Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Today is Diana’s birthday!!!

As I said, we’re celebrating it this weekend.  She has plans with her mother today, and that’s how it should be, I guess.  Besides, I think it’ll be more fun on the weekend anyway.  Beth is actually over with her and her mother – Beth is her best friend, but I’m not.  That’s okay! I’m her best friend’s older sister.  Just like Liz is Beth’s older sister’s best friend, not hers.

Though we all do get along really well.

She’s… I think 16 now.  But I’ll have to ask to make sure.  They’re getting so old now!  I mean, I’m eighteen and Beth’s almost seventeen, so…  wow.

Maybe that’s how Sabby feels.

I guess I don’t talk a lot about Diana here.  She’s usually mentioned in passing along with all the other girls.  But that might be because she’s the most normal of all of us girls, well, except for the ones in California and Dallas of course.  She’s hispanic (Mexican) and she’s really proud of her culture, but she’s also just average.  She has average grades, average body, average life, average food tastes… and far, far above average cooking skills.  There’s a reason why whenever I mention Diana, it’s usually right next to the word “tacos”.  I swear we should hire her in the shop.  In fact, now that she’s sixteen, I should see if we have a trainee job for her.  I bet she’d work well with Baker.

She probably would have refused before because of cat-girl, but… maybe it’ll be a little different now.

Speaking of Anathema, I guess she and Joe had a long talk.  She told him that she knows she’s only known him for a week or two, but she can’t get him out of her mind, and she’s just asking for a chance.  He countered that she seems very nice but she has only known him for a week or two, and she’s carrying proof of the fact that she’s… got a bit of a checkered past.  She asked him if that meant he wanted her to get rid of it, and that actually made him angry.  He said that of course he didn’t, the baby wasn’t to blame, and why would she say something like that?

So they had a fairly civil but somewhat heated argument, which ended with her bursting into tears and telling him she didn’t want to lose the one good thing to ever happen to her, and he said he just wants to take some time for both of them to make sure it’s the right choice, and, well…  they ended up in a rather intimate hug (but only a hug) right in the middle of the shop…  Sabby had to tell her to get back to work.

But she wasn’t really upset.  She’s happy for Anathema.

I think she’s right, and I think Joe’s right, and I think they’ll be really good for each other…  someday.  Joe won’t let her get away with anything, and she’ll help Joe to see there’s more to life than military stuff.  I guess it all works out.

Let’s see… what are all the girls up to.

Miki’s off doing idol stuff today, apparently there’s a handshake event coming up.

Yuki’s still kind of recovering from the Japan trip.  It was emotionally draining for her.  She’s happy she did it, though, even though her being in Japan was all over LINE and now the news started to pick it up, and there were a few rumors about her seen coming out of a strange hotel room with me and Miki. Which the producer, to his credit, promptly squashed in an uncharacteristically blunt rebuttal.  He seems to take care of his girls when the situation calls for it.  Something like “Don’t you have better things to do than following a teenage girl around, hentai?”  (Miki’s fine.  It wasn’t against the rules by any means, nothing happened, and the news agency was just trying to stir up crap.  They got smacked down enough that they did one of those groveling apologies Japanese folks are famous for).

They also did an expose on “train onee-chan”, but I didn’t care.  All they really know is my name and that I’m a gaijin from Texas.  I don’t have the same kind of embarrassment a Japanese person would have about the situation, so they’re mostly leaving me alone, I’m not really worth it.  They just posted a few photos and some speculation that was about 50% wrong.

Liz is practicing for her own concert, and she and I need to start rehearsing too.  Where am I going to find the time?? She’s also starting to see about going to college.  She’s got a few really good ones in her sight.  She’s probably not going overseas, though.  Her parents don’t want her going to an ivy league one, though…  apparently now they’re more of a liability.  Oh well.

Crystal’s still practicing furiously.  I’m so surprised she’s stuck with it this long, but she seems to have a knack for it.  She’s still got some mental health issues but she seems to be working through them slowly, and her parents are starting to realize how much damage she suffered.  Guitar seems to be helping, and that’s why we all agreed to form a band with her.

Beth’s still practicing singing,  It gets a little loud sometimes, but I can hardly complain, practicing piano for hours a day like I do, with a concert coming up.  She’s got a pretty powerful voice, when it’s trained up she’s going to be a force to reckon with.  Not surprising, considering how she shouts down Sabby when she gets going.  I’m taking a little time and teaching her Japanese diction.  After all, she wants to sing “idol”, and…  that’s certainly ambitious.  But that’s Beth, she doesn’t do the easy stuff.

Rebecca’s, well… being Rebecca.  She and Becky and Larissa have become inseparable and they’re spending all sorts of time at Larissa’s ranch learning how to take care of animals.  Maybe Rebecca will be a veterinarian someday.  She loves the horses the most, and they seem to love her too.

The girls over in California are…  well, being California girls.  Ever since Rebecca left, Britni kinda took over as the leader of the group over there, and now she’s driving them to get better grades.  Who’d have thought?  Yu loved the trip to Japan, and has now become something of a weeb, and Chelsi, well…  she’s still surfing her little buns off.  She’s so happy she got to surf in Enoshima, she still thanks me for that.

Apparently she was changing into her wetsuit on the side of the road and almost caused a car accident.

Been done, ask Anathema.  Haha!!!

On the Japanese side… we know about Minami…  Ai is just doing her thing over there, she’s a little disappointed I couldn’t come to see her but she understands that I was there on business.  All the other aidols are getting a little enhanced access to Minami’s idol group, so they’re having fun weebing out that way.  And the real idols think it’s absolutely hilarious that Ai and her friends all have the same name as idols themselves, they kind of like it when they hang around just for the novelty.

Aika and Mika are, what… 11 and 12 now?  They’re turning into young women, and causing Emiko no end of grief, but… that’s what happens!  Haha!!!  But when we see them, they’re a little more like little sisters now, and we can include them on stuff we couldn’t before.

And we can’t forget about Allison.  I haven’t seen her much lately, she made a bunch of new friends and she’s spending all her time playing with them.  I’m happy for her.

I think that’s all… but maybe I forgot someone here and there.  I hope not!!!

Well… David, I guess.  He’s not a sister but he’s a brother so he gets a mention.  He’s still, surprisingly, got his “girlfriend”, but they’re still long distance and that will probably not change.  He’s still got a wandering eye with some of my sisters, but he knows he’ll get it from both sides if he tries (his “girlfriend” told him he’d better dump her if he plans to cheat, because if he doesn’t, she’ll make sure no girl at his camp ever goes near him again.  She doesn’t really care if he dumps her, strangely enough, she just wants him to make sure his priorities are straight.  And, she’s like, eleven!!!), so he’s mostly keeping to himself and playing online games with his friend.  I’m honestly shocked that’s lasted this long, I mean, they’re like eleven or so, but…  well, more power to him I guess.

I did catch him with some naughty photos of Japanese girls, though… Ai seems to have impacted him.  Hah!!!

Sabby also caught him, and… well….  he doesn’t have those photos anymore.

And the adults, well… this is long enough, I guess we’ll leave that for another post.  Everyone’s fine and doing their thing.  Little Sabrina is crawling now!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So back to normal today, well, as close to normal as it gets for me, I guess.

I got a decent sleep and I’m still pretty exhausted, but it’s a lot better, thankfully.  Went for a run this morning, I haven’t done that in a few days for obvious reasons.  Of course Marie was pretty happy to see me and we cuddled last night.  And, um…  otherwise pretty quiet.  I went back to practicing my cute little tushy off, and my fingers too while I’m at it.  I’m out of practice but thankfully didn’t forget everything.  I still have to go see the conductor later this week.  Thankfully I still have a couple of months before we start really preparing.

Kind of regret losing the practice time, but it was worth it.  I guess.

I really do have mixed feelings about a lot of stuff.  I mean, all the really odd stuff seems to happen to me.  Not that I’m really complaining because most of it is pretty cool, but still.  I guess I’m not meant to live a life of relative obscurity.  I mean, I’m not as well known as Miki, but…  I may have affected more people.

I guess that’s just what I do though.  Part of being an ark.  Or walking shrine.

I still don’t entirely know what all that’s about.

Anathema wanted to chat today, so I made a little time, and we… chatted.  I’ve never seen her so…  confused.  Usually she’s so confident and ready to take the world – and other things – by the horns, but…  she really does seem to have turned over a new leaf.

She’s so entirely besotted by Joe that the poor girl can’t even think straight.

To Joe’s credit, he’s being very fair about the whole thing.  He’s not leading her on, and he’s not rejecting her.  He’s not pretending there’s something there isn’t, and he’s approaching the whole thing very cautiously.  Apparently he  still doesn’t entirely trust her, her “change of heart”, as it were, is still far too recent.  And I can’t really say I blame him.  I don’t think I would either.

She’s frustrated, but I just said “what do you expect?  Did you expect there would be no consequences?”

“I deserve that for calling you selfish, don’t I?”

“Maybe, but I would have said that anyway.  You’ve found yourself a good one.  Don’t screw it up.”

“I KNOW,” she said, almost growling.  “What do you think I’m afraid of doing every minute of the day?  Screwing it up!”

“Well, tell him that!”

…  she hadn’t thought about that.

She’s so used to playing games, she’s not sure what to do with a guy who doesn’t play games.

I think it’ll be alright.  Joe doesn’t strike me as the type to not be fair or to play games.  As long as she can keep working on being honest with him and gaining his trust, I think it’ll work out.  He’s never had a girlfriend (from what he said), so this might be new to him as well.

But he’s still coming over every night and sweeping her apartment, and very nicely rejecting her advances.

So… Yuki and I have been the object of a lot of chattering in the idol group.  Apparently it isn’t the same anymore, and mostly in a good way.  Miki keeps telling them I’m a walking shrine (when I wish she wouldn’t!) and now a couple more girls from the idol group are chatting with me.  Nothing deep, just “Hi how are you today was fun” kind of stuff.  Not all, but that’s fine.  I don’t know what I’d do if every single girl I met was like that.  I’m really afraid at this rate that I’ll lose touch with some of them and the whole thing will just become too big to manage, and then what?  I avoided the whole idol thing for a reason.

Oh well.  Maybe there’s a reason.

Tomorrow is Diana’s birthday.  We’re celebrating it this weekend.  I’m sure everyone will have fun.

They still haven’t figured out the surprises.  I don’t think they will.  Though Beth is pretty smart and she’s starting to put the dots together.  I’ve already told her if she does, to keep it to herself.

Okay, I guess I should go to bed.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And I’m HOME!!!!

It was a nice, uneventful flight, thankfully.  Yuki and I spent most of it catching up on sleep, which was nice.  I don’t usually sleep well in an airplane, but some sleep is better than no sleep, I suppose.  Sabby picked us up in Houston and we drove back…  and both of us had class.

Awww.

But the sleep on the plane was… enough.  Just barely, but it was enough.

Most of the girls are over tonight, and a few by video call as well, and I told them all about it.  They thought it was cool, but seemed just a bit put out.  They were the ones who thought of it, I didn’t want them doing it in the first place, and I was the one who went to Japan.

Well, I have two thoughts on that.

The first thought is, I didn’t much like it, so I don’t feel bad at all about taking advantage of it.  It feels like… well, not that I deserve it, because I don’t, but more like I kind of earned it.  I didn’t have any say in it, so if it opens up a few doors, well, then, I’m walking through.  If they don’t like it, well, they shouldn’t have done it in the first place!  This is what happens when you make someone the star…

The other thought is… I’d already thought of that.  I have a couple of surprises lined up for them.  But I’m not telling what they are yet.

It’s true.  It was their idea and they are partly responsible for the whole thing.  So while I don’t feel bad about it…  they don’t deserve to be left out in the cold either.  Well…  they deserve it for pissing me off that day, but I’m not going to do that to them.

But I’ll take care of them.

So now they’re more talking about what the surprises are than being mad at me, which is fine by me.  However, they haven’t even come close to guessing what the surprises are.  I don’t think they will, either.  They’ll find out one soon.  The other, well…  that one will take a little while.

Miki was on the call too, for just a little while.  She’s busy doing idol stuff today, but she could spare a few minutes to meet all the girls.  None of them were particularly star-struck.  Yuki’s the only one who’s really keeping up with that world.  And Miki seemed really grateful for that.  They just see her as “one of the sisters that Lily managed to add to her collection by being Lily”, just another particularly famous one.  Liz said that pretty straight out.

Hah, they’re not wrong.

In fact, Liz has started calling it a “sister-harem”.  That annoys me.  It’s also very accurate and I can’t argue it at all.  So I don’t call her out on it.

Anathema wants to chat but I told her to wait a day or two, I’m exhausted.

Okay, well, it’s been an eventful few days, and I’m rather looking forward to my own bed, so….

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

We leave tomorrow.  It’s been really fun and I’m glad I got to meet all the idols and everything… but I’m glad to be going home, too.  This wasn’t ever intended to be a big deal, just…  something interesting to do.  And who knows where it might lead???

Anyway, this morning, Miki’s big sister came over with a change of clothes.  I guess they’re…. well, not close, but her big sister kind of dotes on her, which is kind of cute.  She wanted to meet us, so we spent a little while chatting while Miki was in the shower.  I guess her parents really don’t support her being an idol.  They’ve never actively tried to stop her, but they would rather she get good grades in school and get into a good college.  Yuki seemed to understand – there’s a lot of pressure on Japanese to perform well in school.

But she is a relatively successful idol – she’s not center ace or anything, but she’s pretty well known, and she does get the occasional modeling job, etc., so she’s not doing too badly.  Plus she does get some money for every single she’s in.

It’s a cut throat business, and her big sister seems to see both points of view.  She’s supporting Miki because she knows she won’t be able to change her mind, but she’d prefer she take a more traditional path, too.

Anyway, her sister left for home or school or wherever it is she went when she’s not bringing Miki a change of clothes, and we all took care of our business and took the train to the studio.

They did our hair and makeup because, well, we were going to be on camera, and no bad hair and un-made-up faces on camera!  But otherwise we all filed into a conference room, and Yuki was told to basically just tell the idols all the things she learned and give them tips on how to be better idols.

And, well, Yuki delivered.  The camera people went all around the room getting videos of everyone’s faces as Yuki spoke, but no one was really paying attention to that, not even Yuki.  She told stories about her time as an idol, she talked about some of the things she learned, some of the regrets she has, some of her most treasured memories.  She took a few of the girls up on stage one by one and showed them how to improve their stage presence, and also told them things they could do to improve, like specific exercises, or whatever.

And then she kind of sat on the desk, and had a heart to heart with them.

She told them that being an idol is fun, and it can open up many doors that they just have to walk through, but at the end of the day, their popularity is manufactured and that they really only exist as idols to sell CDs and give people a parasocial experience.  She put it a little differently, but that’s what she was saying.  She said that the only thing that really matters are the friendships and relationships they make, both with each other, their senpai and kouhai, and the various other people they meet on the way.  She told them to have fun and make memories, but to never, ever forget what was really important in their lives, and that their idol lives were only of secondary importance.  Their idol life would fade away, and eventually so would their beauty, and that would be all that was left.

Even the camera people were focusing on her at that point.  They knew something amazing was happening.

A couple of the girls looked a little upset, but slightly more of them were sniffling and wiping their eyes.  A couple even looked at the girl next to her and gave her a hug.  Yuki’s speech really affected them.  It affected me a little, too.

After that, we had our “free day”, and we just basically wandered around Shibuya as a large group.  We went to game places and played games, we all went to a maid cafe and had some tea and pastries.  The maids knew who they were and they were really fawning over them. Afterwards, a few of the girls wanted to pick up some new manga so we went to an Animate and otaku’d out (you’d be surprised how many of those girls are secret and not-so-secret otaku!), and we went to a park and a spontaneous game of tag broke out with some of the local children, which was hilarious.  The camera people were having a field day (well, literally, actually), and the girls pretty much completely forgot about the camera, they were having so much fun.  Afterwards a couple of the children told the idols they were pretty, which made them blush, and.. that should make for a really funny DVD.

After that we all went to a hot pot place, and…  something was different about the group.  I think Yuki’s talk affected all of them, because they didn’t seem so much like they were putting on airs, even though there were cameras planted around the table.  They seemed, I don’t know, like they were valuing their time together in a way they hadn’t the day before.

I’m glad for that.  Yuki has a lot of good memories, but a lot of regrets.  I don’t think she wants those regrets for them.

They’re not sisters, but… maybe they’re a little more friends now.

We all went to the studio afterwards, and it was time for Yuki and I to say goodbye.

And I was so embarrassed…  Miki had been talking.  All the girls stood up at once, bowed, and clapped at me.

Sigh.

The producer wondered what the heck that was all about, and I just said “long story.”  He muttered something about “baka joshi”, bowed, told me to keep in touch, and went back to his office.  Oh, and he handed me a pay envelope too and said that I’d get a small (very small) cut of all the DVDs they sold.  Hopefully that adds up but I’m not too worried about it.  Yuki got a pay envelope too, which she seemed really grateful for.  Was it a lot for either of us?  No.  But it was enough to make our trips worthwhile.  At least until Uncle Sam takes his cut…  For Yuki, it at least paid for her flight and gave her a little extra to boot.

I did have a conversation with the producer about… another matter.  What’s that?  It’s a surprise!!!  But it looks pretty certain I’ll be going to Houston to see the idols this summer.

All the girls said goodbye to Yuki and me.  Some seemed a bit perfunctory, a few seemed genuine, and Miki started crying.  Aww.  I told Miki to find people she could open up to here, and that I’m always available for a video chat if she needs me.  She hugged me so hard and said she’ll miss me.

I’ll miss her too.

But I’ll see her again.

And Yuki and I went back to the hotel.  Of course, she got mobbed on the train.  Sigh.

As I said, we’re leaving tomorrow.

It’ll be nice to go home.

But this was so much fun.  I had a good time.  And I got at least one more sister out of the deal.

Time well spent, I think.

Oh… remember how I said that Tanagawa Rika seemed to be best friends with Miki?  That’s…  a bit one-sided, it seems.  Aww.  Looks like maybe idols aren’t only parasocial with their fans sometimes.

Our flight arrives back in Houston at about 7:30 AM.  Sabby will be there to pick us up.  And…  I can’t imagine there won’t be a lot of sleeping…

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Yuki and I are so tired!!!

So we got up really early, barely having had much of a chance to sleep, and we headed right over to the studio so they could do our hair and makeup.  They dressed us up like ordinary, pretty Japanese women.  I had a nice skirt and jumper, she was dressed like a business woman.  (Yuki really rocks the businesswoman look, I had no idea! – and I’m half-Japanese, so I can pull it off)  Then we took a bus over to the train, and got on.  The front half of the train was clear, the back half had a camera or two, some lighting, a couple of production folks, and a whole pile of backpacks and purses.  There wasn’t enough room for the whole crew, so they just made do.

And we spent the next four hours going back and forth on the train from station to station and making a video.

They weren’t actually singing, they played the music on some loudspeakers, and they did their dances and stuff in relative silence.  It was actually a little eerie.  They’d do a few seconds, then someone would yell “kitte” (cut) and one of the idols would get a talking to, or they’d reposition the cameras, and do it all over again.  They got a few closeup shots of me looking annoyed, and a few closeup shots of some of the idols as they danced.  At one point they formed a line and ran up to the camera and then veered off, I’m sure it made some really cool footage, but it looked silly from my perspective.

They had Yuki yelling “Yamette kudasai” (stop!) a few times, and then they had all the idols sit quietly looking abashed.  Then they had me say quietly “minna daisuki mo” (I love you all too) and we took a break for lunch.

It’s pretty exhausting sitting there looking annoyed, honestly.

I guess the producers were off looking at the footage and making sure they had everything they needed while we had lunch.  We were at Shibuya station so we went to a food court and got some bento and stuff, and just kinda sat around eating.  Surprisingly no one came over and bugged us for an autograph, though a few were staring from a distance.  The girls were dressed pretty garishly.

Miki came over and wanted to talk to me.  She speaks almost no English, so this is in Japanese.

“Your Japanese is good.  Not perfect, but good.”

“Thanks.  My birth mother is Japanese.  I met her a couple of years ago.  I’ve been studying a lot.”

“You’re…  not like Japanese,” she said, softly.

I just looked at her.

“No, no,” she said, waving her hand, a hamburg steak still in her chopsticks.  “I didn’t mean it like that.  It’s…  a nice change.  I don’t…  I can be myself… a little more,” she said, softly.  “It’s hard sometimes.”  She ate her hamburg steak.

“Yuki told me being an idol is hard.”

“How do you know Yuki?”

So I told her the story, of how I met Yuki.  How when I met her I didn’t even know who she was, and how Yuki seemed to find that refreshing.  How we became pretty good friends and how she’ll always be Yuki to me, and not an idol.

Yuki and Minami came over to sit down. Yuki had an eel bento, and Minami had a gourmet omurice.  They looked delicious.  “I really love that,” she said.  “In the US no one knows who I am, so I don’t have to worry mostly about getting recognized and fawned over.  If someone likes me, they really like me.”

“Must be nice,” Miki said forlornly.

“I didn’t know who you are either,” I said.  “I’ve never seen your group before they offered to bring me over.”  I took a bite of my tempura.  It was amazing.

A couple of emotions warred across her face.  Disappointment and relief were the two biggest.  “It’s hard.  You always have to be on your guard around these girls.  They’re nice, and it’s fun working with them, but… you never really know where you stand, and who is going to the producer and making trouble.”

“That’s happened?”

“A couple of times.  Not often.  Nakamoto-sensei doesn’t much like it when girls do that.  He prefers we deal with our problems amongst ourselves.  It works out most of the time.”  She told a story about one girl who went to the producer, who took her back to the group, told them exactly what she had told him, and then forced her to apologize while bowing deeply.  She never pulled that again, and they eventually forgave her.  Eventually. They have to get along to work together, so it ended up working out, but it took her a very long time to get back to the point where they’d socialize with her when the cameras were off.  She said he deals with problems directly when needed (at least one idol got kicked out of the group) but not those little things that girls tend to fight over most of the time.

While I ate, Yuki then told a few stories of her time as an idol, stories she’s never told me.  Stories of jealousy, backstabbing, infighting, hurt…  but also of friendship, fun, good times…  and at the end, she said “Just remember…  these are your memories.  Your time as an idol… it will come to an end.  All you’ll take from it is your memories.  Do you enjoy it?”

Miki nodded.  “When you’re standing in front of twenty thousand people in a stadium, it’s… it’s like nothing else.”

“Treasure that,” Yuki said softly.  “I still miss it… a little.  But I don’t miss some things either.”

“Come to the US when you have time,” I said.  “It’s different there.  We have a live music venue, and it’s a lot smaller than a sports stadium.”

She nodded.  “We have a concert in Houston coming up later this year.  I’ll be sure to invite you.”  She had finished her food, so she stood up and impulsively gave both of us a hug.  “Thank you,” she said.  “It’s lonely sometimes.”

Then Yuki did something that really embarrassed me.  She told Miki the story of how I’m a “walking shrine”.  Miki looked dumbfounded, and then sighed.  “I knew there was something different about you,” she said softly.  “It’s like you were calling to me.”  She stood up, bowed, and clapped.  “Thank you,” she said, very formally.  That got us a few funny looks but everyone was too busy eating to really care.

Minami hadn’t said much, just listening to Yuki and Miki telling stories, and eating her lunch.  We asked her if she was enjoying herself, and she said she was having a really great time, and learning a lot too.  She said Miki was a really good senpai, and Miki looked embarrassed.

Soon the producer came to round us all up.  We had to get our clothes and makeup touched up before we made up for all of the stuff we missed in the first shooting.

Another four hours of filming later, and we were done.

We were then told that, as a treat for our hard work, the next day all of us (Yuki, me, and the idols) would have a free day where we could do whatever we wanted, all the basics paid for, we just had to let a camera crew come along to film us for a bonus DVD.  And before that, Yuki was to take a couple of hours and give an idol masterclass, which they’d record too.  Yeah, Minami warned me about that, but…  it’s okay.  It sounded like fun, and I did need to buy some omiyage for my sisters back home anyway.  I guess I get to have the actual life of an idol for a couple of days.

It’s not like I want to be, it’s hard work, but…  it’s fun, for a couple of days, anyway.

We all went out to eat that night, and Miki was hanging around me for some reason.  She asked to come back to our room for a little while.  I didn’t see why not, so, she did.   And the three of us spent a long time just chatting.

She really is a lonely girl.  A very lonely girl.  But…  she’s also really sweet.  I think I might have found another sister.  She…  feels like she can be herself around me.  Maybe it’s partly because I’m not an idol, partly because I’m not Japanese, partly because I’m a “walking shrine”, and partly just because that’s how she feels.

And I’m okay with that.

She’s crashing on our sofa right now.  I guess we’ll just let her sleep.  I’m sure she’ll want to take a train back in the morning to get cleaned up before we have our “fun day”.

You know how many people would kill to have her crashing on their couch?  But here she is, and it’s because we wouldn’t kill to have her crashing on our couch.  She’s our friend.

It’s amazing and sad how few people treat these idols like, well… people.

Love you all!!! ❤️