Ai can’t wait either!!!

I want to eat konbini snacks!!!  Japan has the best chocolate!!!

Okay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 7 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Subscriber only content in this post.  You know the drill.

And Katie’s baby shower was today!!!

I’m…  actually a bit confused, if I’m being honest.

So all the girls from the shop, and Sabby and Beth and I, and a few other folks showed up, and we all had gifts…  and truthfully, I think the gifts were the whole point.  She got cribs, and bottles, and diapers, and all sorts of stuff you’d need for a baby.  And there were games, like “pin the tail on the baby” (not a real baby) and some other games that required a lot of squealing women to play.  Katie seemed a little down, though.  I waited for a quiet time when all the girls were stuffing their faces with cake and asked her what’s wrong.

She sniffled a bit…  “It’s all becoming real now”, she said.  “I’ve been pregnant, but…  soon I’ll have an actual baby.  And…  and I don’t think I’ll be a good mother.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“Because I don’t have a good job or a degree or even a boyfriend, and I can’t really afford to have a baby.  I don’t know what I’m going to do,” she sniffed.

I gave her a hug.  “You’ve got us,” I said.  “We’re not going to let you fail.”

She gave me a big hug and I could feel her sobbing against me.  Aww.  But then she wiped her eyes, found a tissue, blew her nose, smiled wanly, and we went back out to get some cake ourselves.

I told Sabby what happened, and what I said.  She told Katie we’re not going to let her fail, and that’s a promise.  And more sniffles all around.

It’ll be hard.  Maybe we should try to find Katie a boyfriend.  One who likes babies.

It was a pretty fun time, though.  My ears were ringing from the squealing,  Dave went over to her apartment after and put the crib together for her.  That was nice of him.

I think Sabby’s gonna be doing some baby sitting.

Sigh… I think we’re all going to be doing some babysitting.

I have no idea what to do with a baby.

Well, I guess time to learn.

I think I’m going to talk to the pastor tomorrow.

Anyway, Jack and I had a date tonight, and it was fun.  I went over to his new house, and his parents had taken Grace to the kid’s pizza place.

OMG I missed him.  He, ummm…. did that thing with his tongue I love so much.  My body just gets so hot and it feels so good….  and after I helped him with his “little problem” too, taking all the precautions, of course.  I don’t want to end up like Katie.  But aftwards, when he just holds me close to him and runs his hands down my body… I don’t know if there’s anything that feels that good.  And when he tickles my floppy bits… OMG.  And then he finds my girly bits and rubs them so perfectly…  I lose myself in him.  Aww.  It feels like he sets me on wonderful, wonderful fire and the fire just comes right out my girly bits.  Soooooo, soo good.

I wonder so much how it would feel to have him moving around inside me.  I bet it feels even better than when he uses that buzzy thing he bought.  Shivers.  That never fails to get me going.  Hard.  I love him so much, but I can’t deny I also really love it when he just goes for it and makes me completely lose my mind with pleasure.  And each time he does, he learns a little more about how to make me scream.  And then I learn a little bit more about how to drag it out for him, you know, bringing him right to the edge and then slowing down and making him wait a little… he seems to absolutely adore that.

He loves doing that for me too.  He told me it makes him feel like a man.  Awww.  He’s my man.[/um_loggedout]

We watched a movie and had some dinner.  Lily decided to lay across both of us, it was really cute.  She’s a good dog.  Then his parents came home, and Grace wanted to play a game before bed.  So we played a game of “hungry hungry hippo” with her.  Such a strange game, but she loves it.  She had so much to tell me, and she did make some new friends!!!  Just like I told her!!!

Of course she did.  We all know, say it with me – everyone loves Grace.

And now I’m home, ready for bed, and I feel so relaxed.  I don’t spend enough time with Jack.. but maybe I spend just enough time with Jack for right now.  Oh, he got a new job!  I guess he could transfer to a different HEB!!!  He likes it there too.

His parents want to send him to a vocational camp.  I told him that’s a great idea.  He doesn’t seem enthused.  But he’ll be alright.

Japan’s coming up!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 6 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s Friday!!!

I’m over at Liz’s, and all the other girls are over at Diana’s.  I guess she wanted to make her famous tacos, and who’d turn that down??  Liz and I are just chatting and snacking and playing games.  We ordered a pizza and that didn’t last very long.  Haha!!!  Tomorrow is Katie’s baby shower, and Jack and I have a date tomorrow night, but tonight’s for Liz and me.

Funny thing happened at the shop today, we got an order to cater!  It was a pretty large order, but the thing is, they wanted cosplay girls to come and serve!!!  It’s a cosplay convention of some kind!!!  So we quoted them a high price and they paid it!!!  They’ll all wear maid outfits (you know, the sexy kind) for the event.  Sabby might have to as well.   She’s not really happy about that, but it was a lot of money.  She ordered her costume, but we’ll have to figure out where all the pieces go.

I promised Jack, so I’m not going to.

Skintight-girl would rather wear her EVA outfit, but she’ll take one for the team.  Anime girl, well, it’s not a bad fit, and basically…  they know what they need to do.  They’re fine with it.

Besides, we’re paying them a rather large bonus for going off site.  And they get to keep any tips.

I taught them how to say “irasshaimase, goshujinsama” so I’m sure they’ll do fine.

But we’re going to have to have a talk with cat-girl before the event – she’s representing us so she’d better behave herself!!!

Anyway, Liz wants to go to bed, and I’m kinda tired too.  She wants her big teddy bear,.  Aww.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 5 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Today was boring!!!

It was a bit cooler today, and there was some rain too, so that was nice.  My run this morning was actually a little pleasant!

Marie got a nice long walk too, and she liked that.  She likes walks but we can’t do much for her when it’s a hundred degrees.  Too hot even for a dog.

So we made a couple of changes at the shop.  Baker #1 became BOH manager (back of house), and Katie FOH (Front of House).  We thought that’d make sense because that way the baker can take over when Katie’s on leave!  It’ll work out!  The baker is a little motherly and everyone likes her.  She just wants to bake, but she doesn’t take anything from anyone, so she’ll make a pretty good manager.  Mostly though she jut stays in back and bakes, and manages the other baker, who bakes too.  She’s so good that Sabby even lets her tell her what to do, at least when it comes to what needs to get baked.  Sabby loves baking, but when someone’s that good at it, you listen to them, I guess.  Baker doesn’t mind if Sabby bakes, I mean after all, she came up with the recipes and she partly owns the place, but still…  generally, what baker says, goes.

It’s actually a bit of a circus in there sometimes, we have Katie and a couple of other servers (and Beth sometimes) doing light waitstaff stuff, the cosplayers running around getting pictures with people and doing light waitstaff stuff too, the bakers in back just baking up a storm, Sabby and sometimes me in the back ordering stuff, planning schedules, etc.. but everyone knows what their job is and we hired pretty well.  Business is kind of not great right now because of the economy, but we’re still doing okay.  Not in danger of closing or anything like that.  But our idea of expanding might need to wait for a while.

Anyway, I guess that’s what I talk about on boring days, right?  Haha!!!

Okay!! Bedtime, I guess!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 4 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I got Liz good!!!

Hahahaahaaaaa!!!!!!!

So the 4th was her birthday.  But I pretended like I forgot it!!!  I didn’t mention it on the third, and when she asked me if I was coming to her party, I said “what party?  Why are you having a party?”  And then when she told me it was her birthday, I acted frantic, like I’d completely forgotten!!!

She got mad at me.

I pretended like I had to scramble to buy her a gift, when I’d bought it last week before I got sick!!  Hahaha!!!  And it was a nice gift too!!!  She doesn’t really like expensive things, but she likes fashionable and pretty things, and…

She wasn’t really talking to me, and then I showed up at her party with the gift and told her I hadn’t forgotten, I was getting her back for last year!!!  It was a reverse surprise party!  Hahaha!!!  She gave me a hug and then smacked me.

Oww.

But she accepted the gift anyway.  And let me partake in the chocolate.  Hahaha!!!

She actually really liked the gift. I gave her a silver and rose gold BFF locket where I have the other half, and it has her name engraved on it and everything.  Not her English name – her Chinese name!!!  芷若 I think her lip quivered a little!!!

But I gave her a more practical gift too – some really expensive rosin for her violin bow.  She really loved that too!!!

Her parents got her a new violin – and not a cheap one either.  She was so happy!!!  And her boyfriend was there too!!!  He got her something old and Chinese from a thrift store!!!  She was surprisingly happy with it.  I guess you can find some really cool things at a thrift store if you look carefully.  It actually had a bit of value that even he didn’t know about.  He wins at gifts!  Haha!!!

After her party, we took her on the picnic with us, and we had lots of fun!!!  And the fireworks were so pretty!  I sat in Jack’s lap and watched the fireworks!!!  What a good day!!!  But I didn’t get back until late and just went to bed.

And today, well…  it was boringly boring.   The day after a holiday is always boring.  But it’s that much closer to the weekend, right?

We’re starting to prepare for our trip to Japan….  there’s just so much to do!! So much more than when it was just me!!!  Everyone had to get their passports in order, lots of chatter on the group chat…  of course Rebecca and her friends have to buy new clothes because of course they do!!!  Britni doesn’t really know much about Japan, but she’s looking forward to it too – she likes sushi and wants to try some from the source!  Hahaha!!!  Of course Chelsi wants to try surfing there.  We’ll… see how that works out, I guess.  I’m not sure there’s really anywhere in Japan that’s good for surfing.  But I guess we can look.  Yu….  she really seems desperate to know her heritage…  but I’m not sure she’s Japanese.  But I’m sure she’ll still find interesting stuff.

Her other friends are jealous but there’s not enough room for everyone.  Aww.  But she promised to bring them back fun stuff.

Anyway, not much more to say.  We still have to figure out what to do with Cat and Marie, but we’ll figure something out.  Maybe Allison can dogsit at her new house!!!  I bet she’d love to play with Lily all the time!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 3 of 28 in Lily's diary dated 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I wasn’t really paying much attention to the group chat, because I was sick.  But I checked in today, and my friends were fighting!!!  Awww!!!  So there was a supreme court decision on Friday.  Yu and Liz were really happy about it!  But Rebecca wasn’t so much!  Everyone else just watched the fireworks!  They were arguing and fighting and really upset with each other!!!

But they made up eventually.

Britni just kept asking what college was.

She’s gonna be loads of fun in Japan…

So anyway I got a bit back into the swing of things today.  I went over to the shop and spent some time there, to catch up with everyone.  Everyone was kappy to see me.  Katie’s really big now!  I guess we’re having her baby shower this weekend.  Aww.  It’ll be fun though, I guess.  I need to figure out something to get her.  I have no idea what, maybe I should ask Sabby.

I guess life goes on.

Independence day is tomorrow!!!! We’re going to go have a picnic and watch fireworks!  We went shopping tonight and picked up all sorts of food.  Yayyy!!!

It’ll be hot, though.  I need to dig out my sundress.  Jack’s coming too!  I need to dig out my really light sundress!!!  Hahaha!!!

Oh… it looks like Rebecca is moving to Texas, but in a couple of months.  Probably after we get back from Japan.  Probably not this area, but Texas is closer than California!!!  She’s already saying they can get an even nicer house!  A nicer house???  Wow!!!

Okay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤