Series: 25 - July 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Life’s not fair.

Life’s really not fair.

Oh, I’m not saying it’s not fair to me.  It might not be, but I’ve got a pretty good life.  Something took all my memories, but now I have a good life.  Maybe that’s a fair trade.  But what’s fair for, say, Crystal?  Poor girl didn’t have a choice.  Her parents fell on hard times, they ended up in a shelter, she got, well, assaulted, and maybe none of that would have happened if she hadn’t been in the shelter.  But she was fourteen.  What could she do about it?  Run away and find herself in an even worse position?  It’s not her fault!

But she has to suffer for it.  And I think she is suffering.  She’s not talking to me, but when I heard about the kind of guy her “boyfriend” was…  there’s only two options there.  Either she was with him voluntarily and put up with his abuse, or she wasn’t and got dealt another bad card.

She just gets dealt bad cards all the time.

And what can we do about it?  Maybe her parents can do something… and maybe not!  Sometimes when she’s over you can see it in her eyes…  the hauntedness.  If that’s a word.  You can see the scared little girl.  And then it gets covered up with a dirty joke or…  or something else.  I mean, she’s nice, and she wouldn’t ever hurt anyone… but you can see it.

I wonder if people ever see that in my eyes.

I see it in Jack’s eyes sometimes.

I even sometimes see it in Sabby’s eyes.

Life’s not fair.

And even if I got a pretty good deal… for every me, there’s a Crystal.

Life’s still not fair.

I think I might go stare at a wall for a while before I go to sleep.  Maybe if I’m lucky I’ll cry a little.  Or… or a lot.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So I have news.

Last night, Sabby did her mother thing.  I guess she heard me crying, because she came in and let me cry on her chest.  It is so nice when she does that.  She’s so comforting.  We talked for a little while – I don’t know if she really understood what was bothering me, but she listened anyway.

So today I talked to a bunch of people.  First I talked to Robert, and made sure there was enough room for a couple more people.  Then I talked to Crystal’s parents.  I invited Crystal to Japan with us.

They were really…  not cool with the idea to begin with.  She’s supposed to be grounded.  She’s going to be rewarded with a trip?  But I said it wasn’t going to be like that.  It wasn’t supposed to be a reward, it was supposed to me a…  I couldn’t really find the right word.  She’s had a hard life, especially recently, and I thought it wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world to kind of make that up to her.

It took a bit, but I think they understood.  They said they can’t afford it.  I said I’d front them for the ticket, because after all it’s a charter flight and there’s plenty of room.  They just have to pay for her food and incidentals.  But, I said, the flight leaves sooner than later, so they’d better get her an expedited passport.

They still didn’t seem 100% happy with it, but I think they saw things from my point of view, and decided it would be a good experience for her.

I made the same offer to Diana as well, I didn’t want her to feel left out.  She already has a passport so that’s not as big an issue.

Sabby was a little upset with me, but I told her that I couldn’t think of a better use for a relatively small amount of money, and I trusted them to pay me back.  She agreed, but said she would front the tickets.  After all, the business is doing well enough that she can take a little profit out.

So, Crystal and Diana are coming along.

I think it’s the right thing to do.

No one else is, though.  I really want to take Jack, but his parents really don’t want him going overseas with me (and if you think about it, you’ll know why) and I have a very specific reason for wanting to bring Crystal along.

I got a chance to talk to Crystal too, to tell her the news.  She was still pretty upset with me but she also seemed oddly relieved – I think she got in over her head and she’s mostly too proud to admit it.  Then when I told her she’s going to Japan with us all the anger melted away,, and she squealed and hugged me.  Her parents told her that they thought it would be a good experience.

So…. that’s nineteen people in our little tour group.

Allison’s moving into her new house next weekend!  I’m going to help her family move – Japan is in a couple of weeks, so plenty of time.

I’m continuing to study Japanese too!!!  I’ll be even better this year!!!

Sabby and I have to send Robert a lot of money to pay for our seats and hotel…  but it’s worth it!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t write last night.  But I had a good reason.

Crystal came over.

Well, all the girls did, but Crystal especially.

She… ummm…  needed a big sister, I guess.  Beth is her best friend, but not her sister.

Diana and Liz came over too, but Crystal just wanted to talk to me.  So we found a quiet place and let them all play games for a while.

It turns out she was with her “boyfriend” by choice… and not by choice.  It was pretty complicated.  He started out by paying her lots of attention and she really liked it,  but he wasn’t a nice person and by the time she figured it out she was in too deep.  He… ummm… had pictures, and was threatening to make them public.

But she did like the attention, and…  I guess it was complicated for her.  When it finally came out she was mad, but… relieved because she knew he wouldn’t be able to hurt her anymore.

And he did hurt her.

Awww.

But she said he was nice in some ways too.  He…  well, he was, shall we say, “experienced”, and she, well, did like that I guess.  I mean, every girl wants a man who knows what he’s doing, right?  And, well, he did.  So there was that.  But it didn’t make up for the other ways he treated her.

I told her she was really irresponsible for getting herself in that position.  Of course, it was his fault, but he got the pictures somehow…

She started crying.

So all I could do was hold her.

She told me they had all the evidence they needed and she didn’t need to testify, besides, they don’t make underage victims testify unless they absolutely have to.  They have his behavior when he was confronted, they found the pictures (which in itself is enough to put him away for a long time, that’s very illegal), and they got a statement from Crystal saying what he did.  She was wondering if she could even go out of the country, but they told her the trial would be in a few months anyway even if they did need her, so have fun.  There’s that.

But I’ve rarely seen a girl cry that much.  It was like she’d sob, and then gasp, and then sob again, and then gasp again…  she was sobbing so hard she could barely take a breath, and it lasted for…  quite a while.  Poor girl.  Poor, poor girl.

So finally I took her back to the room and made her get in her pajamas, and then called for a girlpile.  But…  Crystal was to be the guest of honor this time.  So we all just got into bed with her and let her cry it out.  All of us.  Finally she fell asleep, and we all just stroked her hair, and were sniffling a bit ourselves.

Poor girl.

We woke up and she seemed a little better, but still morose.  Aww.

We went to the mall and bought Crystal a new outfit and lots of chocolate.  That…  helped more than you’d think.  People say women are complicated, but buy us stuff and give us chocolate…

All the girls went back home this afternoon.  It was too hot to really do anything anyway.  105 degrees?? Awww!!!

But I’m sad.  I’m sad for Crystal.  Everything bad seems to happen to her.  She’s way too young to have to deal with this stuff.

But on the bright side, the guy didn’t get bail.  He’s in jail right now.  And they tell me that people like him…  don’t have a good time in jail.

Good.

A part of me wishes he could see what he did to her.  A part of me wishes we all could hold him down and Crystal could kick him where it hurts.  But…  none of that will happen.  It never does.

Maybe that trip to Japan will help her.  I’m not sure how but I feel like it will.

I spent the afternoon after that over at Liz’s house… and frankly… I had to cry it out a bit as well.  It’s hard being a big sister sometimes.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

So this morning we all piled in the car and went to church, and Crystal and her parents were there.  She looked like she’d been crying, but she dressed in her new outfit and she was really pretty.  She’s actually really pretty, it’s just the haunted eyes, I guess.  The sermon today was about fresh starts, and halfway through she ran out sniffling.  I went out after her.  Her parents looked a little grateful, they were going to but I just whispered that it’s time to be a big sister.

They don’t really seem to mind that I take that role sometimes.  It’s not that they’re neglectful, but there are things you can talk to a big sister about that are a bit harder with your parents.  They seem to understand that.  They’re not bad parents…  I think a bit over their heads sometimes.  She can be a handful.

I found her crying in the corner of the narthex, on one of the red plush benches.  I sat down next to her and she clung to me.

“Do you… do you think it’ll ever get better?”, she asked.  “I…  I… ” snif “He’s talking about fresh starts, and…  and…  it’s all ruined.” She sniffled some more.  “It’s all ruined and I’ll never get it back.  Any of it.”  snif  “I’m ruined!”, she said, and started crying again.

I hugged her and thought for a bit.  “You’re only ruined if you think you’re ruined,” I said.  “Why do you think you’re ruined?”

“Because…  because I’m… I’m not a…”

Oh.  There it was.

“And you think no one will want you now.”

She nodded.

“Who told you that?”

“No one..  I…  I just…”

“You just what?”

“I…  I didn’t want any of it to be like this.  I wanted to meet someone and fall in love and get married and have two and a half children and… and that’s all gone now!”, she wailed.  Well, she wailed quietly, we were still in a narthex.

“You still can,” I said.  “Those two men already took a lot from you – don’t let them take more.  Meet a boy and fall in love and get married and have your two and a half children.  In fact…  you know… you should talk to Sabby.”

“Why?”

“Her story to tell… but she’s a lot like you.”

“She.. she is?”

Is this what’s been bothering her all this time?  I mean, I don’t blame her, but…

“She is.  I think I can tell you this much – she was a lot like you, and then she met Dave, and she knew she wanted him the moment she met him, and she won him over, and they’ve been married for years now and are very happy.   It’s not about your past, Crystal… it’s about your future.  Don’t let your past ruin you.”

She sniffled.

“It’ll be okay, Crystal. I promise that any boy worth having won’t care, he’ll just be happy to have you.”

Church let out at that moment, and my family and her family made a beeline for us.

“Are you okay?”, her mother asked her.

She wiped her eyes and smiled a little.  “I’m better.”

Her mother gave me a hug.  “Thanks for being her sister.  I… I wish we’d given her one now.”

Then there’d be two… no… don’t think like that.  “I take my sisters seriously.”

Crystal impulsively hugged me, and then they got up to go out to the car.  I looked at Sabby.  “She… she might have a question about how you met Dave.  Please tell her the story if she asks.”

“That’s a bit personal, Lily.”

“Please.” I said.  “She needs to understand that…  that she can still have the life she wants.  Even after…”  I let my voice trail.

Sabby’s face turned to one of understanding and she nodded.  “Let’s get some chocolate pancakes.”

And…  we did.  And they were delicious.

It was a boring and very hot afternoon.  It was too hot to go on a date with Jack to any place outdoors, so we just chatted onlilne and I talked a bit to Grace too, who’s having a pretty good summer break.  She likes her new house and has made some new friends too.  Yay Grace!!!

Last year around this time we left for Japan, but we’re leaving next week this time.  I’ll be home for Lily day!  Though I don’t know if we’re doing anything except the “shoving in of Chocolate” ceremony.

I love my sisters.  Have I told you that?  All of them.  Every single one.  Beth, Ai, Rebecca, Liz, Crystal, Diana…. even Allison.  All of them.

And you all too!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s TOO HOT!!!

It was 105 degrees today!!!

That’s too hot for anyone!!!

And it’s not even a dry heat!!!

But it is what it is.  It’s supposed to cool down a little bit by the weekend.  Hope it does.  I think some politicians melted.

Anyway…

So Crystal did come over today for a little while, and she and Sabby went up in a room and talked for a while.  When she came out, she gave me a hug, said “thank you”, Sabby fed her some lunch, and took her home.

That girl can really pack it away, did I tell you?

Other than that, it was a pretty boring day.  Beth and I went to the mall and had some yummy but bad for you food court food, and kind of wandered around for a bit.  Then we came home, I practice piano, Beth practiced singing, and it was a boringly boring day.

It’s Marine Day in Japan!!!  I remember last year on Marine Day we went to Enoshima!  What a nice place!!!  We’re all talking over trying to make a schedule, but with nineteen of us it’s proving to be a real challenge.  Well, eighteen – Robert’s going to be going off talking to clients.  He’s got business to do.  But the rest of us will be scattered to the four winds, as they say.  We’re actually considering making a few small groups and going off to do what interests us.  Like, we could have a waterpark group, and a rabbit island group, and a samurai castle group…  lots of things to see and do.  But we haven’t quite figured that out yet.  And of course I want to spend some time with Ai too – she and Hiroshi might come along on some of our tours, that would be fun.  Maybe even some of her school friends.  OMG it’ll be a crowd!!!

But crowds can be fun!!!

Ai actually has a couple of school friends who are curious about gaijin like us, so she wants to at least introduce us.

I’ve been teaching Rebecca and group some basic Japanese words.  You know..  sumimasen, arigatou, kusodasai…  haha!!!  Just kidding about the last one.  Yu is soaking it all up, I think she has an inner weeb she didn’t know about.

Anyway, I guess bedtime.  It was an emotional weekend.  I think sleep is a good idea.

Love you all!!! ❤

HI! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s still too hot!!!

But other than being too hot, it was a boringly boring day.  I went down to the shop to catch up a bit, everyone’s getting ready for that catering event I was telling you about.  All the girls showed me their maid outfits – they were cute!!!  I think even the other girls liked them.

They sure do like dressing up.

Anyway, I kinda camped out in the back and did some accounting stuff, we have to take all the records to the accountant soon to do quarterly taxes…  quarterly taxes suck.  Aww.

I’m going to take Crystal to the thrift store soon to pick up some stuff for her trip.  She needs a suitcase and a few other things, and buying new just doesn’t make sense.  So I guess we’ll take care of that before we leave next week.

Okay, short entry tonight!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Everyone’s starting to get excited!!!

Diana and Crystal have barely been out of Texas, and come to think of it, that’s true for Beth and David too!!!  Rebecca, Yu, Britni, Chelsi, and Kari have barely been out of California (though Rebecca did come to Texas to see me play) and Dave and Sabby have never been to japan.  So they’re really interested in seeing what it’s like!!!

I told them it’s really fun!!!  But I’ve been giving everyone a crash Japanese lesson.  I think I mentioned that.  You know, how not to get in trouble, that kind of thing.  But Emiko’s going too, and so between she and I and maybe Ai, we have tour leaders!  Hahaha!!!

I told Beth about wan wan land and she really wants to see it!!!

So anyway, we’re doing shopping and making sure we have everything we need!!!

Crystal seems to be doing a bit better.  I hope she has fun in Japan.

I’m going to bed!!! Goodnight!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

I didn’t write yesterday because we shopped till we dropped!  Liz, Crystal, Diana, Beth, and I went all over the place and bought stuff we needed!  We took Crystal to the thrift store to pick up a suitcase and maybe an umbrella and other things she might need.  We picked up a few things too.  Then we all packed in and went to the mall to pick up things the thrift store didn’t have.  We had so much to buy!!!  Awww!!!

But it worked out and everyone has what they need now.  Sabby took David on his own trip, so it all worked out.

After we got home we all pigged out on pizza!!!

Tonight we just kind of chilled out, watched a movie, ate popcorn and chocolate, and we’ll make a girl-pile tonight!!!  Those are always fun!!!

Crystal’s doing a lot better.  Especially because some guy was flirting with her a little at the mall.  It was cute.  She’s a little guarded, obviously, but she seemed pretty pleased that she “had it”, I guess.  She got her passport today, so we’re ready to go.

So tomorrow we’re going to help Allison and her family move, and then on Sunday we’re all hopping on planes to LAX so we can all make the plane on Sunday afternoon!!!  One of the great things about a charter flight is, it leaves when we’re ready, and not before!!!

Though we should really leave on time because waiting crew still charges.

We found a family who will take in Marie for a couple of weeks, and come and make sure Cat has food and water, and check in on the house too.  We promised them something fun from Japan and a few bucks.  Katie and the Baker are all ready to take care of the store while we’re gone, Dave has someone to take over for him while he’s gone, and, well, it’s all in hand.

We’re going to Japan!!!

Yaaaayyyyy!!!!!

Alright!!!  Girl-pile time!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Yesterday was my two year anniversary of this diary!!!

Can you believe it???

Two years!!!

I don’t remember exactly when I was found, but I’m pretty sure it’s about three years since then!!!

Wow!!!!

Happy anniversary to me!!!

I was going to do something for it last year but I never thought of anything good!! AWWW!!! But this year… I’m going to Japan!!! And I’ll have lots of stories and adventures to tell about!  So it’ll be okay!!!  And since the family’s coming along, I’ll be able to celebrate Lily day there too!!! At least the chocolate will get shoved in!!! Hahaha!!! What a silly ceremony!!!

We leave for Japan tomorrow!!!  So… I’ll probably either write from LAX…  or the plane if it has wifi… or… well… I’ll write from something!!!

But today we went over to help Allison and her family move.  They have a very nice house and they needed to get some stuff moved, so we took our car and loaded it up with boxes a few times!!!  Allison showed me her moon night light, I guess it’s her favorite thing.  It’s pretty!  Maybe I’ll get one too!!!

I didn’t know she had one of those beds with a space underneath for studying!  It’s nice!!!  I wish I had one!!! But… I have some pretty nice things already, and my 18th day is in about a month, so…  it doesn’t make all that much sense to invest in a lot of new furniture.  But it’s okay!  I like my bed!  It’s soft and warm and smells like me!!!

And I smell pretty good, if I say so myself!!! Except after I run.  Then I smell pretty bad.  Aww.  Nothing a shower doesn’t fix though!!!

And I’m still not telling you silly-billies what I smell like!!!

So next time I write I’ll either be in Japan or heading there!! I can’t wait!!! And the group chat is really hopping too, everyone is planning and talking about what they want to do…  Chelsi wants to find a place to surf.  You know, I don’t even know if there’s a place to surf in Japan… though it’s at the ocean, so why not?  Yu wants to visit some shrines and learn about the culture.  I’m not sure she’s Japanese but hey, no reason why not!  Kari wants to see Tokyo Tower and the Sky Tree, and Umeda Sky Tower, she likes buildings and architecture.  I think she wants to see Seto Ohashi too, but truthfully I’m not sure if we can see EVERYTHING.  Maybe she’ll be happy with the rainbow bridge and the Statue of Liberty replica in Odaiba. Britni…  I’m not sure she’s quite figured out where Japan is, but she asked if there’s a Disneyland there.  There is, so… she wants to go there.  Not a bad idea, actually, though probably expensive.

I’m not sure what Crystal and Diana want to see…  I think Crystal’s just happy to get away for a while, and Diana’s promised to make some tacos for Ai and family.  That’ll be fun!!!  I wonder if they’ve ever had real life Mexican tacos!!!

Of course David wants to see Shinjuku, Harajuku, and Akihabara… of course he does.  There’s also some really nice parks in Tokyo we can see, including Ueno Doubutsuen (the zoo).  But I guess the real challenge right now is just getting there, and the rest will take care of itself.

Okay, I need to get some sleep, I’m tired from helping Allison move and tomorrow’s going to be a lot of driving and flying!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And we’re over the Pacific Ocean!!!

The plane has Starlink!!!

Yay Elon!!!!

So we got up really early this morning and drove down to the airport, all…  eight of us.  We got through security and flew to LAX.  We were really tired but it was a pretty ordinary flight.  We landed and caught up with Emiko and family (I haven’t seen them for a while!) Then we found Robert…  and went through a door and right to the charter plane!!! No lines!!!

It’s amazing!!!  It’s got plush seats and wooden trim and nice bathrooms and even a selection of snacks we can put in the microwave!!!  There’s no dinner service of course but this is almost as good!!!  David loves all the snacks!!!  It’s not a huge plane, just a standard corporate jet, but still very nice compared to the cattle haulers we were in going to LAX.

The pilots are really nice, they even let David in the cockpit to see what they’re doing!!!  But he was told if he touches anything, he’s in big, big trouble.  He didn’t touch anything.  Even he knows when it’s a good idea to listen to adults.  Because it’s such a long flight, the pilots are taking turns flying, and one came out and chatted with us for a while before taking a nap.  He’s really nice and explained a lot about how planes work!  It’s fascinating!!!

I asked him why pilots say “uh” all the time when doing the in cabin announcements.  He laughed and said that there’s usually a lot of stuff going on in the cockpit when it’s time to land and their attention is on many things other than just talking to the passengers.  You know, putting down the landing gear, making sure we are aimed at the runway, that kind of thing.  I’m glad they are!!!

We’re arriving in Tokyo in a few hours.  We’re staying in Asakusa!!!  We’ll have four hotel rooms, one for me, Liz, Beth, Crystal and Diana…  one for Rebecca and her friends… one for Dave, Sabby, and David, and one for Robert and his wife.  It works out pretty well.  And us girls have adjoining rooms too, so we can have a big girl-party if we want!!!

David seems relieved he’s with Dave and Sabby, honestly.

There’s this hostel place we were looking at that has eight bunk beds, but there are ten girls, and we didn’t want anyone feeling left out, so we asked if we could do it this way, and Robert said yes.  He’s getting a corporate discount, he’s going to take a few days too, and… Asakusa has an amusement park!  Right in the middle of Tokyo!!!

Oh… ummm…  Crystal’s crying.  I should go see what’s going on.  Diana and Beth are comforting her, but I should check anyway.

Love you all!!!  And I’ll write again when we’re settled in!!!  ❤

(Crystal’s alright. I’ll tell you later.  She’s just overwhelmed that something good is happening to her for a change.)