This diary entry is part 31 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I met my birth father.

So, umm,., I was nervous all day.  I had school and homework and stuff but my heart wasn’t in it.  After I got home, I did something similar to what I did with Emiko, and dressed nicely – but this time I didn’t go for cute or pretty, I went for businesslike.  I wore a medium length pencil skirt, a nice blouse, you know, stuff I’d wear to a job interview.  Emiko needed to see I was doing well.  Robert needed to see that I was serious.

Sabby whipped up a nice meal, and around 5 PM, the doorbell rang.  I went to the door and opened it.  A man about Dave’s age or a little younger was at the door.  He was a nice enough looking older man, wearing nice clothes and what appeared to be a very expensive watch.  He wouldn’t have been out of place on a golf course or eating lunch after church in an Applebees.  He actually did look a little like me.  I have his ears.

“Lily?”, he said, sounding a little more uneasy than he looked.

I just nodded and beckoned him inside.  Sabby and Dave introduced themselves.

Sabby told him to have a seat, dinner would be ready soon.  Dave sat down with me, bless him.

“So…”, he said, blowing a breath out.  “I have a daughter.”

I nodded.  “I guess you do.”

He was quiet for a moment.  “I had absolutely no idea,” he said.  “None at all.  I…  All I could think about when I was that age was drinking and partying.  Your mother… your birth mother…  I’ll be honest, I don’t really remember her.”  He sighed.  “I wish I did.  I… I didn’t even respect her that much.”  He paused.  “I don’t blame her for not telling me.”

“If you had known”, I said, “I wouldn’t be even speaking to you right now.”

“And I wouldn’t blame you,” he said softly.  “After I left college, I married my wife and we had a baby.  A little girl.  Her name is Rebecca.  She… she’s everything to me.  Absolutely everything.  My wife married me, but my daughter changed me.  And…  I keep thinking about what I missed with you.  Maybe I would have wanted you, maybe I wouldn’t.  But I never even had the chance to find out.”‘

“Do you want me now?”, I asked.  That was a stupid question.

“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?”, he said with just a touch of bitterness in his voice.  “You turn seventeen in…  a few days?”  I nodded.  “Whether I want you or not…  you’re almost a grown woman.  You don’t need me.  You…  I’ve been reading your diary.  You have a beautiful family.  You have people who love you.  You have lots of friends.  You have everything I would have hoped for you if I’d known about you, and more even.  The question isn’t whether I want you.  The question is…  where do we go from here?”

I thought.  “I’ll change the question, then.  Do you even want anything to do with me, now?”

“I was irresponsible,” he said, with a touch of vehemence in his voice.  “I did something stupid that I didn’t know was stupid at the time, and here you are.  And I have to own up to that irresponsibility.  I don’t deserve to be a part of your life, but…  I’d like to get to know you anyway.  It’s the least I owe you.”

Sabby came out and said dinner was ready.  Thankfully he didn’t seem to notice or care that Sabby was black, that’s something that worried me.  He told us a little bit about his life.  He said that he was the marketing director for a tech firm, and that he comes to Dallas frequently on business, because his company has an office there.  He told us about his daughter – she’s about Beth’s age, was very pretty (he had a lot of pictures on his phone he showed us), and told us about his house in California.  He said he was considering moving because, well, California.  He and his wife have been talking about moving to Dallas, but no concrete plans yet.  It was nice how his eyes lit up every time he talked about his daughter, you could tell she really is the apple of his eye.

I told him about my being found and loss of memory – he really had read my diary.  All of it.  That’s impressive, there’s.. a lot to read.  He asked me what I want to do when I grow up, and I told him I really didn’t know.  I told him about my and Sabby’s plans to open a cookie business, and he seemed interested in that.  He didn’t try to get in (thankfully) but he did offer some marketing consulting if we wanted.  That was nice of him.  We’ll need that.

He also invited me to LA at some point to stay with him and his family for a while.  I…. told him I’d think about it.  It’s not that I mind too much, but I just met him, and haven’t had a chance to figure out quite how I feel yet.  I think he understood.

After a nice dinner, he needed to head back to Dallas.  But we exchanged contact info and we’re going to at least keep in touch.  I guess that’s about all I could ever expect.  He said something about child support, and I told him that I have a very large trust for some reason, and that I don’t need or want his money, but if he really wants to support me he can be there for me if I need him.  He said, simply, “that’s the least I owe you.”

We did not hug when he left, but he did grasp my shoulder, look me in the eyes, and say as sincerely as anyone has any right to expect, “I’m sorry.”

Under these circumstances, what more could a girl ask for?

Sabby and Dave think he’s sincere, or at least mostly sincere.  I think I agree.  So, we’ll see where we go from here.

He was irresponsible.  He and I will both agree on that.  He treated Emiko like crap, and even though he didn’t know it, he treated me like crap too.  He was more interested in drinking and partying and taking advantage of women.  But then he had a daughter he actually knew about, and… he grew up.  If he were the same person he was, I would tell him to pound sand.  But… I don’t think he is.

But the proof of the pudding, as Dave says, is in the eating.

I don’t love him, but… maybe someday I’ll like him.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 30 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

My birth father is in Dallas right now.  He’s going to drive down here tomorrow and we’re going to have dinner.

Sabby doesn’t want Beth and David here, so they’re going to go over to Diana’s house, and have dinner there.  Diana’s going to make her famous tacos, so David’s not complaining too much.

I think I can see why.  It’s probably wise.

Emiko was one thing.  She knew about me.  I mean, of course she did, but still, she did.  He’s.. ummm…  I was a complete surprise.  Well, you know the story.  But I don’t know what’s going to happen.  I mean, what if he’s a terrible racist and doesn’t like Sabby?  He lives in California, but still.  What if…  all sorts of what ifs.  I’m nervous and worried.

I guess at least he wants to see me, so there’s that.

What am I going to say to him?  I guess I’ll play it by ear.

What a week of highs and lows.  Seriously.

On the bright side… or the dark and gloomy side.. it rained today!!!  It was cool and cloudy and rainy!  YAAAYY!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 29 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

OMG I’m still sooo happy!!!  Jack’s coming to Austin!!!!  But it’s a little tempered by the fact that I’m going to be meeting my birth father.  The way my life goes, he might turn out to be some kind of purple fox or something.  I’m a little nervous, but hopefully not as nervous as he is!  I mean, it’d suck if he didn’t care, right?

But then after that is my birthday!!!  OMG!!!  I can’t wait!  I don’t knowo what we’re going to do but it’ll be fun!  Maybe go to the waterpark!  Maybe eat chocolate!  Maybe eat chocolate at the waterpark!!!  I love birthdays!!!  They’re such a chance to do fun stuff and celebrate another year of life with the people you love!!!  And maybe next year, with Jack too!

And the weather’s turning cooler too!!!  No more 100 degree days!  Now it’s 90 degree days!  Still hot but not melt-your-face-off-and fry-it-like-an-egg hot!

Okay, I gotta go now!  Marie needs walked and I needs sleeped!  SQUEEEEEEE!!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 28 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And BOY do I have some NEWS today!

Soap Opera Lily strikes again!  DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (organ chord hahaha)

Okay so as it turns out.. well, you know how Jack’s family came over here for a week?  I thought just to have a vacation and to see me?

Well, it wasn’t.  Well, not only that.

Jack’s father was interviewing!!!  Yeah, you know those times when they wanted some alone time?  Well, having “alone time” wasn’t all they were doing.  Jack’s father was interviewing!!!

He got a job here!  In Austin!!!

Jack’s family’s moving to Austin!!!!


It wasn’t because of me, though.  That was just a side effect that made Jack say “heck yeah!”  Austin’s really growing on the tech scene and his father got a REALLY good job!!!

So they’re working on getting all their ducks in a row, but my boyfriend will be here!!!


I’m so excited I can barely see straight!  We’ll go to the waterpark!  We’ll go on dates!  We’ll go to the waterpark!  We’ll go to the waterpark!  Hahah!!  Did I say we’ll go to the waterpark??

What will it be like, having him here?

I don’t know.

I think it will be fine though.

Pyon pyon pyon pyon pyon pyon pyon doki doki pyon!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Love you all!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

This diary entry is part 27 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I haven’t made any youtubes lately, but I made one today!  It was fun!  It’s hard, though, because I like to get it just right – I don’t like to add too much throat clearing or anything like that.  But I got it done, and I edited it myself and everything!  Yaaaay!!!

It’s been a while, though. I should make more videos.  Then you can see more of my cute (and modest) face! But the problem is, I’m a sixteen year old girl.  No one wants to see a sixteen year old girl just ramble on about her life.  That makes no sense.  So I’m trying to think of something interesting to do where you can see my cute face and be entertained!

Anyway, it was a nice, quiet day.  The girls all left this morning, crashing a little from all the chocolate the night before.  I studied and did chores and ate leftover Dave grilling.  I like the occasional quiet day, though.  I meet my birth father next week.  I hope that goes okay.  I’m a little nervous and worried.  I’m prepared to not like him, but I don’t want to.  Like I said, there aren’t many people I actively don’t like.

Well, that’s all for today.  Not every day can be like a soap opera.  Right? … I hope I didn’t just jinx myself.

It did rain a little tonight, but just enough to make it humid.  Boo!!

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 26 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Well, I don’t know what to think of my “anonymous benefactor”.  But whoever it is, they sent chocolate, and a lot of it.  And no way am I letting that go to waste.

So tonight is a chocolate party.

I called all the girls over and said “I have more chocolate here than we could possibly eat in one sitting, but we’re sure gonna try.”  So Liz, Crystal, Diana, Allison, and some of their families, came over.  Dave grilled (yum) and we had a party, and afterwards I broke out the huge box o’ chocolate and we just pigged out.  OMG was that delicious chocolate.  My “anonymous benefactor” knows their way around chocolate, gotta hand it to them.

As I mentioned, Liz isn’t a huge fan of chocolate, but this was the gourmet stuff, and no way was she missing out on that.  Even she had to admit that this was something special.  So, I’m sure my anonymous benefactor would love to know that the chocolate was appreciated and we made a significant dent in it.

Forgiven?  Like I said, not sure. But that was good chocolate, and chocolate does cover a multitude of sins.  It takes a lot to get me that mad, and a lot to make up for it.  But they sure had the right idea…

Now we’re having a party.  But earlier Beth and I told all the girls how community college is, and they told us how school is (Allison is reallllllly happy with her Quest program, and Crystal’s having a bit of a hard time getting along) and we just chomped on chocolate and leftover grill stuff.  Our tummies are full.  A bit too full, actually.  Ooooh.  Allison has to go home, but the rest of us are going to make a girl-pile.  It’s been a rough week and they’re very warm and smell like girl.

Anyway, Not much to say tonight.  Marie can’t eat chocolate, but we’ve got doggy treats for her, so everyone’s happy.  But she needs a walk.  I’m glad it’s cooler out now, I think the 100 degree weather is over.  I hope.  I love Texas, but that can be a lot.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 25 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Okay.  I want to say that I meant every word that I wrote last night.  But…

This morning while I was at school, an overnight delivery came.  I didn’t know who it was from, but when I got home, I opened it, and it was absolutely full of chocolate.  Not the cheap kind either – the kind Jack buys me, and other types besides.  Stuff imported from Switzerland.  Stuff imported from Austria.  Stuff imported from Japan.  The amount of chocolate in that box was breathtaking.  And there was a note.  I can post it – you’ll see.


I owe you an apology.  Interjecting in your diary was not the proper thing to do.  Truth be told, I panicked, and I made a couple of calls to people who had the know-how to do that.  I promise I won’t do it again.  I should have sent you a letter, like I am now.  I know you love chocolate, so I hope this is satisfactory as a peace offering.

You don’t understand, Lily.  That’s not your fault, and it’s not mine – not directly.  While I have some knowledge of what happened, my knowledge is not complete.  It is not in my job description to be honest – in fact, most of the time, quite the opposite – but I will do so now,, as much as I can.

What is the most important thing for you to know is that I am, and always have been, on your side.  I know it’s not important to you – and I am so happy that this is the case – that you have a rather sizeable trust fund, but I spent a lot of time and effort making sure that it was made available to you.  For reasons you don’t understand and hopefully will never understand, it was owed to you, and I was hoping that in some small way it could make up for what you have experienced – over the past couple of years, and before besides.  I have kept up with your diary every single day since I was made aware of its existence, and not only do I use it to keep tabs on you for my own purposes, I find myself genuinely interested in your life and how you are progressing.

You are a strong girl, Lily.  A very strong girl.  You always have been.  You took circumstances that were stacked against you and managed to become a very well-balanced young woman.  I watched you get adopted, I watched you learn about the unexpected skills you have, and I watched you grow from an uncertain and insecure young woman into the confident young woman you are today.  Believe me, nothing could make me happier, even if just to assuage some of my guilt at the circumstances surrounding your life.

There were… unfortunate circumstances that led to you being where you are today.  I am still not at liberty to even hint at them, but I fear that you may discover them for yourself, soon, or at least discover an incomplete version of them that will only lead to questions and jumping to incorrect conclusions.  If you continue down this road of trying to find out who you were before you were found, the answers you find might not be the answers you were looking for or expected, and there is little that can be done to “set the record straight”.  I find the fact that you are having dreams about your “previous life” to be an unexpected and unwelcome development, frankly, but there is nothing to be done.  I just hope that they do not cause you more stress than you would otherwise have in your life.  Unfortunately, I fear that that may be the case.

You will probably wish to post this on your diary.  You have my permission, as it was I that interjected there in the first place.  I don’t expect that this letter and the chocolate will completely assuage your justified anger, but I trust I have at least explained myself somewhat satisfactorily.  I implore you, though to tread carefully from here on.  All I can tell you is that there is a reason that people very high up in the government – including myself – have a personal interest in you.  There have been multiple intercessions on your behalf, on a very high level, to ensure that you are able to live a somewhat normal life as a citizen of the country you were born in.  When I say very high level, I mean very high level.  “You have seen some of us on the news” level.  But do not worry.  We are all on your side.  Many owe you a great debt, and we will ensure it is paid.  After all, while we are by nature of our jobs not always the most honest, we are, at the least, honorable.

Please give our regards, and our thanks, to your adoptive parents.  We could not have wished for a better family for you.  It is our understanding that you and Sabby wish to open a business.  While our resources are not unlimited, there may be things we can do to help smooth the process.  All we ask is to try some of her cookies.  If they are as good as you say they are, well, the Pentagon is a very large building, with lots of people who like cookies.  While many military and intelligence types can be not so nice at times, we’re still human, and have quite the sweet tooth.

I have said enough.  Perhaps, too much.  Please take my words to heart and, if you cannot forgive me, at least enjoy the chocolate.  I remain, your anonymous benefactor.

Well.  Isn’t that something.

I only have this to say, as I’m pretty sure the person reading this is also, at some point reading this entry.  Thank you for the chocolate.  I’m not sure I forgive you.  But I’ll take you at your word that you don’t mean me harm.  After all, if you are as high up as you say, what choice do I have?  But don’t do that again.  If you ever want me to even come close to trusting you, never do that again.

Otherwise, it’s nearly bedtime.

Oh.  I meet my birth father next week.  Fun.

Love you all!!! ❤

This diary entry is part 24 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

I’m going to skip the hi and love you all today, because I am mad.  I mean, mad.  Mad like I’ve never been mad before.  It was hard to keep it together today, and it might be hard to keep it together now, but I’ll try.

Did you see the little thing someone put on the end of yesterday’s diary?  I don’t know how he or she did it, and I don’t care – though I did change my password, fat lot of good that would do me.  But he or she basically told me that I was coming close to learning things I shouldn’t be learning.

As Sabby would say, oh no you didn’t.

This is MY LIFE.  I’m the one with no memories!  I’m the one who is trying to piece together who I am, with absolutely no help from anyone who knows anything, and I’m the one who has to deal with what is starting to look like someone’s deliberate choices.  My history, my memories, are not things I shouldn’t be learning, and I don’t care what they are.  You have no right, and neither did anyone else involved.  Who do you think you are, anyway?  Some person over in Washington who doesn’t know me and who I don’t know, playing with my life like I’m your toy, telling me not to find out who I am?  You’re not the one who spent a week straight crying because I didn’t even know my name!

In Japanese there is a word, and I’m going to use it now.  You can look it up or not, I’m sure its meaning will be clear from context.


If you don’t have anything valuable to contribute, just butt the hell out!  I don’t know who you are, all I know is that every time you’ve ever gotten involved with my life you screw it up!  Just stop it!  Go away!  I hate you!

This diary entry is part 23 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I have news!!!

So today I went over to the campus with Beth to go to class and do some studying.  Nothing huge… I guess this is my life now.  I’m not sure Beth likes commuting with me, but it’s how things are, and she does like going to class and learning new stuff, so I guess she’ll deal.  She’s not upset or anything, just not her favorite thing.  But Sabby and Dave are busy with their own things, and I’m going anyway, so…

I do make sure she’s well fed, though, so she does like that.  When we go to campus, she gets lunch.  I pay for some of it, and Sabby pays for the rest.

My classes have some high school students doing dual-credit courses like me, and some adults.  The adults are… ummm…  I don’t like how one or two of them look at me, but I guess adults gonna adult.  As long as they keep their adult hands to themselves, they can look at whatever.  But I haven’t forgotten what happened to Crystal, so…  most of them are pretty cool, though.  A couple could be mentors.  Maybe.  I’m particularly interested in the business courses, for obvious reasons.

But while that’s cool, that’s not news!!!  This is news!!!

I got a letter from Japan today!!!

It came from the immigration center.  When I got home, Sabby handed it to me, and said “come oooooon, open it!!!”  So… I did.

It was all in Japanese.  And while I know Japanese, I don’t really know official Japanese, which tends to be a lot more stuffy and uses all sorts of obscure and officious kanji.  But, thankfully, my phone has a translate function using the camera!  Isn’t that cool!

So I waved my phone over it, and here’s what I learned:

Apparently I visited Japan a couple of times, Once when I was nine, and once when I was eleven.  I entered at the customs checkpoint in Tokyo Narita.  The name I used was “Yuriko Nakamoto”, and…  they had a picture!  It wasn’t the best quality and only one… but there I was.  A little me!  And…  And the woman and man from my dream.

The one where I was in a field and met Marie – not the dog I have now, but the one from my dream.

I looked serious.  Not sad, not happy, just serious.  Like I had someplace to be and needed to get there.  The adults I was with looked severe, but not unkind.  I had a stuffed bear and a little backpack.

They couldn’t find any info about the man or the woman.  They apologized profusely, but somehow it had gone missing.  Hmm.

Well.  I guess I know a little more.  And I have a younger picture of me.  That’s something.  And… was my dream real?

I need to go to bed.  I feel a little sad.

Love you all!!! ❤

Lily, it’s your friend from Washington.  Be careful.  You’re coming close to learning things you should not know.

This diary entry is part 22 of 31 in Lily's diary dated 14 - August 2022

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Today was my first day of college!!!  Well, community college, but still.  I’m going to learn so much!!!  The teachers are a lot stricter and there’s a lot more to learn, but they don’t treat you like a child either!  That’s so cool!!!

Beth and I went to the Highland campus, it’s an old mall that they turned into a campus!!!  There’s a little canteen, a bookstore, a computer lab, all that stuff.  Like a high school but for adults!!!  I like it!!

Some of my classes are remote learning, though.  So that’ll be like zoom classes at school!

Beth likes it too.  She’s finally getting challenged.  Girl is too smart for high school.

Jack made it home today.  He misses me already, but I miss him too!  Aww!  And I miss Grace!  She’s a little cutie!  Everyone loves her!  Did I mention that?  She’s like one of those cute Japanese girls in j-pop, everyone just wants to hug her and pinch her cheeks!

And…  Marie misses Lily (the dog) too!  She seems a little sad.  It stormed a lot today so I couldn’t take her to the dog park, but we’ll do that soon!  We’ll make her forget about Lily with sticks and balls!!!  And it did storm a lot today!  So much rain!  There were flash flood warnings!!!  lightning!  Thunder!  No hail or tornadoes though, thankfully!!!  I’m not used to driving in the rain but the trick is to take it slow and have Beth wipe the windows with her arms!!!  haha!! Kidding!!!  This is Texas, I haven’t got much chance to practice driving in the rain.

Okay!  It was a long week and a long day!  I’m tired and I just finished my homework anyway!  They really pile it on!  So I gotta go to bed now!

Oh!  My birthday is coming up soon!  In a couple of weeks!  I wonder what fun things I’ll do that day!!!  September 3rd!!!  YAAAAYYYY!!! I’ll be 17!  Can you believe it?  17!  I was 14 when I was found!  It’s been a while!!!  And that’s a Saturday too!!!  Maybe…  WATERPARK!!!!!!!!!

Or something just as fun.

Chocolate fountain?


Love you all!!! ❤