Tag: Liz

This diary entry is part 25 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY!!!

As with the past couple of days, a version of this entry that is only available to subscribers is up.  While this entry is as safe as possible for younger viewers, that entry is most definitely PG13.  Please sign up if you want to read it.  And as always, parents, please read first!

This morning everything was the same, but different.  I got kissed yesterday!  Not just a little kiss, but properly kissed!  Like in the movies!  I don’t feel any different today, but I feel very different at the same time.  Jack is such a nice boy and he kisses well too!

I went down for my run and Jack was there.  But I decided to just ignore him and run.  I think I attacked that treadmill like Grace did her waffle yesterday.  I just ran and ran until I lost track of time.  Until I felt a gentle touch on the small of my back.

I looked back, and there was Jack.  I removed my earbud.

“We’re getting breakfast soon.”

I nodded and started my cool down routine.  He looked at me with a look I couldn’t quite read.  It was a different look than yesterday.  There was a… sadness… in it I haven’t seen before.  Without another word, he sauntered out of the room.

Y’know, it’s funny.  When you first arrive at a new place everything’s so fresh and new, but eventually even the best things get old… or at least normal.  At breakfast, I went to the buffet, and actually got some stuff without chocolate.  I love chocolate!  I don’t want it to think I’m cheating on it!  But sometimes you just feel like eating something else.  I did get some hot chocolate, but I had some scrambled eggs and syrup, some sausage, and a couple of pancakes with fruit.  Still delicious.

Grace had a cut up waffle and a sliced up piece of sausage.  She was chattering about how great a time she had yesterday.

I was eating, and Jack said, quietly, “I read your site last night.”

I turned red.  I couldn’t help it.  “All of it?”

“All of it.  I even signed up as a subscriber.  I read that too.  Nice pic of you in your swimsuit, by the way.”

I blushed harder, and gulped.  “And…?”

“And I was right.  You’re amazing.”

Oh God I melted.  I just melted.  I turned into a little Lily puddle and felt like I was going to slide out of my chair and oh my God.

“I’m…  amazing?”, I said, not quite trusting my ears.

He nodded.  “You’re amazing.  You’ve been through so much.  So many tears,” he said quietly.  Everyone else at the table had stopped speaking and was listening to him, even if they were trying to pretend they weren’t.  He blushed a little, but soldiered on.  “So many tears, and you’re still amazing.”

I felt flustered.  “I…  I don’t know what to say.”

Liz’s mother spoke up.  “I think ‘thank you’ would be in order, dear.”

I lowered my head, not really embarrassed but just flattered at his words.  “Thank you,” I murmured.

Grace, thank GOD, spoke up right at that moment.  ‘I GOTTA POOP!”  The huge smile on her face completely belied the earth shattering importance of her statement.

We all laughed.  The tension was broken.  Her mother came and got her and took her to the bathroom.  I couldn’t look at Jack anymore.  I just couldn’t.  Every time I did, I blushed.

After breakfast, we packed up our swimsuits and beach stuff and packed ourselves into the car.  Jack and Liz traded places, so we could sit together.  Liz is being soooo nice about the whole thing, it’s amazing.  I asked her about that last night, and all she’d say was “You’ve been through a lot.  You need some good things in your life.  I don’t want to take this away from you.”

I love Liz.

Turns out Florida has lots of lakes, and quite a few around Orlando.  We drove to one of the larger ones.  The adults had all chipped in and rented a boat, and a nice one too.  Jack and I spent the entire trip there talking and holding hands.  He asked me about some of the stuff I’d talked about here, and I answered.  I couldn’t quite read the look on his face, but it was softer than yesterday, somehow.  Like there was some emotion that neither of us quite understood.  Every now and then he’d rub my hand with his thumb and I’d just melt.  He was just looking ahead and out the window and sometimes at me with that look that made me just crumble all over again…

Oh God, Sabby was right.  Sabby was soooooo right.  Liz’s mother was right.  Everyone was right.  I didn’t think I wanted a boyfriend but I’d give a lot to have this every day.

Oh no.  I’m in soooo much trouble.

Finally we got on the boat.  the lake was soooo beautiful and the air smelled soooo good!  I even forgot about Jack for a while!  We made our way back to the beach and I stripped down to my swimsuit and waded into the lake.  Liz and Jack and Grace and I splashed and swam and had such a great time!  Finally everything calmed down, and I laid in one of the sunbeds soaking up some sun.  I know the sun can be dangerous but it’s sooo nice.  Jack was near but he wasn’t within touching distance.  I flipped over, and suddenly I heard the squirting of suntan lotion and felt hands on my back.  I struggled to look and heard Jack’s voice.

“Ssssh,” he said.  “Your back needs sunscreen.”

Oh no oh no oh no oh… yes.  Oh yes.  I relaxed into the sunbed and turned to putty.  I think he kept going a little longer than he had to, but finally he stopped.  Why didn’t anyone tell me it was so nice to have your crush put suntan lotion on you?

“Do you need your legs done?,” he asked innocently.

“No.  Thank you.  I’m okay.”  He audibly shrugged and went off to catch some rays of his own.

After an hour or so, after I’d drifted off into a sleepy haze, he came over and said that it was time for dinner.  I got up and put my street clothes on, and we packed up and piled into the car.  He held my hand some more and it was the nicest thing ever.

After dinner we went back to the hotel.  Jack and I shared a goodnight kiss.  We both went back into our rooms.  Liz was practicing violin and would be for about an hour, and I…  I couldn’t think straight. I just kept thinking bout Jack, and how it made me feel when he was holding my hands.  I sighed and laid there, just trying to get a handle on how I felt.

It wasn’t love.  At least not really love.  I think we had gotten to know each other and we really liked each other and I think it could be something if we weren’t a thousand miles apart most of the time.  And that look he was giving me all day, it wasn’t just about my body, I’m sure of it.  He read this site and still thought I was amazing.  But today…  he held my hand and rubbed suntan lotion on my back and kissed me, and I loved it.  It made me want a boyfriend for the first time in my life.  That I can remember, anyway.

I hope he reads this tonight.  I hope he does.  We need to talk about it.

Edit:  He read it.  He texted me just two words before I went to sleep.  “I agree.”

LOVE YOU ALL!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 24 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY!

As with last time, there is a subscriber-only content in this post which has a little more detail geared towards teenagers and young adults.  This one is for younger readers.  As always, though, parents please do read first!

Such a confused Lily.

So last night after I wrote my post, I did my nightly stuff, got into my pajamas, and went to bed  Liz was already in bed and snoring in the other bed.  She’s even pretty when she sleeps!  It’s not fair!  It wasn’t too late, but it was a long day.

I was just settling in when my phone buzzed.  I looked at it, and there was a message.

Lily?

It was Jack!  OMG!!!  I forgot that we exchanged contact info that morning!

It’s me, I typed back.

There was a long pause.

Can we talk?

In the morning, I replied.

There was another pause.  Okay.  Goodnight.

Goodnight, I replied.  I put the phone down, turned out the light. and was asleep within seconds.

That morning, before my run, I texted Jack.

I’m in the lobby.  Come see me if you want to talk.

There was no reply, but five minutes later I felt someone sit down next to me.

“Hi,” he said, quietly.

“Hi,” I said.  My hands fidgeted in my lap.

“My father had a long talk with me last night.”

“Liz’s mother had a talk with me, too.”

He was quiet.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and the words just started gushing.  “I’m sorry Jack I know we just met but I’m so attracted to you and I don’t know why and I know it’s not love but I loved our time last night and I don’t want it to end and Sabby warned me and…”  a tear leaked out of my eye.  “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”  I wiped the tear away with the back of my hand and sniffled.

There appeared to be a war going on in Jack’s face.  So many different expressions were battling with each other.  Finally he turned his head and looked at me.  He looked just as uncomfortable as I felt.

“I didn’t either, Lily.  I’ve thought you were amazing since the first time I laid eyes on you.  There’s… just something about you.”  He sighed.  “This is so awkward.”

I giggled.  “Why would we think it’d be anything but?  Would it be like one of those books my sister is always reading, where the boy and the girl just see each other and it’s love at first sight and a year later they’re getting married?”  I scoffed.  “I don’t think it works like that.”

He took my hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.  If he did that much more I was going to just melt.

“There’s something here,” he said.  “Maybe nothing, maybe something, maybe everything.”  He looked at me, his eyes boring into mine.  “I’d like to find out.”

OMG.  His eyes.  His…  EEP!  He put his finger under my chin, lifted it, and pecked me on the lips.  Nothing deep, just a peck…  and it was everything.  He pulled his face back, and let go of my hand.  “I’d like to find out,” he repeated, then he stood up and went off to the exercise room.

I don’t think I moved for like five minutes, my mind was whirling and everything was spinning around all topsy-turvy, and you could have hit me with a feather and I’d have fallen over.  Finally I shook my head and ran off to the exercise room.  I had to get my exercise for the day.

Somehow I pulled myself together in time for breakfast.  Grace was a wonderful distraction anyway, she had another waffle that her mother had cut into little bites and put some fruit and syrup on it, and she was shoveling it down like an excavator on a construction site (how’s that for an analogy?). Between bites she was chattering on and on about all of the characters she met the day before.  Apparently she ran into Gaston and gave him a piece of her mind!  All the adults were laughing but she defended Belle’s honor like you wouldn’t believe!  Belle even came over and thanked her, but promised she had Gaston well in hand.  There’s no fury like an angry four year old!

After breakfast we went back to Disney World. This would be our last day there, but everyone agreed that one day wasn’t enough to see the whole thing.  This time Grace’s parents wanted a little time to themselves, so she was put in the care of me, Liz, and Jack.  As we walked around the park, she was chattering and bouncing around everywhere.  Every time she saw a character she liked she insisted  on going to talk to it.  We got her some ice cream (choc’late, of course) and she ate her ice cream and chattered and was just having a grand time.  A part of me was jealous, actually.  To her, the park was magic, it was real, and I didn’t remember any of that magic in my own life.

Jack could tell something was bothering me.  He didn’t know what, but he squeezed my hand anyway.  I gave him a grateful look.

This time we just had whatever lunch we felt like having.  So the four of us found a little fast food place and had some (honestly pretty good) burgers.  Grace got a kid’s meal, and was bubbling and burbling with happiness as she munched.

As we walked the park, I could tell Grace was getting tired, so I picked her up.  She fell asleep in my arms!  How adorable!  I had Jack call his parents and find a place to meet them so we could hand her off.  That accomplished, the sun was setting and it was time for the fireworks again.  Yet again, Liz had to use the bathroom, and I was seriously starting to think she was doing it on purpose.  Spoiler:   She absolutely was.

As the fireworks were popping off, he looked at me.  “Lily, do you remember this morning?”

“How could I forget?  You kissed me!  I couldn’t concentrate after that!  I… mmmmmmm.”  He kissed me again.

This time it wasn’t a peck.  It was a real, honest to goodness kiss.

It was soooo nice.  Finally, I laid my head on his shoulder and he stroked my hair.  It felt soooooo good.

“Lily?,” he said, quietly.

“Hmm?,” I said, my power of speech quite handily taken away from me.

“That was my first kiss.”

“Mine too.”

“Was it good?”

I chuckled and disentangled myself from him.  “Jack, I know for a fact I will remember that kiss for the rest of my life.”

He reached up and moved a stray wisp of hair out of my eye.  “So will I.”

The fireworks had just ended and Liz came running up.  “Hey!  Are you –  YOU KISSED, DIDN’T YOU?”

We both blushed mightily.

“YOU DID!!!!!  OMG!!!  Was it good?  Lily, you have to tell me all about it!!!”

I looked helplessly at Jack.  “It’s a girl thing,” I said apologetically.  He just waved his hand.

“Girls gonna girl,” he said sagely.  All of us cracked up.

Before we stood up, I whispered in Jack’s ear, “It was a wonderful kiss.  If you want to kiss me again…  I think I’d like that.”

He squeezed my hand and we both stood up.  We found the adults and took the shuttle back to the hotel.  We had a nice dinner, and then Liz went to practice violin.  Jack and I just sat in the lobby.  He held my hand but we didn’t dare kiss there.  We just talked.  We talked about everything.  I told him about what happened after I was found, and how Dave and Sabby adopted me, how Liz became my friend, and how Beth became my sister.  He told me how he was bullied in school, and had a few girls he liked but none of them like him, and how sad and lonely he was sometimes.  At one point during his story I gave him a hug.  He looked genuinely uncomfortable.

Turns out he doesn’t get many hugs.

I resolved to help him make up for lost time, at least for the next few days.  And I was going to talk to Liz’s parents about that too.

I showed him where to find this site.  That was a gamble on my part.  But I’m going to make it available to the public, at least I can make it available to my first crush.

Finally, it was time for us to go back to our rooms.  He walked me to mine.  He took my hand and gave me a very brief, gentle, but meaningful kiss.  Then he went off to his room.

I felt like I was floating.  Floating on air.  It was such a wonderful feeling.  He kissed me!  And we talked, and got to know each other, and…  it was soooo wonderful!  Why do I not want a boyfriend again?  I don’t remember!  Something about wanting to know who I am?  I still feel that way, but… but…  it’s so amazing!

Liz came in a little while later and demanded to know everything.  So we talked and giggled and I felt so much like a girl.  Like a real bona fide normal loved girl.

I called Sabby before bedtime and we chatted.  I told her everything.  She was a little concerned but told me that she knew I’d make the right decisions and that she trusts me.  She also told me that she was happy for me.  Every girl needs to have at least one vacation romance in her life, and she thinks I picked a good one.

So do I.

Goodnight!  Tomorrow we’re doing something different!!! 

LOVE YOU ALL!!!! ❤️ 

This diary entry is part 23 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

HI!  IT’S ME!  LILY! 

There is subscriber content available in this post.

Oh Florida is soo much fun!!!!  I’m so glad that Liz and her parents brought me along!  Even if some things are sooo confusing!

So this morning I put on my exercise clothes and went to the exercise room to run, because I don’t know the area here.  They have a great exercise room!  And there was Jack!  He was running too!  He had no shirt on and… and…  omg!  I avoided looking at him and found a running machine and started my exercise.

I forgot about him for a while and started running and zoning out like I usually do, it was just me and my music and my headphones, when I felt a tap on my shoulder.  I turned and looked, and it was him!  I took out a earbud and was still running.  He was watching me with what I can only describe as an enraptured look.  I’ve seen that look before.  It’s the same look I got when I lost my top at the waterpark.  Except this was more… personal, somehow.

“Yes?,” I said, trying to sound nonchalant.  Hard to do when you’re being stared at like a particularly fluffy piece of chocolate cake.

“Want to get breakfast?,” he said.  “They have a buffet.”

“Give me a half hour,” I said.  “I need to finish my run and cool down.”

He nodded.  “We’ll be in the dining area in half an hour.  Grace wants to say hi to her ‘auntie Lily’,” he said bemusedly.

“Why does she call me that?”

He shrugged.  “Ask her.  She’s four.  I don’t know why she does half the things she does.”

I nodded and put my earbud in, mentally dismissing him.  Or trying to, anyway.

A half hour or so later, after finishing my run and having a quick shower, I headed over to the dining area.  Everyone else was waiting for me, and Grace a little impatiently, and now that I was there, we went in and ordered the buffet.  So much food!  I know at some cheaper hotels they have free breakfast, but this one didn’t.  But it was soooo delicious!  They had such great food!  I was so happy, they had chocolate waffles and chocolate syrup and hot chocolate!!!  I sat down with my heaping plate, and Jack smirked at me.

“Like the chocolate, huh?”

I laughed.  “Don’t get between me and chocolate.  You might get whatever is in my way bitten off!”

“Noted,” he said, with a smirk.  Everyone laughed.  They think I was kidding.

Grace had a small plate of stuff, and she was wearing her mouse ears and a princess outfit, but with a towel over it so she didn’t get food everywhere.  She didn’t quite have using the fork down but she was good enough to get the food into her little mouth.  She was soooo excited. 

Jack asked me about myself, and I told him I didn’t have any memories past a year or so ago.

He frowned.  “No memories at all?”

“I know, I’m a freak,” I said quietly.  Where did that come from?

“No,” he said.  “I kind of envy you.”

I took a bite of chocolate waffle.  “You envy me?”, I said.

He nodded.  “The thing about memories is the good ones are really good and you want to keep them, but the bad ones you just want to get rid of and never think of again.  Like…  like getting rejected by girls,” he looked at me meaningfully.  “Or other things.  We all get the good ones and the bad ones, and we like the good ones and hate the bad ones.  But you…  you don’t get either.  You don’t get the good ones, but the bad ones are gone too.”  He frowned, and sipped on his orange juice.  “Maybe you got the better end of the deal.”

I frowned.  That was a really good way of thinking about it.  “Maybe I did,” I said quietly.  “But I still think I’d rather have them all.”

He nodded.  “I don’t think I’d want to give mine up,” he said.  “No matter how bad some of them are.  The good ones are better.”  He frowned.  “Like meeting you.”

“What do you mean?”

He looked shy.  “That’s a good memory.”  I blushed.

I asked him about himself.  He told me he lives up north, in Ohio or some place like that.  Where it’s getting cold and snows a lot.  He likes it there, but…  I don’t know.  When he talks about it, he seems a little sad.  Or lonely.  Or something.  He doesn’t seem poorly adjusted or anything like that, just…  just lonely.  I wonder what his story is.

I asked Grace what her favorite thing is.

“Choc’late,” she said, without even hesitating.  “I love choc’late.  Choc’late candy an’ choc’late milkthakes an’ choc’late thyrup an’ choc’late ithe cream an’ choc’late everything!” she said proudly.  She was so little she still had trouble pronouncing some words, and it was terribly cute.

“Me too!,” I said, beaming.  “I love chocolate too!!!”

She beamed.  “I like you auntie Lily.  You’re nithe”

“I’m not your auntie,” I said gently.

“No,” she said, “but you’re old an’ you’re nithe an’ I like you an’ I want to call you auntie.”  She declared it like it was truth and I was just along for the ride.  “Tho you’re auntie Lily.”

Jack spoke up.  “She doesn’t like everyone,” he said softly.  “I’ve learned to trust her judgement.  If she likes you, you’re worth liking.”  He turned a little red.  “That’s what I meant last night.”

“Well, then,” I said, “I’m honored to be your auntie Lily.”  My eyes were just a little moist.  What was happening to me?  “I think we’ll be good friends.”

“Friendth!”, she said, with a wide grin that showed a smile with most of her baby teeth.  She went back to attacking her waffle like it had insulted her and taken her teddy bear.

After breakfast we all packed up and took the shuttle to Disney World.  Grace was so excited she was bouncing around and chattering nonstop about how she wanted to meet Mickey and Minnie and Pluto and all her favorite princesses and other characters.  The thing was, to her, all those characters were real.  Utterly, completely real.  When she met them, she’d be meeting the actual characters, and it’d never even occur to her that they weren’t what they claimed to me.

That’s really the innocence of childhood.  It’s not just being trusting, it’s not being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.  I sniffled a bit thinking about it.  That’s where magic comes from.

After we got there, and got through the ticket area, we made sure all of us had each other’s contact information, so we could call or text if needed.  Then we split up.  Liz, Jack and I went off to do our thing, Grace and her parents went off to make sure Grace got to see all the things (and characters) she wanted, and Liz’s parents just wanted to stroll around and see the sights.  I kind of wanted to hang out with Grace, but I guess I’d deal with hanging around with Liz and Jack.  Yes, hanging out with my best friend and a hot boy who was clearly into me would be such a horrible fate.

Oh no.  Oh NO.

So we spent the day just walking around and seeing the sights and chatting amongst ourselves.  I rode a couple of roller coasters but the lines were sooooo long.  Early afternoon we all got together for lunch, and while it was a bit overpriced, it was pretty good.  After that we wandered around a little more, until the sun started to go down.  I’d heard there were fireworks and wanted to see them, and we found a good place to sit.  Liz looked at me and Jack, said she had to go to the bathroom, and left.

We were sitting close.  What was happening to me?  I caught him sneaking glances at me.  I called him out on it.

“Why do you keep sneaking glances at me?”

He turned red.  “Same reason you keep sneaking glances at me.”  Even through his blush, he smirked a little.

“Oh.”

He was quiet for a bit.  “I just met you.  But you’re really pretty.  And nice.  And Grace likes you.”

“Me?,” I said, “with the freakishly long legs and the round face and…”  I trailed off as the first flashes of fireworks appeared in the sky. “Oh, that’s beautiful,” I said, having forgotten all about my long legs and round face.

“It is,” he said.  But I looked at him.  He wasn’t looking at the fireworks.  I found myself turning red and stammering.  “I – I…”

He tentatively put his arm around my waist.  I jumped at his touch  It felt soooo good and soooo awkward and…  and I just leaned my head against his shoulder and sighed.  It was perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  Oh no..

“What was I saying?,” I murmured.  I heard his laugh rumble through his body, and it made me shiver.  And so warm inside.  It was like there was this part of me that was missing and it was right there, where he touched me.

We watched the fireworks together, his arm around my waist, my head on his shoulder.  I could feel him breathing, smell him…  I couldn’t help it.  I melted.  It was the best feeling I’d ever experienced, just being with him like that.  I barely knew him!  But…

Oh no.  Is this what Sabby was talking about?  Is this what she meant about…  my heart betraying me?  I didn’t want it to end.  I’d only met him yesterday and it was so fast and…  I didn’t want it to ever end.

But like everything, it had to.  Right when the show ended, Liz showed up with a smirk on her face.

“Getting to know each other?”, she said, with a giggle in her voice.

We both blushed, and I quickly but very reluctantly pulled my head off his shoulder.  We both stood up and we went to find the rest of the group for our shuttle ride back.  He took my hand.  I didn’t resist.  Grace was tired, and had fallen asleep in her mother’s arms.  It was sooo cute.  The adults noticed us holding hands.  Liz’s father’s eyebrow went up, but they didn’t say anything.

We got back to the hotel, and our goodnight was soooo awkward.  He didn’t know what to do any more than I did.  Finally he just gave my cheek a light peck and went up to his room.  I just touched my cheek, my eyes wide.

I ran back to my room and flopped down on the bed. I heard a knock on the door.  When I opened it, there was Liz’s mother.

“Can I come in?,” she said.  She was fidgeting.  I nodded.  She sat primly on one of the chairs at the fancy desk we had.

“Jack’s father is talking with him as well,” she said.  “I’m not your mother… or Sabby,” she said quickly, “But we’re kind of in loco parentis right now… that means acting like your parents.”

I turned red and nodded.

She fidgeted.  “I thought I’d be having this talk with Zhi Ruo first,” she said.

I saw my chance to get Liz back. “You might want to anyway, there’s this guy at the front desk…”

She looked surprised.  “Really now?  I’ll have to keep that in mind.  But…  about Jack.  We saw the two of you holding hands.  Be careful, okay?”

I nodded.  “I will.  Sabby already made me promise.”

She blew out a breath.  “Good.  I don’t need to say anything more.  As long as you just hold hands and make googy eyes at each other, there’s nothing wrong with a little vacation romance.  Now -“

I fell over laughing.

“What?”, she said, looking puzzled.

“That’s exactly what Liz said.”

Her mother grinned.  “Yes, I imagine so.  Now, as I was saying, and doubly so now,  if you’ll pardon me, I need to talk to Zhi Ruo.”  She left with no further comment.

A half hour later, Liz came in, beet red.  She stomped over to me and punched my arm.

“Ow!,” I exclaimed.  I didn’t need to ask her what that was for.

“Why did you tell my mother about the guy at the front desk?  She just spent fifteen minutes giving me a refresher course on being careful with boys.  I could have just died!”

“You had it coming for Jack,” I said, rubbing my arm.  Girl packed a punch.  “I love you, Liz, but you can be pretty awful sometimes.”

She deflated.  “I guess.”  She flopped onto her bed.  “Did she give you a talk too?”

“Yeah.”  I didn’t say anything else.

“You got it bad, don’t you?”

I flopped back on the bed.  “Let me put it this way.  If he wants to kiss me, I won’t stop him.  Not even the littlest tiniest bit.”

Liz squeeed but then her face turned somber  “Just be careful,” she said quietly.

“I will,” I said.  “I promised.”

I called Sabby a little later.  She’d read my post from yesterday.  She told me to have fun, to be careful, and to remember what we talked about.  I understand now.  I didn’t understand before, but I understand now.  It’s not love.  I don’t love him.  It’s too soon to love him.  But if she hadn’t been so insistent, if she hadn’t told me… I would think it was.  And then what?  I told her not to worry.  I also told her about my conversation with Liz’s mother and she seemed grateful.  Both of them had some good advice, and I appreciated it.

On her end, she and Beth were having a smashing time, they had gone to the Galleria, eaten quite a bit, shopped till they dropped, Beth got her makeover, and Sabby was really glad they’d done it.  No word on how many fish Dave and David had caught, but their trip was still early.

Oh no.  Oh no oh no oh no.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 22 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Florida Lily!!!

OMG do I have so much to tell you!!!  If this isn’t a long post I’ll eat my sunglasses!  And they’re not made of chocolate either!!!

So after I wrote the post this morning, the plane showed up and after some ruckus, we all boarded.  OMG they got business class!  I guess Lily’s father does a lot of travelling and had some miles to burn!!!  It was SO COMFORTABLE!!!  They gave us free drinks (alcoholic for Liz’s parents – they drank very little though, we got some nice fruit drinks) and it was a great way to fly the first time!!!  Anyway, we got on the plane, and I was so scared but so excited!!!  Finally the door closed and the plane started moving backwards, and those huge engines started!  Beth would have loved it!  Liz was chatting my ear off about bleed air and compressors and light-off (she’s so smart!) but I was just taking in the whole experience.  The flight attendants were telling us what to do if the plane crashes.  I listened but it was so dark!

So the plane started moving and went at low speed for a few minutes, then it turned and those engines just went for it.  Holy…  was it a rush!!!  We went really fast and then the plane just lifted!!!

It was a short flight so they didn’t give us food but we got snacks and the views out the windows were amazing!  All those beautiful popcorn clouds!

The landing was so stressful!  I could feel the plane dropping, even though it was a gentle drop.  Finally the ground rushed up and we hit!  We were safe!  We taxied to the gate.  It’s amazing how the energy changes once you land.  People turning their phones on and chatting to their friends or loved ones, and we got off the plane.  In Orlando there’s a tram you can take to the actual airport from the gate, it was soo cool!  Then we got a car and went to get some brunch.  We had a nice meal (it turns out on vacation the Tangs will eat stuff that’s a little more American, I guess the Chinese food is just what they prefer to make) and then went to the hotel.

OMG what a nice hotel!!!!  Everything was shiny and gleaming, and they have a nice pool and everything!!!  After Liz and I settled into our room (we got one room, and her parents got the other) I decided to take a nap.  Liz did too.  We were soo tired!  But after the nap we put on our swimsuits and went down to the pool!!!  It was sooooo fun!!!  Wish Allison was here, she would have loved that pool!!!

At dinnertime we all went out to eat, we had sushi!!!  Liz’s father told me that Chinese food and Japanese food aren’t really the same, but they’re kind of similar – emphasis on seafood and rice, and kind of light and savory.  We pigged out on sushi!  I got to know Liz’s parents a little better.  They’re nice people.  They were telling me how their parents emigrated from China when they were little, and they had to become naturalized citizens.  They’re afraid to go to China right now because of the way things are, but they still have family there and talk as much as they can.  It turns out Liz’s Father can speak a little Japanese!  He has to go there sometimes for work!  That’s the first time I’ve ever seen Liz confused, when he and I had a very basic conversation!  I’ll have to practice with him sometimes!

Anyway, after we got back, OMG do I have news!  It’s big news!  Remember when I learned that I knew martial arts?  That kind of big news!  So Liz was trying to find a place to practice her violin, and she asked the front desk staff if they had a room for that.  Turned out that in such a fancy hotel, they did.  There was a little room with a piano and a music stand.  So she set up and I sat down at the piano and… 

And started playing.

I’ve never played the piano before!  I don’t remember it!  But I played it!  Liz’s mouth dropped to the ground, and she grabbed her phone and video called Sabby and said “Sabby you have GOT to listen to this!.”

I was just amazed I could play.  I mean, what???

Sabby started squealing!!!  I could hear her through the phone.  Things like “OMG she can play the piano?”  and “What else can she do?” and then I heard Dave and Beth.  Dave said “Well, I’ll be,” and Beth said “that’s cool,” and was quiet.  I heard Sabby start to berate Beth and their voices got more distant.  Sigh.  Then Sabby came back and said “Call me later.  Seriously, Lily.  OMG.”  Then Liz said goodbye and hung up.

Liz pulled out her violin, then grabbed some sheet music and plopped it in front of me.  “Can you read this?”, she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.  I was actually really confused.  These things just keep happening to me.

Turned out I could.  And we did a really nice duet.  One of the front desk people, a nice looking young guy, quietly walked in and listened.

After I was done, he said “That was beautiful.”  I don’t think he was just talking about the music, from the way he was looking at Liz.  “How long have you played together?”

I sighed.  “I didn’t even know I could play before today.”

His mouth dropped open too.  He shook his head bemusedly and left.  I think he thought I was lying.  Liz looked after him with an unreadable look.  She looked a bit flustered.

Yet another thing to explore.

Anyway, I let her get to practicing after promising her I’d do duets with her.  It turns out that while she never held it against me, she felt that her love of music and my inability to play it was something we didn’t have in common and it was hard for her to relate to me or feel that I could relate to her.  She was so happy!!!  I put my swimsuit back on and sat in the hot tub for a while with Liz’s parents.  Liz’s mother is actually really pretty – kind of petite, but nicely proportioned.   I can see where Liz gets her beauty from.  I told her mother that and, well, her face wasn’t the only thing that blushed!  It was so cute!  Her father put his arm around her and said that he was a very lucky man, and her blush got even deeper.  I hope I find someone like him someday!

As we got out of the hot tub, a family approached.  There were two Chinese adults, a boy about my age, and a little girl about four years old.  The boy was…  ummm… hot.  He was a little shorter than me, but with wild black hair and a little smirk that looked so mischievous.  I suddenly felt so warm, even though I had just gotten out of the hot tub and was in my swimsuit.  He looked at me, and I could tell he was very carefully keeping his eyes on my face after stealing a quick glance at the rest of my body.  Oh no.  He thinks I’m hot too.  Oh NO OH NO OH NO!!!

Liz’s father introduced us.  The boy’s name was Jack.  No wonder Liz had a smirk when she talked about him!  She knew!!!  She is in so much trouble…  calm, Lily.  Calm.  The little girl is named Grace, and she is just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!  I told her my name was Lily and she said “Li…ly?  Lily!  Auntie Lily!”  I just melted.  Oh my God I even forgot about Jack for a moment!  I love her already!

Jack was just looking at me, his eyes were unreadable.  Finally he spoke.  “She likes you, Lily.  You must be alright.”

I looked at him.  “Thanks… so are you…”  STUPID STUPID STUPID.  He just smirked and followed his family back to their room.  He turned back to look at me, and smiled.  I flushed.  Oh no.

When I got back to the room I changed into my PJs and waited for Liz.  When she came in I smacked her arm.

“YOU KNEW!”

She smirked.  “Knew what?”

“Jack!”

“Oh, that he’s a boy, and he’s your age, and that he’s pretty hot?  You like him?”

“Worse!  He saw me in my swimsuit!  I think he likes me!”

“But you’re hot, Lily!  Especially in your swimsuit!  Why wouldn’t he?”

I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands.  Oh no.  This week just got soooo much more complicated.  Liz just patted my shoulder.

“It’ll be fine,” she said.  “Besides, a little vacation romance never hurt anyone.”

“I don’t want one!”

“Just relax, Lily!  It’ll be fine.  Jack’s a good guy.  I promise.  You’ll like him, and not just because he’s gorgeous!”  I sighed.  I guess I’ll deal.  Besides, he is hot.

“So what about you, Liz?”, I asked teasingly.  “You got anyone picked out?”

She blushed.  “I…  I wouldn’t know…”

“It’s the front desk guy that was listening to us, isn’t it?”

She turned beet red.  “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“A little vacation romance never hurt anyone,” I said, a little mockingly.

“Truce?”

“Truce.”

I called Sabby a few minutes ago.  She was positively bouncing.  After she told me Beth had one of her jealous fits again and Sabby had to set her straight, she said that she was going to get me piano lessons and this time she didn’t care if I wanted them or not!  And she was going to find a piano too!  She loves piano.  She can only play it a little bit but she really wants to see how well I can play!  I guess I don’t mind.  It’s a part of my schooling, and I had to do some music classes anyway.  And at least I don’t have to deal with the frustration of starting from scratch, like I do with Japanese.  I’ll have to relearn all the terminology though, I forget what everything’s named.  Everyone at the Smith house is heading out tomorrow but at least Sabby and Beth will still be reachable if needed.  I guess Sabby and Beth are going up to Dallas for a monster shopping or at least mall walking trip, and Beth’s getting a makeover too.  Sabby’s not made of money but I bet at least a few bags will be in the trunk on the way home.  I hope it helps with their bonding. I can’t wait to see Beth’s new look!

I didn’t tell her about Jack.  I don’t think I could.  Oh no, yet again.

I’m not going to apologize to Beth though.  I’ll never, ever apologize for who I am.  Sabby taught me that a few days ago.  She said “never be afraid to say no” but it’s the same thing, don’t you think?

Liz and I are going to brush each other’s hair now!!!  Till tomorrow!!!  Love you all!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 21 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

OMG I’M AT THE AIRPORT!!!!

Last night I went to bed early, and hugged Dave and Sabby and Beth and even David so I didn’t have to wake them up so early.  They seemed to appreciate it.  Sabby told me to have a good time and to call her every night and let her know if I needed anything.   She’s such a good mother hen… I mean mother!  haha!!

I got up at about 3:30 AM and took a quick shower and did toothbrushing and all that stuff, then went over to Liz’s with my suitcases.  I put on a nice summer dress but it’s kinda cold outside!  Liz had a lot of stuff, turns out she brought her violin too so she could practice.  I guess she can’t take a week off from that.  But that’s okay, she doesn’t mind.  Anyway, the taxi arrived soon after and we zoomed down the tollway!  There was no one on the road, and they just opened the new tollway that takes you right to the airport!  So we arrived, even that early there were quite a few people.  We waited at security, and all of us finally got through.  Now we’re at the gate waiting for the plane to show up!  There are so many tired people waiting for the plane too, but they seem excited too!  I guess almost everyone going to Orlando this time of year is going to have fun!

Everyone’s tired, but Liz is burbling!  She’s soooo happy!!!  I know I’m bubbly, but when Liz gets going she just doesn’t stop talking!  Her parents seem to just want to conk out in their chairs, but she’s just talking and talking!  I don’t mind though.  I kind of feel the same way.  It’s a nice airport, but none of the places to eat are open yet!  I’m glad that Sabby made me take some snacks!

The sun is not even up yet and it’s dark outside, but there’s just a glimmer of lightness in the sky, and everything’s so pretty!  I love mornings!  Especially at the airport!  OMG!!!!!

I’ll write more tonight before I go to bed!  I’m sure y’all want to know how the flight went!!!!

Love you all!!!  ZOOM ZOOM!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 19 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Two days!  Can you believe it?  I’m soooo excited!  I’ve never even been out of state before – that I can remember, anyway.  I’ve never been on an airplane, that I can remember.  I’ve never been to Disney World, that I can remember.  I’m not just excited to go to Orlando, I’m just excited to make a memory.  I have so few of my own.

People don’t understand.  They take their memories for granted.  They remember things – good things, bad things.  They know who they are.  They even know their name!  How precious is a name?  I mean, I did get to choose mine, but a name is a gift that someone gives you when you’re born!  I don’t know what mine is!  It makes me sad sometimes.

Even if I were to choose to keep “Lily”, at least I’d know what my parents wanted me to be named.  That means something.  Don’t you think?

I imagine it’s easy for all of you readers to forget that Lily isn’t my real name.  Well, I guess it is legally.  And it’s what everyone calls me.  But I chose it.  I had to name myself, because no one else knew.  That’s such an awful thing.  I think so, anyway.  No one else knew.

But this isn’t a time for sadness!  I’m going to make a memory next week!  Maybe lots of memories!  Liz told me that her cousin has a little sister and she’ll be there too.  Maybe we’ll get along too!  Liz has a kind of smirk, though, when she talks about her cousin.  I wonder why.  Is she a little weird?

Tomorrow I’m going to work, then tomorrow night I’m going to make sure everything’s all packed up.  The flight leaves at 8:15 AM so we have to be there early!  I mean sooooo early!  I may not even sleep!  But it’ll be worth it!  Sooo fun!!!  Liz tells me we’re just going to relax on Sunday, and then on Monday comes the fun stuff!  YAAAAY!!!  I can sleep!!!

Oh oh oh…   I mentioned that a potential friend for Beth was coming over today!  Yeah, that worked.  NOT.  The family was nice enough, the parents were, well, parents, there was a boy about David’s age and they actually kinda hit it off, but the girl was kind of a prissy… umm… I mean…  she wasn’t very nice.  She was not bad looking for a fourteen year old, blonde hair, pretty face, and attitude for ages.  Beth mentioned she liked science and reading and Little Miss Priss said “Science?  Ewww!  Are you a nerd?”  Well, as you can imagine, that was pretty much the end of that.  Dave and Sabby and the parents got along pretty well, but Little Miss Priss was a dud.

She started on me, though.  Told me that I was weird for being adopted, that kind of thing.  I just looked at her and told her I may be weird, but at least I don’t make people hate me just by opening my mouth.  Her parents kinda smirked, I guess they know.  But they didn’t say anything.  I guess that’s why she’s Little Miss Priss.  It was a little awkward after that.  I guess David has a new friend, though.  That’s a good thing.

After they left, Sabby looked a little embarrassed.  Beth just looked at Sabby with the most disdainful look I’ve seen on her face ever since she stopped hating me, and told her if those are the kinds of friends she wants her to make, well, at least her old friends didn’t insult her to her face.  Then she stomped up to her room and slammed the door.

Sabby looked a little more than embarrassed then.  Poor Sabby.  Good intentions backfire again.  She just announced she was going to take a bath, went up to her room, and that was that.

Truthfully, Beth kinda had a point.  Sabby might need to refine her approach a bit.  I’m not sure having a revolving door of potential new friends every Friday is going to work out too great.  But it’s between Sabby and Beth, so oh well.

Anyway, I’ve got to work tomorrow.  Since I’m leaving on Sunday, Liz isn’t staying over tonight.  I guess Beth and Sabby leave for whatever they’re going to do on Monday or Tuesday, and same with Dave and David going fishing.  Hope they catch lots of fish!  Fish is tasty!  Especially when Sabby prepares it!

Fish is one of the few things you can’t put chocolate on!  Ewww!

Anyway, I’ve got to sleep.  Love you all!!! ❤️

 

This diary entry is part 18 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

Three days till we go to Orlando!  Yay!  I can’t wait!!!  I hear the airports will be really busy on that weekend so we’ll have to get there early!  Sabby’s helping me to figure out what to pack – I can’t take too much but lots of light summer clothing, sunscreen, that kinda stuff.  I hear it gets pretty warm and humid in Florida, even though it’s a lot cooler here now.  Oh, and can’t forget swimsuits!  I have that one Sabby bought me, and it’s kind of one piece and kind of not, it’s very flattering and the top will not come off!!  That’s important!  Show the girls once, shame on you!  Show them twice, shame on me!  Or something like that!!!

Swimsuits are for swimming!  Not for losing!  I want to post a picture, but Sabby’s really insistent that I don’t.  Maybe I can figure something out.  We’ll see!!

So things have been quiet in the Smith household. There’s some political or legal thing going on in Wisconsin, and things are just a mite bit tense.  I don’t know what it is, and I really don’t want to know.  I hate politics!  It’s not because they’re not important, and it’s not that I shouldn’t care, but people just get so worked up about it, and for what?  You speak up when you need to speak up, you vote when you can vote, and generally things will just take care of themselves.  Why get all worked up about stuff you can’t control?

But then I was found in the middle of the election zoo last year, so maybe my views are a bit warped.  All I’ve ever seen is the mess.  It’s normal for me.

Liz is looking forward to Orlando too.  She got a new swimsuit too.  It’s a little more revealing than mine but not much – her parents are pretty strict about that too.  She doesn’t really like it but she accepts it – it’s their way of caring.  But we’ve been talking back and forth about what to pack, and it’s hard to decide!  I wish we fit each others’ clothing, but we don’t, so we just have to make do.  Honestly, she and Beth are more alike in physique than she and I.

So I have schoolwork to do – Sabby’s really been laying it on because next week is a week off and she wants to make sure I’ve learned everything I need to.  Extra sessions with teachers and all that stuff.  But it’s okay.  It’s a lot of fun stuff to learn!  And I’m getting better at Japanese too!  I know enough to know how much I don’t know!

Anyway, gots to go!  Love you all!!!  YAAAAAAY ORLANDO!!!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 16 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So I think the drama’s over now.  For the most part.  I have had to do a lot of thinking and I guess I’ve been a little more moody than usual, because Sabby bought me a big chocolate shake.  You know how she says chocolate fixes everything?  I guess it doesn’t always.  But I still drank the shake!  And I did feel a little better.

Letting chocolate go to waste is a crime.  Ignore those puddings in the trash over there.  You didn’t see anything.

Beth seems a little shaken too.  I don’t think she realized what a bad influence her “friends” were.  Apparently they’d been doing stuff like that.  I don’t think Beth ever had to take a dare quite like that, but they really didn’t know when to stop.  Apparently her friends have already kissed boys!  I mean, really!  They were younger than Beth!  We did ask Beth during the game (she chose “truth”) whether she kissed a boy.  She turned beet red and said “I’m not sure”.  When all the giggling was over, we asked what she meant.  She answered, “Does the cheek count?”  Liz and I agreed that it really doesn’t.  After all, I kiss her forehead all the time, and that doesn’t count at all.

We begged for details but she wouldn’t spill.  All she’d say was she was dared to and didn’t go any further.  Apparently this wasn’t the first game of “truth or dare” she’d played, and, well, no wonder Sabby was annoyed.  But I’ll let Sabby extract that info if she wants.  Not my business.

Liz told me that we’d be meeting some of her family in Florida.  They’re coming to Disney World too.  Not quite a family reunion, but they haven’t seen each other in a while.  Apparently she has a cousin who is about my age.  Might be fun to make a new friend!  Liz wouldn’t tell me her name, though.  They haven’t talked in a long time, and she just mentioned her in passing.

Speaking of Florida, we leave in five days!  Sabby’s really fussing now.  She’s got plans on plans on plans, she told me she expects to be able to chat with me every night and wants me to tell her everything that happens, and she’s really being a mama bear.  Finally I had to tell her that I’d be fine, and to let me have fun.  She wasn’t too happy with that but seemed to realize she was being a little overbearing, and backed off just a little.   Only a little.  Sabby gonna Sabb.

Beth is still grounded, and no one’s told me what she and Sabby are going to do.  But I’ve had my own problems.  Sabby has been calling around church trying to set up outings with families that have girls about the same age as Beth.  Apparently, Beth is going to have new friends, and they are going to be Sabby-vetted.  I guess I can’t blame her.  Beth doesn’t seem too enthused, but oh well.  I’m sure Sabby knows what she’s doing.

Oh I forgot to mention, Allison lost her big game. I know, right!  So sad.  But you know what?  She got to whack the ball and everyone cheered.  Sometimes you lose something, but you get memories and experience out of it.  Next time she’ll whack the ball harder, and maybe even win!  There’s always a next time.

Oh oh oh I promised big news!  I set up subscriptions on this site!  They’re free, and they’ll let you see some things that I don’t want little eyes to see.  Nothing awful, but I try to keep this site safe for little ones by default.  If you sign up, well, you’ve been warned!

Okay.  That’s done.  Whew.

I must go now.  I have schoolwork to do.  Just because next week is a vacation doesn’t mean I get to slack off!  So math and science and all that stuff, here I come!  YAAAAAAY!!!  Oh and Japanese too!  YATTAAAA!!!!!!!!  Love you all!! ❤️

This diary entry is part 15 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!  A thoughtful Lily.

So after I wrote last night’s post I went downstairs to get something to eat.   They’d all had dinner (they usually eat without me on weekends but I don’t mind, I’m doot dooting) and I hadn’t had any dinner.  While I was downstairs microwaving some leftover Dave Grilled Meat, I heard Sabby’s door open and close, then Beth’s door open and close.  There wasn’t another sound.

As the microwave beeped, I heard Sabby’s door open again, and then I heard her coming down the stairs.  I went to the fridge to snarf some leftover potato salad, and she came into the kitchen.  I offered her some potato salad, but she just shook her head and sat down at the table.  I collected my food, as well as a soda, and sat down across from her.  I was hungry.

She just seemed content to let me eat for a little bit, then she spoke.

“Would you have done it, Lily?”

“Huh?”, I said eruditely.

“Would you have done it.  Would you have taken that dare?”

“No!,” I protested, and took another bite of chicken.

Her eyes bored into me.  “Say, if Liz hadn’t taken your side, if Beth and Liz would have both pressured you to do it, would you have?”

I swallowed my chicken.  “No, I…  I don’t think I would have.”

She shook her head.  “I think you would have.”

My heart leapt into my throat and I had to stop myself from choking on a piece of chicken.  I set the chicken down.  “You…  what?”

“I think you would have.”

I was silent.  My face was red.

“Oh, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you’re that kind of girl.  I completely believe you when you say that you didn’t want to, and I think you would have protested and told them to pound sand.  For a while.  But eventually you would have been worried that you’d lose Liz as a friend and Beth as a sister, and you would have done it.”

I lowered my head.  Dammit.

“Lily, you’re a good girl.  I worry about Beth and David.  A lot.  I don’t worry about you as much.  You have a good head on your shoulders, you’re smart, you have a good heart.”  She paused.  “And you would do absolutely anything if it meant that you’d be accepted by people you loved.”  She paused.  “Or needed.”

I was quiet.

Her eyes bored into me deeper.  “I know this because I was the same way, Lily.  I know you.  I know how desperate you are to be loved, to make up for what you’ve lost, to have as normal a life as you can.  You would do anything to have that.  Wouldn’t you?”

A tear leaked out of my right eye and ran down my cheek.  Sabby reached over and wiped it off with her thumb.

She spoke more gently now.  “And it would have never occurred to you… the things I told you earlier.  Would it?”

I sniffed and put my head in my hands.  I couldn’t help it.  A sob escaped.  I heard the scrape of her chair against the floor, and then I felt her arms around me, from behind.  Her chin was on my shoulder.  I sighed and relaxed a little.

“I grounded Beth,” she said.  “She’s grounded until we go off to do our thing together.  I didn’t ground her because her dare wasn’t appropriate, though it wasn’t.  I grounded her because, intentionally or not, she took advantage of your loneliness, and I can’t have that.  She needs to understand that being a sister means to build you up, not to tear you down.”  She let me go and sat back down in her chair.  “And you need to understand that there will never be any conditions in this house for our love, and I will be most displeased if anyone tries to pull that stunt that Beth did.  In the future, just say ‘no’.  And if that is not respected, then you will tell me, and I will go all Claire Huxtable on them.  Do you understand?”

I nodded.  I didn’t trust myself to speak.

There was an urgency in her voice now.  “Never, ever, be afraid to say no.  Do you understand, Lily?  Never.  Never.”

She stood up from the chair and went up the stairs.

I looked at my food.  I wasn’t really hungry anymore.  But I forced it down anyway.

Because I fear Sabby was right.  And that is the worst feeling in the world.

I’ve had much to think about today.

This diary entry is part 14 of 32 in Lily's diary dated 05 - November 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

So today started out boring.  I went to work, doot dooted everyone into gloriously unhealthy food, and just had a decent morning.  I got home later this afternoon, and took Sabby aside.  I told her what Beth had tried to make me do in the game of “truth or dare”.  I didn’t know how to handle it, but I couldn’t let it slide either.

She only had two things to say.

The first was “I need to thank Liz for standing up for you.”  And the second was “Get Beth down here, now.  Please.”

Before I did, I asked Sabby not to be too hard on her.  After all, she was 14 and probably didn’t know what she was doing.  Sabby shook her head.  “Maybe not,” she said.  “But if you’d done it and someone’d had a camera… no.  I need to speak with her.  And I want you here as well.”

I looked hesitant.  “Sabby, she only now stopped being mean to me…”

“Has she?,” she said, barely containing herself.  “Bring her down here, Lily.  Now.  On second thought, stay here.”  She got up and went up the stairs.  She came down dragging a protesting Beth by her arm, and sat her down next to me.

“Lily tells me you made a… very inappropriate dare the other night.  Is this true?”

Beth gave me the stinkeye, but Sabby turned her face towards her.  “Lily asked me to go easy on you.  What you did rightly concerned her  Whether I take her advice or not depends on how well you can explain yourself.  So, explain yourself.”

Beth lowered her head and nodded.  “I did.”

“Why?  Do you know what you did?  You could have gotten Lily into a lot of trouble.”

“I thought it’d be just a little embarrassing…” Beth stuttered.

“Embarrassing?,” Sabby roared.  “Try humiliating!”

“I didn’t mean…”

Sabby deflated.  “No, I don’t think you did.  Lily’s right.  You’re fourteen.  Let me explain to you exactly what could have happened if she had done as you asked.”

And she did.  In great detail.  None of which I will repeat here.  I hadn’t even thought of some of the stuff that she had said.  It was awful!  No wonder Liz was upset!  I thought it was just about trying to embarrass me, but it was soooo much worse than that!  I was even a little upset at Beth when Sabby was done.

But Beth was trembling.  “I didn’t… I didn’t mean… I didn’t know…”

“You didn’t!  And that’s the problem!,” Sabby said.  “Where did you learn that?”

“My… my old friends.”

“You’ll never speak to them again.  We’re finding you new friends.  And if I ever catch wind of you ever doing anything like that again I’m going to take you over my knee and show you what real embarrassment is!  Now go to your room, I’ll come talk to you when I’ve calmed down!”

I was a little shocked.  I’d never seen Sabby even threaten to spank one of her children.  Not even David when he got into trouble with the Internet.  Beth made haste to her room and slammed the door.  I thought I heard a sob before the door slammed.

I looked at Sabby.  “Sabby, are you okay?”  She was shaking.

“No.  I’m not, Lily.  I’m going to go take a bath.”  And she went up to her room.

I sat there for a moment.  I’d never seen Sabby like that.  I went up and knocked on Beth’s door.  “Beth -“, I said.

“GO AWAY!”, she yelled.  “Just go away!  I hate you!  I HATE YOU!”

I sighed.  Back to that again.  I went to my room.  What else was I going to do?

Well, more Smith drama.  I decided to play on my tablet for a bit.

An hour or so later, I heard a timid knock on my door.  I said “Its open,” and it opened slowly.  Beth peeked in.  I sighed and put the tablet down.

“Back to hating me again?,” I said, with a tinge of bitterness in my voice.

“No,” she said, quietly.  “I’m sorry for that.  I…  I didn’t know.”

“I didn’t either,” I said.  “It could have been bad.”

She sat down on the edge of my bed.  “I was just trying to embarrass you a little.  I didn’t mean to… I didn’t know…”

I hugged her.  “I know.  I’m sorry I told Sabby.  But I had to.  I didn’t know how to approach it, either.”

She returned my hug and sat there.  “Mom hates me.”

“No she doesn’t.  She…  ask her about her childhood someday.”

“What do you mean?”

“Not my place.  Just ask her.  I think…  I think you made her remember some things.  I don’t know what.”

She nodded.  She got up and left my room.  I heard her knock on Sabby’s door.  I heard the door open.  Then close.  Then it was quiet.

It’s still quiet.  They’re still talking.  Or Sabby’s hiding the body.

Love you all!  And one week to Orlando!!!  ❤️