Month: March 2024

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’m tired.

I mean.. I’m really tired.

It’s not that I’m physically tired…  Sabby calls it being “burnt out”… but right now I just hate practicing.  Sabby told me she was expecting it to happen… but it’s awful.  I’ve got so much to do and my motivation went to crap.

Awww.

So Sabby says I should take a few days and not practice.  I told her I need to.  She said do I want to power through now and maybe make myself sick for the performance, or do I want to take a break and maybe get my motivation back?

Well, when you put it like that…

So for the first time in months, I didn’t practice today.  Didn’t touch the keyboard.  I went to class, then I went to the park and played with Marie.  I threw the ball and she was happy.

I asked Liz how she deals with being burnt out, and she says sometimes she powers through, but sometimes she just can’t, and that’s when she takes a break and does something fun.  When’s the last time I did something really fun?

Even in Japan it was mostly work…

So we’ll figure something out, I guess.

Sabby says that’s why we call it recreation.  Re creation.  She’s pretty smart sometimes.

I’m surprised Crystal hasn’t burnt out but she’s pretty driven, in some ways in ways I’m not, so…  I guess we’ll see.

Anyway, I’m going to bed.

Love you all! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice practice…

practice…

Aww.

But I’ve almost got it now.  I have a meeting with the conductor soon to go over it and make sure it’s ready to start rehearsing with the actual orchestra.  I’m looking forward to that, that’s actually maybe the most fun part.  To take something I’ve been working on for so long and have them add a whole different dimension to it…

And Yuki, well.. that girl’s a powerhouse when she gets going.  I see why she was such a successful idol.  I’ve never seen someone work that hard.  She’s got three different arrangers working on three different pieces at the same time.  I asked her where she got the money, and she said that the symphony would reimburse her reasonable costs, and, well, being a successful idol meant she had some stashed away anyway, so she could front it.  Anyway, she’s got everything well in hand, if it keeps going at this rate, she’ll have something to give to them around the same time I go to meet the conductor next week.

Miki’s group sold a LOT of blu-rays, a lot more than I thought they were going to.  I guess the otaku really wanted those handshake tickets.  They’re kinda taking a break right now, they had a successful launch, so they’re off at the yuuenchi (amusement park) or something.  I guess Miki and Rika got to know each other a bit better and Miki’s now returning Miki’s feelings.  A little.  Girl’s a bit obsessed, but it’s just senpai-kouhai I guess.

There’s a couple of girls there who, I think, well…  rub each other the right way?  How do I even put that?  But it’s not Miki and Rika.  Not telling you who, either.  It doesn’t matter.  Besides even that’s dangerous to say because what if an otaku reads this?  But this isn’t in Japanese, so…

I told Miki about the idols that Yuki wants to come over and perform with her, and she got all starstruck and said if she wasn’t so busy she’d come over here herself just to see that.  Man, Yuki’s pretty famous herself, but she’s not the only one, I guess.

Jack did go tux shopping and sent me a photo… oof.  I gotta cool down.  Boy cleans up nice.  He definitely deserves my slit-leg low neckline tummy-flattening dress Robert got me for the Oscars…

Can you believe I’m saying stuff like this?

My life is sure different than it was when I started this diary.

Oh, I showed Miki the still of me at the Oscars, and I thought she was going to die of jealousy.  I didn’t know why… then she said she had some crush on one of the movie stars.  Guess it all makes sense now.  Even Japanese know about American movie stars.  Though I do think some of them are just jealous of their chests…

Oppai envy!!! Hahaa!!!!

I guess I got mine from Robert’s side of the family, because my build is not Japanese… even though my face is.  Jack is very appreciative of that fact…  eh.. 

Anyway…  guess I should go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It’s St. Patrick’s day!  Whatever that means. Four years since I was found and I still don’t really know what that means.  Guess it’s some guy who wears green and speaks with an Irish accent and goes pinching people under rainbows.  Or something like that.

So it was a typical Sunday, really.  Went to church…  I had a message but it seemed very targeted, because I didn’t really understand it and neither did most of the people in the congregation, but one person jumped up and ran out crying, so… it must have hit home.  I felt bad for wasting everyone else’s time, but that’s how this thing works I guess.

I felt bad for her running out crying too, but I don’t really get to choose the messages, and she came in a few minutes later seeming okay.  She didn’t seek me out after, though.  They rarely do, I think they realize that I didn’t really have anything to do with the message.

And then the girls came over to rehearse…  OMG Crystal is really coming into her own.  She’s not exactly hendrixing or anything like that, but she’s got a few more chords down and is getting better at doing the lead guitar thing rather than just strumming.  She’s going to be a force to reckon with in a few months.  We’re still not good enough to perform, but Beth is really getting better at vocals, Crystal is, well, like I just said, and Diana’s holding her own with rhythm guitar.  Her heart really isn’t in it, though.  I guess I understand.

Otherwise, we just had a lazy day.  I felt bad for not practicing, but Sabby’s right.  If I practice every day, it’ll do me more harm than good.

Yuki facetimed us with her former idol friends.  They’re pretty cool and think it would be neat to come to the US to perform with her.  She’s seeing if there’s any special visas they need.  But Yuki’s pretty good, she’ll figure it all out.  Sabby said they can stay with us if they want, Japanese folks are usually pretty well-mannered and David, well, he can deal.  Haha!!!

Poor David.  He’s got a thing for Japanese girls now.  I guess after Ai gave him an eyeful it kicked him into gear.  Aww.

Anyway…

Girls are all home now.  Spring break is pretty much over so they’ve got stuff to do.  Crystal told us all about her road trip, she had a lot of fun.  Diana brought back some Mexican souvenirs, which was nice of her.  And Liz, well…  she’s really studying hard.  I guess she wants to get a really good grade on her finals.

Jack’s studying hard, too.  I’m glad.  Wish I got to spend a little more time with him, though.

Oh well.  They say, be careful what you wish for, you might just get it.  And I wanted him to take his studies more seriously…  We still chat most nights though.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

It was a dreary and rainy day today, though at least it wasn’t cold.  Showers coming through and dumping on us, along with a few storms, and then they went on their way to dump on someone else.

Sabby told me to keep the practicing to a minimum today.  I think she’s worried about me.  I don’t blame her.  It’s what I need to do, but I probably do need a break.  So I just did the bare minimum today.  Otherwise the girls were over.  We went to the mall and, well, did mall stuff.  You know, eat tremendously unhealthy food, look at ugly (and a few cute) outfits, and just generally were a giggling clump.  It was fun though.  I do like the mall, though it’s not somewhere I could go every day.

Some malls are better than others, though.  We tried the mall down south once.  It wasn’t nearly as good as Lakeline.

So, otherwise.  Not a lot going on.  We did go to the show last night and it was fun.  The Round Rockers Rocked.  There was another group headlining too, they were kind of a joke band but still pretty funny.

I’m not sure they meant to be a joke band, but they rolled with it.

Today was mostly a good day to stay indoors and play games, though.  We had a lot of fun today.

Beth’s birthday is coming up.  I need to get her a present, or think of something to do.

Yuki is…  impressive when she gets it in her mind to do something.  She’s already got one of the pop songs roughly arranged, and is working with the arranger to finish it up now.  Two more to go, but at this rate, she should get it done in plenty of time.

Anathema was over today, too.  After working all night last night to help host the live music event, she had the day off.  There are other maids to cover.  So, she’s just being one of the girls.  She went out with Joe this evening though.  They’re getting along pretty well.  He hasn’t popped the question yet.  I don’t think he will in the near future… but I think he will eventually.

Anathema seems willing to wait.

She’s doing well, though.  Things seem to have calmed down a bit.  It’s funny how much people will forget about you if you just give them time.

Funny and sad.. but in this case a good thing, I think.

Anyway…  I guess we all should go to bed now.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

LILLYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Most of the girls are here today.  We had pizza, and we’re eating chocolate and watching anime.  Yay!!!  Let’s see… what are we watching?  Yuki wanted to watch “I would die if my favorite idol made it to the Budokan”, and…  I think it might have given her PTSD.  Some of those otaku are obsessive.  But she said it was interesting to see it from the other side.  She also said some of the portrayals of idol life were pretty accurate.

Some of these anime have really long names.  I guess the reason is, that in some of the places where they show what anime there are to watch, they don’t have a place for a description.  So they make the title describe the anime.  “I was a teenage pop star who turned into a werewolf”, that kind of stuff.  Turns out there’s actually reasons for why Japanese do the sometimes weird stuff they do.

Like, did you know anime girls are supposed to look like cats?

I never looked at them the same way again, once I heard that.

So I guess I should go.  They’re starting to chant “onee-chan”, and as we’ve found out, nothing good ever comes from that.  Either I get pissed off, I turn into some semblance of a Japanese idol, or both.  Sigh.

There’s not much to talk about anyway.  Everything that was going on is still going on, not much that wasn’t isn’t, and it’s all good.

There’s a concert going on a little later at the shop, we might go over there and see if it’s any good.  I guess the Round Rockers came back.  They seem to like our venue.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I’ve never seen Yuki so excited!  She’s bouncing around trying to get all her ducks in a row… she hired an arranger to make an orchestral arrangement of a couple of her pop songs,  she’s getting all of the necessary parties together for licensing, she’s working with some idols she knows to come visit the US and do a few dances while they’re at it…  not everyone’s on board but enough are that she thinks she can make it work.

Fortunately, arrangers aren’t really that expensive.  You’d think they were, but..  not really.  And pop songs really aren’t all that hard.

I’m still waiting for the results of my SAT tests. It’ll probably be another week.  Aww.

So, otherwise… kinda boring.  Practice, practice.  Beth’s bday is coming up and I have to think of a good present for her.  Jack’s prom is coming up, too.  I have a nice enough dress, but he needs to go shopping for a tux or something.  He doesn’t want to go overboard with like a limo or anything like that, but I told him if I’m going to wear my nice dress with the leg slit, he’d better clean up nicely too.  He kinda sighed, but agreed.  So we’ll go shopping soon.

Boys, right?

Well, as boys go, he’s pretty good.  I don’t talk about him much lately, but it’s mostly because he’s busy studying.  He’s waiting for his SAT test results too.  He doesn’t know which college he wants to apply to, but the SAT results will help him decide.  Some colleges really don’t care about SAT results.  He kinda wants to go to one that does.  After all, it’s not just about what he does at school, but who he goes to school with too.  And people who got in without being all that smart aren’t the type that make good partners in school projects.

He’s… making a lot of sense, actually.

The thing about Jack is, he’s not dumb.  Really, he isn’t.  He’s just not… all that motivated, sometimes.

I wish I could take him to Japan with me, but…  I don’t think that’s going to happen.  I really don’t.

But oh well.  It just… well… shouganai.  Right?

I trust him, though.  We promised that if we were going to break up, that we were going to break up.  I actually don’t care as much if he ends up with another woman as much as that we break it off the right way.  I don’t think we will, I don’t want to, but I trust him that much, to do the right thing.  We’ve talked about it a lot, anyway.  Not the breaking up part, but the trust part.

Oh well.

It’s been spring break, but the girls have been off doing their own thing with their families.  Crystal’s parents wanted to take her on a road trip, and she’s been telling me about all the sights she’s seen.  Like this big ol’ replica of the Eiffel tower with a cowboy hat on top… huh?   And Diana, well, she went down to Mexico with her family to visit some extended family.  She took a plane, though… I guess driving through the cartel controlled regions is dangerous.  And Liz, well, they’re steering clear of China right now, so they drove up to Dallas to visit all the different chinatowns.  Liz was born here, but she still really likes actual, real Chinese food sometimes, and she gets upset when places like Panda Express try to pass itself off as Chinese.  She says it tastes fine, but it’s not Chinese.  And she also likes being around people who speak Chinese so she can practice.  They asked me to come along but I politely declined, I have far too much practicing to do, and that sudden trip to Japan really set me back.

Liz’s boyfriend invited her to his prom, too.  She’s really happy.  She wants me to go dress shopping with her.

I don’t talk about him much.  They’re still together.  They go on dates every now and then, but they have the same problem Jack and I do – too much studying to do.  But they’re seeing if they can get into the same college.  That’s sweet.

Anyway… guess I should go.  Another day of practicing tomorrow.  Am I going to say I’m ready for the concert right now?  I’m not.  But I’m more ready than I’ve ever been.  So there’s that.  If we were to have the concert tomorrow… I might muddle through.  But I need to be better than just muddling through.  So more practice for me!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Well…  practice practice practice.  I think I’m almost ready to start rehearsing with the orchestra.  In a couple of weeks, I guess.

Also, Yuki’s been a flurry of activity.  Right now the biggest challenge is finding an orchestral arrangement of her songs.  She’s getting Crystal to teach her how to use engraving software.  I wonder if she’ll be able to do it in time, she only has a month or two.  I guess she’ll have some long nights if she does it herself… or maybe she’ll get someone from tenerr (or whatever that site’s called) to do it.

They have to rehearse it too.  But these are professional musicians, shouldn’t be too hard for them to pick it up.

She’d better figure it out.  I wish I could help, but I don’t know anything about all that.

Other news.. Anathema’s settled into her new place, and she feels somewhat safe.  The really unhinged ones are either in prison or laying low right now, so…  I guess it works out.  Joe’s still coming over to do sweeps when he can, but he’s been recalled, so it’s proving to be a little difficult.  She does have that security system, though, so there are motion detectors and door ajar detectors and panic buttons…  the cops will know something’s wrong before she does.

They’re still an item, though.  He takes her out whenever he has a little time, and she doesn’t seem to mind.  I think he might pop the question soon.  He kinda has only a limited time, if he wants to give the baby a father.

Well, a real father, I guess.

I’ve got the application to Meiji all filled out and ready to go, I’m just waiting on the SAT scores…

So, anyway… just the usual right now.

Beth has a recital coming up too, as well as Liz.  She’s actually not doing too bad.  She and I have been rehearsing too, and she’s doing good.  I asked Anathema if she can make up a costume to look like Ai Hoshino.  She took it as a challenge, we’ll see what she comes up with.  Cosplay costumes are really easy to get wrong, and really hard to get right.  But if anyone can do it, Anathema can.  She was over taking Beth’s measurements.  All of her measurements.

But she was professional.  Good Anathema.

Anyway…  I guess it’s time to get some sleep.  Liz wants to rehearse with me too.  Busy busy!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t post last night.  We all went out Sunday afternoon and played games in the park!  And we were so tired when we got back that I just went to bed.  Marie too, she came with us, and got the ball thrown for hours.

She loves it when we throw the ball…

Anyway, it’s been a mostly boring couple of days.  Mostly, because a few interesting things happened.

So Miki’s group’s single was a success.  Not a huge smashing success, but a success.  It sold a few thousand copies.  Miki’s pretty happy, and the group found some time to video chat me and thank me, Japanese style.  That was nice of them.  I guess they’re expecting to sell a few thousand more.  By the standards of an idol group, that’s not bad, I guess.

It’s been all over Japanese media too, so “train onee-chan” is a bit famous.  Aww.

But this’ll blow over.  Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, though, right?

Anyway.. what wasn’t expected is that a few otaku figured out where I live (or at least what city) – but not Japanese otaku, western otaku – and they came to the shop looking for me.  I guess they wanted my autograph or something.  So I went down and did the whole fanservice (no, not that kind, silly-billies) thing and chatted with them for a while.  The stars in their eyes.. I see what Yuki means.  They seem like perfectly nice people, but I’m not sure they knew my name when they left the shop.  But they got my autograph, so they were happy.

And I don’t know their names either.  That’s the sad part.

I also heard back from the symphony board of directors.  They have misgivings, but they think it might be fun and worth a try, so they’re going to have Yuki do three idol songs at the end of the concert.  Contingent on her getting the music to the orchestra in a timely manner (they insisted on an orchestral arrangement, and I completely understand that) and suitable dancers and costumes, etc.  Yuki seems to be relishing the challenge – thankfully, she was not thinking what I was thinking, but knows a few idol dancers from her old group who have graduated and would like to visit the US.  So we’ll see how that turns out, but Yuki’s having a blast, so there’s that.

And rumors are already spreading on Japanese social media.  How did they find out?  They seem to have found out before I did!

Anyway, today was loads of practicing.  Truth is, this is all Yuki’s deal.  I still have a performance to do, and it has nothing to do with Yuki’s at all except for the fact that it’s on the stage at roughly the same time.

Crystal wants me to help her set up a website.  God help us all.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

First of all, I forgot to tell you what the producer emailed me about!!! He wanted me to record a small greeting and send it to him.  Just something like “Hi! I’m Lily, the train big sister!  Nice to meet you all!  Don’t embarrass your big sisters!!!” in Japanese.  So I did that.

Apparently during the premiere he played it on the big screen.  The REALLY BIG SCREEN.  And apparently twenty thousand people waved their glow-sticks and roared, and started to chant “onee-chan! onee-chan!”.  They promised to put it on YouTube…

Can my life get weirder?

Okay, well… I’m sure you want to know how the SAT went.  Well, I took it.  It was a test – I went to the local high school and they shepherded us into a room and we all took the test.  So, shouganai, nothing to be done now.  So I’ll wait two weeks or so for the results.  I don’t think I scored like the highest ever, but I think I scored highly enough that I should be able to do what I want.  I wish and hope.  But again, it’s all over now, so I just wait for the results.

I watched the Blu-Ray they sent me.  It was…  fun, but kind of embarrassing.  The single was on there, and…  it’s amazing that they took that filming session and turned it into that!!!  You could tell they dubbed it in, but it was still really well done.  And I did a pretty good job sitting there and looking annoyed.  Yuki did a pretty good job screwing up her face and telling everyone to shut up, too!  It’s pretty catchy.  I guess they’ll sell a few albums.

Remember how I said I’d get a very small cut?  Well, it is very small.  If they sell a hundred thousand albums, I’ll be lucky to get a few dollars.  But I’m not worried.  They paid me for going there, I got to meet Miki and friends, and it all worked out.  And if I get more than I thought, well, I’ll treat my little sisters again.

Beth kinda-sorta figured out their surprise, btw.  I told her to keep quiet about it, it’s a surprise for a reason.  But she’s a little excited… and a little nervous too.  Hah!!!  There’s a hint.  She didn’t get all the details right but enough to ruin it if she spills.  She’d better not.

Anyway.  Everyone’s over tonight and we’re playing games and eating junk.  Sabby told us we can stay up late tonight as a reward for doing the SATs.  Daylight savings starts tonight too… so there might be a bit of sleeping in tomorrow.  But not a lot… I have “duties” at church.  Aww.

Love you all!!! ❤️