Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I went to church today.

I still don’t really understand what the pastor’s talking about.  He uses a lot of big words.  I don’t know why.  And there’s a lot of standing up and sitting down and chanting and all that kinda thing.  And he keeps quoting the Bible, but it’s… weird.  It does have some good things to say, though.  “Do under others as you would have them do unto you”… pretty good advice, I think.  That Jesus guy seems pretty okay, but I don’t know what to make of that story.

The old people always seem happy to see me, though.  Some very dressed up old ladies always tell me how pretty I am and ask me how I like my family.  That’s nice of them.  But I think maybe they forget my answers from week to week, because they always ask.

Jack couldn’t go because of work, but I don’t think he really wanted to anyway.  That’s okay.  If he just comes sometimes that’s okay with me.

After work we set up the store with a cash register and set up some tables and chairs.  That was cool!  Now I can doot doot for myself!  Hahaha!!!  Doot doot doot!!!  But now I know how the dooter works!!!  It’s connected to a computer in the back office that we can use to see what our receipts and inventory are!!!  It’s neat!!!  And we also made up some signs and menus!!!  There’s some monitors up above the paying area where we can put pictures of our stuff!!! Dave did a good job!!!

So today I cracked open a bunch of pods and put the beans in the fermenting jar!!!  I’ll have to come back in a couple of days to make sure they’ve properly fermented!!!  Then they go in the dehydrator!!!

And they’re grosss!!!!!! Ewww!!! They’re like slimy maggots!!! But of course they get better.

Anyway, we have our grand opening in a couple of weeks!  Yay!  We might need some help, though, I think we might have some work for Jack and even maybe Liz and/or Beth.  I mean, I can’t doot every single hour, and we’ll need someone to deliver the cookies too!!!  I bet Jack would be good at that!  Or Liz in a maid costume!  I think I said that before!  Hahaah!!!

Anyway, it was a busy day.  Less than two weeks till Thanksgiving!  Turkey!  YAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!! Sabby makes the best turkey!!!

Love you all!!!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Your favorite Lily!

I hope!!!!

If I’m not, please hold at the end of this diary for an important survey!  Hahaha!!!!!!

Anyway, it’s Saturday.

I like Saturdays.

I woke up this morning and Liz was all snuggly.  Awww.  I don’t mind cuddling Liz.  She’s small, and soft, and smells good.  Like Marie!  But less hair!  Hahah!  I know she has a boy now (not quite a boyfriend yet, but she’s working on it) but she does seem to get lonely sometimes.  She doesn’t have a lot of friends.  Her parents don’t push her quite as hard as they used to, but she still has Chinese classes (she speaks it well, but it’s not her native language), violin, dance, tutoring… you know, all the stuff that parents would make a daughter they want to excel attend.  After the small crisis around this time last year (has it been that long???) they let off a bit, which is why I can sleep over at her place sometimes, but they still have high expectations for her.

She doesn’t seem to mind, but she does get lonely.

Sometimes when we sleep over she kind of clings to me like I’m her teddy bear, and doesn’t really want to let go.  Every now and then she cries a little too, but that’s not often, and she seems to feel better afterwards.  I guess that’s what being a best friend is about – she returns the favor sometimes too, like when Crystal, well, did that.

In fact, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay Jack and Liz for how they were there for me.

But I can try.

Anyway, after I got back from Liz’s and did my walk, we went over to the shop to see what Dave and David did, and…. and… it’s amazing!!!!  It’s the best thing ever!!!  They had a sign put up, and a display case, and there’s lots of industrial baking stuff in the backroom… and my benefactor came through and got it all licensed and approved!  Dave was careful to say that they didn’t let him cut corners, but they were very prompt with feedback and let him get things fixed quickly.  So Sabby has a shop now.  We’re going to open in a couple of weeks.  And I have a place to experiment with making chocolate too!  Once I get good at it she’ll use it for her cookies!

One thing, though, is that we’re still technically home schooled, so we’ll have to figure something out.  Beth and I go to college classes so much of our schooling is there, so it’s not too big a deal for us, but…  David…  well, he might need to start going to a private school.  I’m sure he’ll love that.  But given how good he is with the girls, maybe he actually will.

Ummm… what are we unleashing?

Hahaha!!!

Well, we’ll see!!! 

Anyway she’s got a big industrial mixer and big industrial oven and lots of big industrial stuff for making food!  She’ll be able to make loads and loads of cookies!  Yaaaay!!!

I can’t use the industrial machines until I’m 18, but I can always doot doot and work on making chocolate (which doesn’t require big machines because the batches are smaller, for now, anyway) and help do the finances.  So I’ll have plenty to do.

Oh speaking of that, did I tell you?  I didn’t!  The people that manage my trust settled!  My trust is still there (and not doing as well as I’d like because of the economy) but they gave me a lot of money to make up for what I missed out on because of mismanagement!!!  And I don’t have to wait to use that!!! So I’m putting half of it into Sabby’s (and my) business, and the other half into savings!!!

Yaaaayyyy!!!

Who am I kidding.  A small amount of it goes to chocolate.

I mean, it’s me we’re talking about!!!

Anyway, this is long.  I didn’t even tell you about my date with Jack tonight!  But some other time.  It was a nice date. I love Jack and he loves me.

And..

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s Friday!

And it’s Veteran’s day!!!

I’m… still not entirely sure what that means.  I mean, I know what it means, but I don’t know what it means, y’know?  I guess there are people who fought in wars, and now they’re not fighting in wars anymore.  Or something.

It seems to mean a lot to Dave though.

Every year he puts a flag up outside and just stands there and looks at it for a bit.

I don’t think he was in the military.  He’s never said he was, and the story Sabby said about how they met and got married didn’t say anything about that.  But I guess he knew people who were.

I haven’t met many veterans, that I know of.  I’ve seen videos of them with missing arms and legs and stuff.  That sucks.  Dave says “war is hell” and I guess it is.  I hope we never have to deal with that, like the people in Ukraine and Russia.  I’ve heard stories about World War 2, and they’re awful.

What a depressing topic.  But I guess that’s what today is for.

Anyway, some of the girls are over tonight, and I went over to Liz’s.  That’s where I am now.  Her family got pizza (they don’t usually like food like that but they have a treat sometimes).  We’re about to turn in.  Oh, Liz is still dating her boy!!!  They’re getting along fine!!!  She even kissed him a bit!!!

She’s blushing!  Hahaha!!!

Love you all!!! Especially the veterans!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And I have thoughts.

This is not a political diary and I don’t like to talk about political things.  It’s boriing and there are so many better things to talk about!  Like chocolate!  But I do think a little bit about abortion.  It’s one of those topics that people have strong feelings about, but it’s personal for me.  No, not because of Jack.  I’m not pregnant!  I promise!

But I was born to a single mother who very well could have.  She’d have been justified to, I guess.  Well, not justified, but it would have been understandable.  Emiko could have just said “forget it”, did it, went on with college, and she’d be happy now, I guess…  but then I wouldn’t be here.

I kind of like being here.

Would I be upset with her if she had?  No, because I wouldn’t be here!  And that doesn’t seem fair.  I mean, I wouldn’t even have the chance to be angry with her!

So I don’t like it much.  I really don’t.

But I don’t have strong opinions about all the laws and decisions and stuff.  I just don’t know a lot about them.  Sabby tried to explain it and if I’m going to vote in a year I should pay more attention but it’s boring!  She did explain about the constitution and the Supreme Court and why they ruled in that decision a while ago that so many people seemed angry with.  It makes sense, I guess.  The constitution is important.  At least that’s what Sabby says.  I need to study more.

I hope Jack doesn’t get me pregnant before I’m ready.  I’m doing my best to make sure that doesn’t happen!!  And so is he!!!  But if he does…  I think I’m having the kid.  It’s not the kid’s fault!  It would be mine, and Jack’s.  Sabby says responsibility is important.  I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t, I guess.  And besides, I think Sabby would kill me if I took away a chance to be a grandmother.

Sabby loves kids.  You should see her doting on Grace and Allison.  Aika and Mika too, actually.  She always makes Allison grilled cheese sandwiches and mint chocolate chip ice cream.  And Grace, well, she loves everything, but mac and cheese is her favorite.  Sabby always makes sure she has some for when she comes over.

And I love kids too.  I’ve never taken care of a baby.  But I like Grace.  She’s little and cute and says the funniest things, and it’s nice when she sits at a table and hums and colors.  Sabby says not all children are like Grace, but I like her anyway.

I don’t like politics.  People get so angry about it.  They yell and fight and slam doors and don’t talk to each other.  But… sometimes people get hurt and die because of politics, so I guess it’s important.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I didn’t write last night because we were watching the elections!

What a mess!!!

So we went in expecting there to be a “red wave”, as Sabby put it.  Lots of people from the…  Repluglican?  Oh.  Republican party who were expected to win.  But most of them didn’t.  You could hear the tone of the election announcers change as the time went on.  Sabby was pretty unhappy, but our governor got reelected and so did Florida’s, and a few other things, so she’s not too unhappy.  Dave doesn’t really agree with her on all the political stuff, but he agrees more than he did two years ago.  Or even last year.  So he was a bit unhappy too.

So we were up late eating snacks and watching states turn blue or red until around midnight when we all went to bed.  We were soooo tired, I didn’t bother writing anything last night, I just went right to bed.

Today, they were a bit subdued, but I guess life goes on, right?

Sabby ordered me a dehydrator, roaster, blender, and mortar and pestle to make chocolate!  It’ll be fun!  And if I make good enough chocolate she can use it in her cookies!  But I’m not sure I could keep up with the rate she makes cookies.  But worth a try.

I mean, I love chocolate, anyway.  Right?  I can put different flavors in it!  Orange chocolate actually sounds pretty good!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Tomorrow’s election day!!!

I can’t vote yet.  I’m only seventeen.  But I’ll be able to vote next year!!!  Dave and Sabby already voted, though.  We have early voting here in Texas, and apparently, a lot of the time it’s in a grocery store.  So they stood in a line snaking through a pastry display.  Apparently they voted around Halloween, so everyone was dressed up!!!

Dave and Sabby are mostly agreed on who to vote for this time, oddly enough.  Usually they fight a bit about who to vote for, but I guess they’re really sick of some things.  The school board in the town I live in is kind of a mess, so they, as Sabby put it, voted the bums out.

That’s one reason they took us out of school and home-schooled us.  But even the community college is far better than our ISD.  Jack doesn’t seem to mind, though.  Maybe he’s a little more used to all that stuff.  He knows what’s good and what’s bad.

So tomorrow we’re all getting junk food (lots of chocolate and soda), and sitting around the TV or computer and watching the election results!  I don’t talk about politics here, and I won’t start now, but I think I’ll be able to tell you if they’re happy or sad!  I think they’ll be happy, though.

I need to learn more about this stuff, for when I vote next year, or worse, in 2024!!!

I’m going to doot doot for the country!!! Hahaha!!!

Okay!  Bedtime!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I went to church today.  Jack came with me, but I think only because I asked him to.  He’s so sweet.

Truthfully, I still don’t understand half the stuff the pastor talks about.  In fact, it doesn’t even interest me all that much.  None of it makes any sense.  Lots of big words that just kind of go in one ear and out the other.  And I won’t lie and say I didn’t check my phone a couple of times.  But for the most part, I just sat there like a good girl and let the pastor do his thing.

Thankfully, it didn’t go forever.  He’s pretty good about sticking to time.  And the music is pretty.  Though Dave can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

So after we went for chocolate pancakes (Jack’s favorite part of it), we went home, and Dave and David went to put some finishing touches on the shop, and I trolled YouTube for a couple of hours.  And I found a really interesting video, on how to make chocolate.

Did you know you can make chocolate?

Apparently you take the beans, which look a bit like slimy maggots, ferment them, dry them, roast them, grind them, mix them with sugar and cocoa butter and maybe other stuff, and cook them.  And what comes out is really good chocolate.

I told Sabby I want to learn how to make chocolate.

She thought, and said “I…  didn’t even think of that.  That’s a great idea.  Tell me what you need.”

So I’m going to learn to make chocolate!

I think I’d be really good at it!

And it would help the shop, because it’s something I can do!

So Sabby’s going to get me a dehydrator, and a roaster, and some molds, some cocoa pods (I don’t know what they’re called) and a few other things I’ll need.  Maybe I won’t be a chocolatier – but I’ll try!  And no one can say I don’t love chocolate!  Because I do!!!

I told Beth, and she said “Well… I can’t think of anything you’d be happier doing.”  Maybe she’s right.  And I get to eat my product!!!  I win!!!

Marie’s whining, gotta take her out.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And there’s a little subscriber content in this post.  You know the drill – it’s only for 13 or older, and nothing story affecting is in there.

Last night, we did make a girl-pile, and Beth and Crystal were all snuggly.  It was cute.  I know some of you might be thinking they’re something they’re not… but they’re not.  They’re just best friends, and I think even sisters now.  I mean, I’m all snuggly with Beth sometimes too, does that make us that?  No, it doesn’t.  I even asked Beth about it and she says she likes boys, so hah.  Stop that, you silly-billies.

Jack and I went on a date today!!!

We didn’t do anything big.  Grace and her family went out to have an event, and left us to do our thing.

We went to the mall, and just walked around holding hands.  He seems a lot more comfortable when it’s not three or four girls all squealing and trying stuff on.  And then we went to the food court at the Korean supermarket and had some really good stuff!!!

I’ asked Jack if he wants to go to church with me tomorrow.  He doesn’t seem too interested, but then, in some ways, I’m not either, so maybe we can be not interested together.  I’m not going because I believe it all.  I’m going because they want to be my family.

Like Jack does, I think.

Okay, bedtime, and Marie needs walked.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

… Crystal is here.  All the girls are here.

I’d like to say it was a happy, cheerful night, like it used to be.  But it wasn’t.  Not really.  I mean, we were all happy to see her, and she got treated like a queen in many ways.  Sabby made her a cake (one of the really chocolatey and decadent ones), and…  we went upstairs, and it all kind of went to heck.

Beth was not happy with her.

It’s not that Beth hates her.  She doesn’t, not at all.  I don’t think she would be near this upset if she hated her.  But she was kinda snapping at Crystal a bit.  Crystal just sat there with her eyes downcast, and Beth just… kinda laid into her.  In fact I thought she was going to slap her a couple of times, but she didn’t.  Diana and Liz and I just kinda sat there and let her.  She needs to get it off her chest, and it’s not really about us.

But then Crystal started crying.

Beth just kinda deflated and sat down on the side of the bed, and just said, quietly, “I thought I’d lost you.”

Crystal just quietly sobbed.

Beth wrapped her arms around her and started crying.

And the rest of us just went downstairs for a snack.

A few minutes later they came down.  both of them were sniffling, but they seemed to have worked it out.  We all had another piece of cake, and now we’re getting ready to make a girl-pile.

I missed Crystal.  We all did. She told us about her time in the inpatient program.  Apparently she made a few friends, and has a support system if she needs it.

That’s good.  I don’t know when we’ll get the old Crystal back.  Or the old Beth.  But this is a really good start.

Tomorrow we’ve got much to do, so it’s time for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

So Crystal’s out of her therapy program for now, but she’s on some medicine and still has a lot of work to do.

I hope she can come over tomorrow.

But I’m worried.

The thing is, that none of the bad stuff that happened to her, was her fault.  Whose fault was it?  Well, her family ended up homeless.  Could they have made different decisions?  Could they have made better decisions?  Did she have to be homeless?  Couldn’t her family have found her a place to live for the short term?  I can’t help but feel that someone messed up bad somewhere, and she’s the one who had to deal with it.

And the past is the past, but is it?  Are they one or two paychecks away from being homeless again?  We can’t let that happen!  Not to Crystal!  Not again!

So I’m worried.  Are we helping Crystal fix her problems, just to throw her into the deep end again if or when things go south?

And what if Dave were to lose his company, and Sabby’s business were to not work out, and we were to lose our house.  Where would we go?  What would we do?

It’s in the news today that a lot of tech companies are laying people off.  Twitter’s going to lay 2,500 people off tomorrow, and a couple of other companies are too.  We seem to be fine now, but what if we’re not?  Will I end up in a homeless shelter, with creepy men doing bad stuff to me too?  What if I hadn’t been taken in by Dave and Sabby?  Maybe I would be in a homeless shelter, and what then?  Am I just really really lucky?  It hurts to think about.

I mean, I’ve got that trust that I somehow got and probably don’t deserve, so there’s that, but still.  I’m worried.  It’s too easy for everything to fall apart.

I think…  I think I might know a little how Beth feels.

Love you all!!! ❤