Series: 19 - January 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s a new year!!!

And this morning everyone was conked out.  We all went to bed around 1 AM after watching all the fireworks, and woke up this morning very late.  I didn’t even run, it was that late.  Turns out Ai likes the girl-piles (she says we’re soft and smell nice – see, that’s what I’m saying!) but Jack and Grace went home after midnight.  Grace was already conked out, but she had a good time.

Allison’s mother picked her up this morning.  I guess she had a good New Years too, she looked bleary.  Hahaha!!!

Diana and Crystal went home a bit later, and now it’s just Ai, Beth, and me – and David, of course.  Sabby’s tired.  The shop’s closed today.  She thinks everyone deserves a break after how hectic the holiday season was.  We did very well.  Very well.

Oh, speaking of the shop, did I tell you cat-girl got in trouble?  It was partly our fault.  She decided to wear a… very revealing… costume for new years while holding the sign outside.

Girl caused a couple of accidents.

After the second one, the police very nicely and professionally told her she was causing a public nuisance and that she’d better get indoors and put on something a little less…. distracting.

We’re not gonna fire her, but Sabby sat her down before the shop closed yesterday and told her in no uncertain terms that she’d better be a little more professional – that she understands that she brings in a lot of business and we appreciate that, but that we can’t have people suing us for causing accidents on the main street.

She was unhappy but she understood.

Sabby told her that because the holiday season is over and it’s getting cold out, she’s not to stand outside with a sign anymore, but she can wear fun costumes while dooting if she wants, as long as the costumes are only a little sexy.

She perked up a little.  Sabby even offered to compromise and put a sign on the windows while she’s working saying “See our cosplay cashiers!!!”.

Truthfully, it seems like a gimmick, but I can’t deny that that girl sells stuff.

So otherwise, we’re spending a pretty quiet day today after the party.  Ai leaves in a couple of days, so we’re just kind of taking it easy.  Ai really liked the party last night, she says that Japanese don’t have those kinds of parties, and it was really fun.  Oh, did I tell you?  She got her kiss!!!!!!

It was her first kiss, and she was floating after.  Hahaha!!!  She knows she probably won’t see him again, but she did get his contact info, and they’re going to keep talking, so who knows!!!

Truthfully, that’s probably too wide a gulf, but let the girl have her vacation romance!!!

The funny thing?

He gave her a headpat too!!!

Hahaha!!!!

I think she liked that more!!!!

Okay!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

HI! It’s me! Lily!!!

Ai’s in Houston!!!  Awww.

So this morning we helped Ai pack, and then we threw her a goodbye pizza party!!!  She never had American pizza, so we got a few different varieties, and some soda, and pigged out!!!

OMG it was good!!!

Oh, and we invited a few people.  Jack, Grace, and Clint.  Jack and Grace because, well, Jack, and he brought Clint so he could (ahem) say goodbye to Ai properly.  And Grace because, well, she’s Grace and everyone loves her.  And she likes Ai and pizza, so it all worked out.

Ai likes Hawaiian pizza.  She says the other kinds are good, but that’s her favorite.  I told her that that’s a contentious topic in America.  She shrugged.  “Some gaijin don’t like sushi either.  Their loss.”, she said matter-of-factly.  You’ve never seen such a face of bliss as when Ai sunk her teeth into a piece of Hawaiian pizza.

Honestly, I couldn’t argue.  We all have different tastes.

So she gave Clint a (rather long and slightly scandalous) goodbye kiss and told him to keep writing her or else, and he laughed, and said he would, and gave her a much less scandalous but surprisingly affectionate headpat.  That always makes her giggle, and swoon a bit.  She gave Grace a hug and kiss on the cheek, and Grace cried a little.  But she’s five, she’ll cry at anything, so I told Ai to not feel too bad about it.  And Jack bowed and said it was really nice to meet her.  She gave Marie a few scratches too, and said she was serious about wanting a dog when she got home.  Marie happily licked her face in return.

Ai sniffled a little, and we packed all her stuff into the car, and Dave, Ai, and I drove to Houston.  It was Dave today because he took the day off (New Years Day celebrated), Sabby wanted to work at the store, and Sabby doesn’t want me driving that long by myself.  On the way I asked Ai if she enjoyed her trip.

She thought for a bit about what to say, and then said “Yes, I enjoyed it very much.  Texas is a beautiful place, there are many things to do, people are very friendly, and…  and I’ll miss it here.  A lot.  But Japan is home, and I will be glad to arrive back home, with my parents and my brother.  I love how you celebrate Christmas, and I’ll always remember New Years, and… and…  I know we will see each other again, but even if I don’t, I’ll miss you.”  And she sniffled and wiped her eyes.

Awww.

She said she’d miss Clint too and was really happy to meet him.  She doesn’t know if it will last – in fact, she expects it won’t because Austin to Japan is a long long way away…  but no Japanese boy would have kissed her like he did, and that will always be a good memory.  Her parents might not be happy, so she might not tell them.  You don’t tell them either!!! All of you!!! Keep it to yourself!!!  Hahaah!!!

She even says she’ll miss David, strangely enough.  I asked her why.  She said, because he was honest.  That surprised me, but I guess I can see it.  For all the drama he caused, he was honest about it.  She said Hiroshi is a lot more reserved and she’s not always sure what he’s thinking, but she knows what David is thinking.  Hmm.

Even if it’s about her body.  Sigh.

She respects that kind of forthrightness.  It beats tatemae and honne.  She’d rather he didn’t, but she still respects it.

I think I’m going back to Japan this year.  I have to.  I have to.  It’s… it’s home too, you know?  It’s where my birth mother is from, and my aunt and my cousins and…  and I can’t stay away.  But next time I think I’ll just stay in Saitama or Tokyo and not go traipsing all over the country.  That was fun but it was exhausting.

Anyway, eventually we showed up to Emiko’s house.  She’s going to stay a day there, and then Emiko will take her to the airport.  It’s not just because it’s more convenient, but Emiko wanted a little time with her too, and Ai thought that was perfectly fair.  I wonder what they’ll do tomorrow – I’m sure there’s lots of stuff to see in Houston.  And Aika and Mika should have a little time with their cousin as well.

So Ai’s at Emiko’s right now.  I miss her.  A lot.  She’s family, y’know?  I mean, Dave and Sabby and Beth and David are family, but Emiko and Ai and her parents and Hiroshi… they’re also family.  Just like Robert and his wife and Rebecca.. though I don’t know them.  I hope they’re family too.  I mean not just actual family, but…  real family.

I have a lot of family.  So much more than I had when I was found by the side of the road in 2020.  I…  maybe it was a fair trade after all.  My memories, for all the people I love.  Maybe it’s a fair trade.  I’m not sure I ever want my memories back if it means I have to give them up.

And you all as well!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

It’s 2023, and it’s quiet.  Ai is in Houston having fun with Emiko and Aika and Mika – she leaves tomorrow.  She said they took her to the beach at Galveston, and on the way back they had a nice dinner downtown.  That seems like a nice time.  She said it wasn’t as nice a beach as in Japan, but the water is warmer!!!

So I renamed my site last night! It’s Lily’s Amazing Life now!!!  Truth is, when I started this diary over a year ago, I just picked something available.  I didn’t like it much, but it worked!  But I thought about it, and after having another sore thinker, I thought it’d work better with a new name!

So I gave it one!!!

Setting it up with CDN and SSL and all that was tricky, though!  I don’t swear often!  I swore!!!  Awwww!!!!  Bad me!  Hahaha!!!

But it’s okay!  It’s done!!!  And my life is amazing?  Who else do you know that had cookies picked up by a military helicopter???

I might redo the site itself soon too, or at least update it, but that’s for later.  Maybe next week.

David kind of misses Ai too.  I think he had a little crush!  Well… I guess that’s normal.  It wasn’t returned, though.  He didn’t seem to like it when she kissed Clint, but he didn’t make a big deal.  I guess he knew that’s all it was, and besides, he has two girlfriends anyway.  Right?

Kid’s a player.  Sigh.

Break’s almost over.  Back to school soon.  Aww.

Okay!  Time to brush hair and walk Marie and avoid Cat!  Hahaha!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Holidays are NOISY!!!

And it doesn’t feel as noisy anymore.

I like not noisy sometimes.

Ai is on her way back to Japan.  I don’t know if she’s made it yet, but she did say she safely got to the airport, so she’s on her way.  I’m sure she’s happy to be home.  I’ll miss her, but I know how it feels to want to be back home, too…  so I’m sure she’ll be happy to be there.  She said she’s going to ask for a dog.  I don’t know if she’ll get one, but can’t hurt to ask, right?  She loved Marie.  Not even Liz gets along with Marie that well.

Actually, Marie seems to miss her.  She’s a bit mopey.  I took her for a long walk today and she perked up a bit, but I can tell she misses her.  Awww.  Poor Marie.  But she’ll get over it, we all do, and we’ll throw the toy and give her treats until she forgets all about Ai!

… that’s kind of how humans work, too.  Aww.

Otherwise, it’s just a boringly boring day.  The holidays are winding up, and school will start soon, and…  back to the grind, I suppose.  It was fun while it lasted, right?  It was fun.

Dave’s birthday is coming up!  I always have the hardest time figuring out what to get him!!!

But I have some ideas…

Okay!  Short post today!  But that happens on boringly boring days!  Like today!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I’m going to take a break from posting today.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it’s FRIDAY!!!

 I did payroll today and did all the financial stuff.  That’s my job!!!  Sabby double checks me but I have software that helps and she mostly just leaves me to it.  I just put in their hours and out pops paychecks!  It even handles direct deposit!  It’s great!!!  But we’ll have taxes to do for last year now!!!  We’re going to hire a real accountant for that!!!

Gotta give forms to everyone so they can file theirs, and send witholdings, and all that fun stuff!  It’s complicated!!!  But nothing we can’t handle.

I learned a lot at school!!!

But other than that…  Ai’s back home, and she’s happy to be home!!!  But she loved Texas too!  I mean, who doesn’t?  We’ve got a lot to love!  We’ve got.. BBQ and pizza and horses and cowgirl hats and boots and…  Clint, apparently!!!  haha!!!  She’s kinda heartbroken!  But that’s alright, they’ll figure it out, or not.  At least she got a kiss out of it!

Oh and she’s going to get a dog!!!  Turns out Hiroshi wants one too!  So they’re going to get a nice dog.  Maybe a shiba inu?  They’re cool dogs, and very smart too.  Or should I say, much smart very dog wow.

Jack and Crystal and Diana and Liz are back at school now, and next Monday I’m supposed to start doing some school stuff, though my ACC classes don’t start until like the 17th.  But right now, it’s Friday!

Honestly, though, I wanted a quiet Friday.  So Beth is up in her room with her friends, and Liz is over, but we’re just kinda taking it easy.  No big girl-pile tonight.  I’m just not in the mood.  I’m not depressed or anything like that, I’m just… well, we’ve done so much stuff over the past couple of weeks.  Christmas, New Years, Ai, all that stuff..  running around, getting presents, eating food, working at the shop…  just so much stuff.  I…  I’m just not in the mood.

I love my friends.  I do!  But…  I’m tired.

Liz can snuggle with me though if she wants.  She can always snuggle with me.  She’s my BFF.  I love her.

Okay, time for bed!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And what an awful night!

Well, today was alright.  Had breakfast, had a run, walked Marie, you know the usual.  Spent a bit of time at the shop, wanted to see how Katie was doing (she’s fine but a little anxious).  You know, the usual.  No, it became awful tonight.

Jack and I went on a date.

That wasn’t what was awful about it.  Well, not directly.  We had a nice meal and were heading back to his house.

The car got a flat.

We were driving down the tollway in his car and it just went BOOM.  He pulled over to the side, and the cars were whizzing by, and it was SCARY.  He didn’t know what to do, but I did!

Dave taught me!!!

I told him to either stay in the car or watch me, I rummaged through his trunk and found some flares, which I lit and put down.  Then I grabbed the jack and the stand and the donut, loosened the nutty things, replaced the tire, and tightened everything down.  Then I put everything back in his trunk and told him we need to get home via surface roads, Dave told me you can’t go fast on donut tires.  So we got off the next exit and made our way back.

He didn’t really say much to me.  He seemed angry for some reason.

I asked him what I did wrong.

He said “nothing”.  But that’s all he said.

We got back to his place, he gave me a quick kiss, told me goodnight, and went inside.  I just watched him go, got in my car, and went home.

He hasn’t talked to me since.

I don’t know what I did wrong.  I really don’t.

I asked Dave what I did wrong.

Dave just sighed and said “he’s probably embarrassed that he didn’t know how to do it and is taking it out on you.”

Well, then, he should have learned how to do it!  It’s not hard!  You just do this and that and loosen nutty things and tighten nutty things and all done!  But…  maybe Dave’s right.

It’ll be okay, I guess.

But I’m still hurt.  I didn’t do anything wrong.

I did give Dave a big hug, though, for teaching me how to do that.  He was right.  He’s always right.  Except when he puts cayenne pepper in chocolate.  Ewwww.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

We went to church this morning.  It was kinda boring, as it usually is.  The pastor had a lot to say about things that didn’t make a lot of sense, but…  I think his heart’s in the right place.  It can’t be easy trying to pastor a congregation where there are so many different people and personalities.  Like mine!!!

But it’s nice when all the old ladies give you a hug and ask you how you are, and tell you you’re a sweet girl.  And sometimes they even have cookies in the foyer, which is nice.  Or is it a narthex?  Dave taught me that word.  There are so many weird words in church.  It’s not a bad place…  just a bit boring sometimes.

In fact, the pastor actually asked me how it could be less boring.  I told him I’d have to think about it.  I mean, there are certainly ways it could be less boring.  Skydiving off that big ol’ cross?  Hahaha!!!  But I think he meant less boring in a churchy way, which is boring but not churchy boring.  Or something like that.  I wish… they’d use words I could understand.  We’re not all theology majors!!!  Right?

But it’s also kind of lame when they start trying to be “relevant”.  That just leads to “rapping for Jesus”, which is the most cringe thing ever!!!  Ewww!!! Hahaha!!!

Maybe…  they could just tell me why I should believe?

Oh well.

Anyway… I’m sure you didn’t want to hear about that.  You wanted to hear about Jack!!!  Well…

Okay.  After church, his mother messaged me and asked me to come over.

I was…  ummm…. nervous, obviously.  I know I didn’t do anything wrong, but what did he tell her?  Did she know that?  I mean, I’ve never seen him lie, but…

Anyway, I went over, and I took Sabby too.  Because, quite honestly, if I’m going to have a confrontation with his mother, I’m not going unarmed.  His mother seemed a bit surprised.  I just said “I don’t know why you called me here, and quite honestly, I don’t know if I’m going to need support.”

His mother shook her head.  “No, no.  Nothing like that.”  Jack was sitting on the couch looking a bit sullen.  We sat down.  “I’m not going to always be able to settle your disputes, but Jack here -” she looked over at him – “Is being a bit of a child, and if he’s going to act like a child I’m going to treat him like one.  So he tells me that you had a flat last night?”

I nodded.

“And that you were able to replace the tire and get home safely?”

I nodded again.

“Well, Jack, why don’t you tell her what you told me?”

Jack turned red, but stayed silent.

“Yes, Jack,” I said.  “I’d like to know why you’re so mad at me.”

He sighed.  “I’m supposed to be the boy, and I didn’t even know how to fix a tire.”

“What do you mean, you’re supposed to be the boy?”

“I… I didn’t feel like a man when you fixed the tire and told me to just watch.”

I sighed.  “So what do you want me to do?  Just stay by the side of the road and pretend I don’t know how to do it while you fumble around and maybe get hurt?  Oh, I do declare!”, I said, and exaggeratedly fainted on the couch, “How could little ol’ me know how to fix a tire?” 

Sabby choked off a giggle.

“Well, if you’re going to be like that, Lily,” he said, his voice raising slightly. 

His mother raised her hand.  “Well, what do you want her to do about it, Jack?  She knew how to do it and you didn’t.”

He deflated.  “It just makes me feel… like I can’t take care of you.”

“Why do you think you need to take care of me?,” I asked.

His father spoke up.  “That’s what men do,” he said quietly.  “We take care of our women.  And we don’t like it when we can’t.”

Ohhhhhh.

I think I get it now.

“Well, we like taking care of our men too,” I said quietly.  “Sometimes you’re going to take care of me, and sometimes I’ll take care of you.  Is it so bad that sometimes that means I’ll do light car repairs?”

He sighed.  “I…  I guess not.  How can I take care of you if I can’t even change a tire?”

I blushed.  I certainly wasn’t going to say the first thing that popped into mind.   I settled for the second.

“You…  you buy me chocolate, Jack.”

“That’s not taking care of you!”

“Jack, you know how much I like chocolate.  If I had to choose between you and chocolate… I’d choose you, but I’d always be fantasizing about the other food getting in between us.”

He chuckled.

“But you buy me chocolate because you know how much I like it.  That’s taking care of me.  You do fine.  But sometimes I’ll take care of you and you have to let me and not get upset about it.”

“Why don’t the two of you take a walk, and we’ll chat with Sabby for a while?”

So we did.  Sabby loves Grace anyway and Grace wanted to show her a drawing, so it worked out.

It was a nice day.

I told him the…. other ways he takes care of me, and that if he learns how to change a tire I’ll let him do it next time (because quite frankly I’m actually happier sitting in the passenger seat eating chocolate while he does all the work) and he needs to not get upset with me when I know how to do something he can’t, because I know how to do lots of things he can’t.  Like I can make chocolate, and do car repairs, and build small electronic gadgets, and accounting for my business, and basic money management, and frankly I could probably beat up anyone he needed me to.  But he can…  be Jack.

That’s all I need him for.

But of course if he wants to learn how to do things I can’t, he should.

Like playing the trombone.

I can’t play the trombone.

But I guess I can see why he might feel inferior.

I don’t want him to feel inferior.

We’re okay for now.  He knows he was being immature.  And I probably could have handled it a little bit better – I just took charge and could have been a bit more sensitive of his feelings.  I mean, I could have taught him how to do it, but let him actually do the work.  He still might have been upset but at least he would have felt like he was doing something.  but..  we’re seventeen.  I guess we’ll be immature sometimes.  I know I can be.

Aww.

And he is a little traditional.  I knew that.  I’m not going to stop being a smart and capable girl.  I just am.  But…  he needs for me to need him.  I guess… I guess I understand that.

But I do need him.  I really do.

I have a lot going for me.  I’m…  through no fault of my own, pretty much independently wealthy at the moment.  I could go to any college I want (that would have me).  I can play piano, I can speak some Japanese, I can do martial arts, I can make chocolate…  I can even ride horses.  I’m not going to say I’d trade it all for Jack, because I wouldn’t.  But…  but I want him there with me.  And he’ll find that thing he can do that I can’t, and it will make both of us stronger.

I hope… this doesn’t become a problem again.

But it’s okay now.  So there’s that, I guess.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And today was actually good!!!

So it started out normal.  I went to the shop with Sabby, and helped out today.  Truthfully, there wasn’t much else to do, and I figured they could use the help.  It’s quite a bit slower right now, because the holidays are over, buuuuuut cat-girl started something interesting.  The shop is becoming known for a cosplay-friendly place.  So cat-girl sits behind the counter wearing costumes, and people walk in wearing costumes, and they spend a little time talking about their costumes!!!  I’m…  honestly not sure how I feel about this.  But it’s one way of getting a good client base, and they do buy cookies.

Even if they say cliched anime things while buying their cookies.

We’ve unwittingly stumbled into something kind-of-but-not-quite like a maid cafe.

Sigh.

Here’s the funny thing – Ai told her friends back in Japan about our cookie shop, and some of them told their friends – and now we have a bit of a cult following in Japan.  Nothing like KFC, but we keep getting mails in Japanese asking if we can ship to Japan.  I… don’t actually know how to respond.  I mean, I can write responses, but.. .how do we even do this???

I told Katie and cat-girl that it’s probably in their best interest to learn some basic Japanese.

They don’t seem too interested, but I told them if this keeps up, we’re getting Japanese tourists, and they should at least know how to greet them.  Then I said I’d teach them the basics.

They begrudgingly agreed.

I’m sure it’ll be fun.

But that’s not what made the day good.

Jack had the day off, and he wanted me to teach him how to change a tire!!!

So…  I did.  I showed him how to use the jack (haha, I already know how to use the Jack), and loosen the nutty things, and all that.  I also showed him how to change oil and do other basic stuff.

He picked it up quick.  He’s not a dumb guy.  Just no one showed him.

It’s nice spending time with him like that.

Okay.  I have a bit of a headache, so bedtime!!!

Love you all! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And today… is just a day.  Nothing big going on. Boringly boring.  I talked to Sabby about what to do about our Japanese fanbase, and…  she doesn’t know either.  It’s not like it’s a huge fanbase, just a few people that Ai told and their friends or parents or something, but…  they really like their cookies, I guess.  And then there’s my “benefactor” too…  I think we’re agreed that we don’t want to grow too quickly, but we do need to grow.  Maybe I can talk Sabby into going on a business trip to Japan with me.

Wouldn’t that be something???

Maybe I should ask Robert.  He’s a marketing guy, so maybe he knows some things about business.

You know, I’ve been writing this diary for.. actually nearly a year and a half now.  And I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I’ve changed, how much my life has changed… since I was found, since I started the diary.  I remember when I was found, and Dave and Sabby took me in.  I had nothing.  I didn’t even have my memories.  I didn’t know who I was, how I got there, it was like a big blank.  And I told you about how I spent over a week just crying.  I was so sad, and so scared.  What would become of me?  Who was “me”, anyway?

But then I had social workers who actually cared, and Dave and Sabby took me in and adopted me, and I found out more about who I was and where I came from – and even got glimpses of my memory – and something about a red spider lily too.  And I learned how to drive, and they gave me a car, and I found out about Emiko, and went to Japan, and Jack and… so many things.  But…  but sometimes I wonder what’s actually mine, you know?  I have…  so many things, and so little at the same time.

I…  I owe them so much.  I owe everyone so much.  But my benefactor keeps saying I’m owed a debt too.  Who owes it to me?  And why it is such a huge debt that they can give me something like half a million bucks and still say I’m owed such a huge debt?  I don’t understand.  I’m grateful, but…  don’t understand.  What price did I have to pay, and don’t even know it?

And what would’ve happened if…. if I wasn’t found?  Would I be one of those nameless bodies they find by the side of the road and can’t even identify?

I’m a lucky girl… I’m an incredibly lucky girl.  And… and sometimes that makes me very sad.

Love you all!!! ❤