Series: 21 - March 2023

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And… ummm… I’m speechless.  I really have no words.

So this morning, Robert’s wife said she was going to take me to a dress shop and get me a very fancy dress.  I didn’t really know why, but I had nothing else to do, obviously, so we went to get me a very fancy dress.  It took quite a long time for the tailor to do the tailor thing. but at the end, I had a very nice satiny lavender dress with a slit down the side.  I… well, Jack would have loved me in it.  And then she took me and Rebecca to get our hair and makeup professionally done.

They didn’t bother telling me why.

Well, I found out why.

You remember that celebrity that we ran into yesterday that I still don’t remember who it was?  Well, he invited us to the Oscars!  All four of us!!!

We went up the red carpet and everything!!!

Why is my life like this?  Why do these things always seem to happen to me?

They of course didn’t really get any photos of me because, well, I’m nobody, but we went into the auditorium, and I’ve never seen so many people in tuxedos and evening gowns!  I have never felt more like I didn’t belong!  But… they did have free chocolate, so there’s that.  I had a bit of that and felt better.

Anyway, I watched a bunch of people I don’t know and don’t care about prattling on about movies I don’t know and don’t care about.  I think Robert understood that.  But he did tell me to try to enjoy it, because it’s a once in a lifetime experience that will probably never happen again.

And…  he’s right about that.  So I tried.  It was certainly an experience.  I used all of my Japanese grace and poise.  Hahaha!!!

And here’s the funniest thing!!!

Sabby was watching the Oscars (she usually doesn’t but she was bored) and…  she saw me!  And I didn’t tell her I was going!

Hahahaha!!!!

So when it was over and we were in the car on the way back, my phone was blowing up!!! Hahaha!!!!

She called Emiko, and Emiko called Ai’s parents, and, well, everyone I knew was blowing up my phone asking me why the heck I was at the Oscars!!!

I said I don’t talk to little people.  Sabby threatened to smack me.  Suddenly I talked to little people.  hahaha!!!!

Of course I’m kidding.  I wasn’t joking when I said I don’t care.

It’s…  really a different world here.  I guess it’s fun to dip a toe in.  But…  but I will be happy to be home.  This isn’t my world.  This is Robert’s world.

Robert had to tell Rebecca to behave herself and not fangirl over all the celebrities, though.  She did a pretty good job, though when one gave her a compliment she turned beet red and squeaked.  It was hilarious!!!

Robert, well…  he asked me if I was having a good time.  I said yes, but I said this isn’t my world, and I don’t really feel comfortable in it.  He said he understood and didn’t take it personally.  That’s when he told me to just enjoy making memories.

That… was exactly the right thing to say, to me.  This may not be my world.  It may make me uncomfortable.  But no one at all can deny that… I’m making a whole bunch of memories.  I mean, who gets to say they went to the Oscars???

Me!  I do!

Hahaha!!!

Okay!  Tomorrow we’re going boating!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Well, you’d think after yesterday, there’d be no way to top that… and, well, you’d be right.  I can’t imagine anything that would top that experience for just plain weirdness.  Sabby gave me a really hard time about it, joking, of course, apparently Beth’s really jealous (why does everything good happen to LILY!!!), Liz just shook her head and said “only Lily,” Jack said I was hot in that dress, and apparently Diana just spewed a really long and fast bunch of Spanish ending with “ay yay YAY”.  Crystal just laughed.

I guess it’s to be expected.  The only one I’m even a little upset at is Beth.  I keep telling her.  You want my life, you can frigging HAVE it, just be prepared to lose every memory before you’re fourteen.  She and I are going to have to have a major talk.  Why can’t she just be happy for me for once?

But anyway, that’s over.  They’re actually being really nice and shipping the dress back home, so I get to keep it.  That’s really nice of them.  I can’t wait to model it for Jack.  It’s probably the most expensive piece of clothing I own by an order of magnitude.

So anyway, enough about last night.  Today we went boating.  They have a boat they keep over at a marina – it’s not a huge, fancy boat, but it’s a nice boat nonetheless.  It’s got a little room underneath, a toilet, you know all of the essentials, but it’s only a dozen feet long and nothing amazing.  Well… having a boat at all is amazing, but you know what I mean.  Not like an Elon Musk superyacht or anything like that.

Anyway, I put on my swimsuit and they put on theirs – HOLY…  Rebecca put on her swimsuit, and I swear, there was nothing there!!!  It basically just covered exactly what it needed to cover and not a square inch more!!!  She told me it was a designer that was very expensive – I just said “wow… I need to start making swimsuits, the amount of markup on those is insane.”

She just looked at me like I was nuts.  Robert laughed and patted my shoulder, and told me I have a really good head for business.  I blushed a bit – I like those kinds of compliments.  I still think Robert wants a piece of mine and Sabby’s company, but…  if he brings it up, I’ll let him propose, I guess.

Her mother wore a similar swimsuit – I think she works out!!!  I hope I have a body like hers when I’m her age!!!

But I’m half asian, I probably will until I’m sixty.  Hahah!!!

Anyway, we went out boating – they had some nice snacks and the bay was really pretty.  We boated out to Catalina Island and had lunch there.  Southern California really is pretty – they told me that it’s not pretty everywhere, but everywhere they’ve taken me is absolutely gorgeous!

Well, except for Hollywood.  I know it’s famous, but if I’m being honest, it’s kind of a dump.

Now I know why they wanted me to bring the sunscreen!!!  Rebecca and I put it on each other.  Okay, you silly-billies, I’ve told you.  It’s just what us girls do.  Now Jack, that would have been a different story!!!

Anyway, after we got home…  it’s funny how exhausting a relaxing trip can be, y’know?  We had a quick dinner and basically just went to do our own things.

Rebecca wanted to talk, though.  She said she’d never met anyone like me before.

“How so?”, I said.

“Well… all the girls at school… they’re all into fashion and gossip and being popular and all that kind of stuff.  They’d be so jealous that I met” – I still forget who that is, even though they keep telling me – “and that he invited us to the Oscars and everything.  But you didn’t care!  You seemed uncomfortable! Why?”

I sighed.  “Rebecca, I’m from Texas.  It’s… a different world.  We just don’t care about those things.”

She thought for a moment.  “Hmmm… what do you care about?”

I…  let’s be honest, I wasn’t expecting quite that insightful of a question.

“I… I guess God, country, family, brisket…”

“What’s brisket?”

“Only the best BBQ ever and we make it so good in Texas.”

She seemed to think for a while.  “What’s it like being you?  I mean, daddy told me about your memories being lost, and all the stuff that’s happened… and he told me that he didn’t know you existed until mom found you, and…  what’s it like?”

I thought for a moment.  “Do you remember being a little girl?”

“Yes,” she said softly.  “I remember being very little and going to Disneyland, and having my picture taken with Mickey and Minnie and all the other characters… that was so much fun!”

“I don’t,” I said just as softly.  “The only thing I know about life before I was 14 is what other people have told me.  I was adopted by Dave and Sabby, and… and they’re the best parents I could ever want.  But the price I paid…  it was very high.”

She nodded.  “But the best things are expensive, right?  I know when I want something expensive, daddy will usually buy it for me, but he always tells me that things are expensive because they are valuable, and they’re valuable because people really want them, and people really want them because they have something about them that demands that price.  You’re telling me your parents were expensive.  It sounds like they are worth the price you paid.  Aren’t they?”

OMG.  No one has ever put it that way to me before.  Tears sprung to my eyes unbidden.

“Yes…” I sniffled.  “They’re worth everything I paid, and more besides.  My parents, and my boyfriend… everything… worth everything.”  And I wiped my eyes.

She smiled sadly.  “My daddy’s not a bad daddy.  He dotes on me and always makes sure I have everything I need and many of the things I want, and I know he loves me.  But… I didn’t have to pay a high price for him.  I got him for free.  You paid for yours.”

I just nodded.  She was right.  She was so right.

“Tell me about Texas,” she said.  “you have any pictures?”

I think we’re going to get along fine.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And it’s rainy here today!!!

Something called an “atmospheric river” – all the water just takes aim right at us and sploosh!!!  We get wet!!!  Awww!!!  And we had a pretty eventful couple of days,  Rebecca went back to school today, everyone else had to work, so it was pretty quiet.  I exercised in the morning, they really do have a nice exercise room, and otherwise just played on my tablet and took a nap.

I’m not a huge one for taking naps, but daylight savings did happen, and, well.

For a while I just sat out on the patio and watched the rain fall, it was surprisingly peaceful.  The pacific air really does smell nice.  Would I want to live here?  No.  Not even a little.  But I can see why they like the weather here.  At least… this time of year, I guess.

Rebecca came home, and brought a few of her friends!  She wanted them to meet me!  I guess they’d never met someone from Texas, and who’d also been to Japan, and the Oscars, and, well, I got a lot of questions!  She has an asian friend, but she’s about as Californian as they come – I’m not sure she even knows what part of Asia she comes from!  She’s really pretty, though.

We ordered pizza and they wanted to know everything.  They weren’t rude about it, or anything, they just had heard a lot about me.  They told me about the boys they were interested in.  Chelsi seems to really like surfing, she’s tall and blonde and likes to go down to Malibu and catch waves.  Britni, well…  she’s really sweet.  Said “I don’t know what that means” a lot, but adorable.  Seems her greatest goal in life is to marry a cute guy, have two and a half children, and never work a day in her life.  And, well, she’s well on her way.  Kari is wicked smart, kind of like Beth, but definitely a California girl – she wants to go to Stanford and be a CEO someday.  And Yu, well, she’s the asian girl, she has a bit of a chip on her shoulder about that so she really wanted to meet me.  They’re all pretty nice, but they kinda like to gossip and there were a lot of “Oh my God”s and “Really?” and “That’s so hot!”

They’re all different but you can tell they’re really good friends, that’s cool.  Or should I say hot.  Haha.  They’re staying over tonight, they’ll all go to school tomorrow.  They said they wished I could come see their school but… I don’t think that’s possible.  Robert overheard that and said he’d see what he could do, though.

They don’t do girl-piles though.  That must just be a lily thing.  But Rebecca has a big indoor tent with lots of blankets and pillows and sleeping bags, so that could be fun.  And no, silly-billies, no pillow fights.

I don’t think.

Well, actually…  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.

Anyway, gotta go.  They want to play truth or dare.  And considering how probing their questions were before, well, pray for me.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Well, the pillow fight happened.  Chelsi and I ended up whaling on each other while everyone else just sat there panting and watched the fight.  It was a fight of legends!  Me, who runs every day and works out, vs. a surfer girl!

It ended up being a tie.  Plus one of the pillows burst and there were feathers everywhere.

And we did play truth or dare.  Some of the questions were embarrassing!  And some of the dares even moreso!!!  They dared me to walk to the kitchen and get hot chocolate in one of Rebecca’s swimsuits!

It’s like a permanent wedgie!

Anyway, I went to the kitchen, because while it was a little embarrassing, it was pretty harmless.  Except it didn’t fit quiiiite right.  And remember how I said it didn’t cover anything more than it was supposed to?  Well, that was on Rebecca.  On me, if we’re being honest… well, some stuff showed that really shouldn’t have.

And her mother was in the kitchen.

She took one look at me, who was beet red and trying to cover up, and just said “truth or dare?”

“Truth or dare”, I nodded.

“Come with me.”

So we went back to the room, and she told me to change back into my pajamas, and I could hear her ripping Rebecca a new one.  I didn’t catch it all, but something like “expensive swimsuit and she stretched it” and “it fits you, not her, and you damn well knew that”, and “she’s a guest in this house and who do you think you are embarrassing her like that?”

…  quite honestly, that’s pretty much exactly what Sabby would have said.  And I am a little thicker and taller than Rebecca.  And, well, it didn’t fit.  I don’t even know why I went along with it.  Well, I guess I kinda do.  It’s truth or dare!

… come to think of it, nothing good has ever come from truth or dare when I’m playing it.  Remember Crystal?

Anyway, the game ended.  Her mother told us to go to bed, especially after noticing the feathers everywhere.  Shook her head on the way out muttering something about “wish I’d had a boy, damn it”.

So, anyway, this morning Robert was able to get me a tour of the high school!!!  I think he might have told a “white lie” to do it, but oh well.  I think he told them I was a prospective student.

Aww.

I’m not.

But anyway, they gave me a tour, and it really is a nice high school.  Lots of clubs and specialized rooms, and because the weather in LA is usually so good, they had a lot of outdoor space.  In Texas, I guess they could do that, but they usually don’t because it gets so hot so fast.

After that, Robert went back to work, and I took an Uber to the Galleria.  I mean, you can’t go to LA without going to a mall, right?  I picked up a few things but not a lot because it all has to go back with me on the plane!  Aww!!!

After everyone got home, we went to the Santa Monica pier!

Rush hour is AWFUL!!!  OMG so many cars!  Car upon car upon car!!!  But we got their eventually, and it was fun.  You walk out on the pier, and at the very end, the ocean breeze is pretty strong, and there are people crabbing!!!  I mean actually catching crabs out of the ocean!!!  I guess they’ll eat good!  It was pretty cloudy, but the clouds broke a bit, and we got to see the sun set.  Aww.  That was really pretty.

LA is really pretty.

I leave tomorrow.

I’ll be glad to go back home.  I miss Dave and Sabby and Texas and my not-fancy home that doesn’t have a pool or exercise room or game room.  But it has my family.  I guess… in some ways this is family too.  I mean, Robert is my birth father, Rebecca is my half sister, and, well, I guess his wife is along for the ride.  But they’re not the ones who adopted me when I needed them and loved me even from the beginning.

I will miss Rebecca, though.  I invited her to Texas, and I think she wants to come.  I think she’ll like it, though it will be a bit of a culture shock, I suppose.  But that’s how people grow, right?

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

And…  today is not a good day.

So I flew home today.  Robert took me to the airport.  Before I left, I gave Rebecca and her mother a hug and told Rebecca I’d look forward to seeing her in Texas soon.  She actually cried a little and made me cry too!  Aww!!!  But it’s okay.  I guess I made a new friend, not just a half-sister.  Sisters who are friends are as good as friends who are sisters!!!

A little choppy on the way home but we landed safely and Sabby came to pick me up.  She gave me a big hug, told me she missed me, and then told me Rebecca’s mother called and she and I would chat in the car.

I asked if I was in trouble, and she just said we’d chat in the car.

Uh-oh.

So as we were driving home, she pretty much laid into me about that game of truth-or-dare.  She said that the girls shouldn’t have dared me like that, but I knew better, and whatever possessed me to go to the kitchen dressed in glorified dental floss where my birth father could see?  She said I was lucky that it was his wife that saw me, and that if she had chosen to punish me for that, she would have supported her.  I mean, she went off.  She also said that she thought I was more mature than that, that she couldn’t believe I let them “peer pressure” me into doing that, whatever that means, and that if I ever pulled a stunt like that again, no matter what game I was playing, that she’d take me over her knee herself – BEFORE I put my pajamas back on.

Owwww.

She’s never went off on me like that.

Awwww.

Worse that she’s right.  I remember how she went off on Beth for doing something similar to Crystal, I should have known better.

But, she didn’t ground me or anything.  Truth is there’s not much she could ground me from other than from seeing Jack, and she likes Jack.  But she told me if I ever pull anything like that again, she will.

Honestly…  she’s right.  She really is.  I thought I was more mature than that too.  It’s not like I really wanted to be accepted by them, it’s just… there were four of them and one of me, and all of my friends are younger than me.  I mean, Beth, Diana, Crystal, Especially Allison… well, Liz is a tiny bit older I guess.  But they wanted to play that game, and I didn’t see any real harm in it, and…  and they were a little more, I guess… adventurous than my friends here would be.  I went along with it because I.. well… went along with it.

So, I guess that won’t happen again.

I guess Rebecca didn’t get off unscathed either.  She actually did get grounded.  Awwww.

But I guess it’s a good thing.  It means Robert and his wife can be somewhat trusted.  They might let her wear that “glorified dental floss”, but they’re actually pretty good parents, and…  that’s a good thing, I guess.

Still sucks.

But that’s one of two confrontations I had today.  The second was Beth.  When we finally got home after my reaming and eventual hug, Beth was there.  She gave me a big hug and told me she missed me, and Marie of course jumped all over me like she hadn’t seen me for a year.  That was cute. I told Beth I missed her too, but that we needed to talk.

She had the decency to blush a bit.

I told her that I was sick and tired of her always getting jealous of me, that I’d gladly trade my life for hers, but that she’d have to take all of my life, and that means losing all of her memories, her identity, everything that makes her her, and that I was getting really annoyed with how that seemed to not actually mean anything to her.  Yes, I got to go to the Oscars.  Was she willing to pay the price that I did for the opportunity??

She just turned red, said I didn’t understand, and stomped off to her room.

Well, she’s right.  I don’t understand, and I’m tired of it.

She’s not talking to me right now.  I care, but I don’t care.  I’m tired of her always being jealous every time something good happens to me.

Liz is over tonight.  I missed her.  A lot.

Well, right up until she started fake-gushing and asked for my autograph.  Little jerk.  Hahaha!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Ummm.  Today is St. Patrick’s day.  It’s supposed to be a day about luck, I guess.  But I don’t really feel all that lucky.

Which is entirely stupid, but it’s how I feel.  Maybe I’m the luckiest girl on the planet, but I don’t feel like the luckiest girl on the planet.  I feel terrible.

Beth still isn’t talking to me.  She’s not chewing me out or being nasty, which I guess is a good sign because, you know, Beth, but she’s not talking to me.  Sabby thinks maybe I was a bit hard on her, and maybe I was, but I’m sick of it! I mean, really sick of it!  I’m so sick and tired of her not being able to be happy for me, of not being able to have anything good happen to me without knowing Beth is going to get a bit snippy about it.  She’s my sister but sometimes…  I guess maybe sisters annoy the snot out of each other sometimes.

And here’s the worst thing:  Sabby asked me today how much I’ve included Beth in any of the good things that have happened to me?  I mean, I know she’s had a part time job at the shop as a cashier or kinda-waiter or whatever, but most of the time she can’t share.  Like when I learned how to drive, she was younger so she couldn’t.  Or when I went to the Oscars, she couldn’t because she, well, wasn’t there.  And when I went to Japan, she couldn’t.  Or even Orlando.  All this stuff I’ve done and haven’t shared any of it with her.  Maybe sometimes she’s right to be jealous.  I’m not a very good sister.  I’ve never been a very good sister.  Not with David, not with Beth.

I couldn’t always control it.  Robert’s my birth father, not hers.  Liz is my best friend, not hers (though she has hers too).  Emiko is my birth mother, not hers.  So I went to LA, to Orlando, to Japan, all because of those people.  But she…  does she know anyone she can visit or go on vacations with or…

She, well, doesn’t.

But if I haven’t been a good sister, she hasn’t been a good sister either.  I mean, she could be happy for me, right?  She could be like “Lily! You got to go to the Oscars! I’m so happy for you!” but instead it’s “Why does she always get the good stuff” or “Why Lily this” or “why Lily that”…  and even though I forgive her, I still remember how she hated me when Dave and Sabby first took me in.  Forgiveness is easier than forgetting, right?

I keep saying that I’d trade it with her in a moment, if I could.  She can HAVE all of this!  She can have the trips, the birth mother, the birth father, even the semi-bratty sister… she can have all of it!  I’d give it to her!  I’d tell her to take it all and give me the normal life with two parents who love me that I can remember, and her brains, and her beauty…  I’d take it all and give it all, if she wanted it and I could.  But I can’t.  I can’t give it to her.  All I can do is take the cards I’m dealt, which were some really bad cards and some really good cards, and try to turn those lemons into lemonade.  And I keep telling her that.  I would!  She can have it!

But I can’t!!!

I can’t give it to her! I can’t trade!!!

I can’t get my memories back!!!

I…  I have to go.  I’m going to cry.  I’m really going to cry.

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

You get a rare daytime post.

That’s because today I have a lot to say and I don’t want to be typing until all hours of the night.  I think today is going to be a long post.  Grab some popcorn and chocolate, or maybe chocolate covered popcorn…

So I… was right.  Last night I clicked “Submit”, locked my computer, went over to my bed, laid down in it, and just… cried.  I cried and cried, so hard that I was actually running out of breath and gasping for air between sobs.  I don’t often cry that hard, but last night, I did.  I was crying so hard that at one point Sabby came in and scooped me up, and I don’t even remember her doing it.  I just looked up, and there she was, petting my hair and whispering soothing words to me.

Even Marie was a bit worried, she was snuggled up to me too.

Eventually I dropped off to sleep and Sabby tucked me in.  I didn’t sleep well.

I woke up this morning bleary-eyed and with all sorts of eye-crusties.  Sabby heard me moving around and brought me some hot chocolate.  She always knows the right thing to do, y’know?  She’s a good mother.  I haven’t gotten her a shake in a while, I probably should.

“Do you want to talk about it now?”, she said as I sipped my chocolate.

“Not really,” I said.  “But I probably should.”

“So what was that about?”

I was quiet for a moment.  “Beth doesn’t understand.”

“She’s fifteen.  She’s lucky if she understands how to brush her teeth in the morning.”

I snorted. “She’s smarter than me,” I said, a little forcefully.  “By a lot, actually.”

“She’s pretty book-smart, yes.  But… between you and me, she’s a bit spoiled.”

“She is?”

“A bit.” I hope she doesn’t read this.  “Not like Rebecca, from what you’ve told me, but.. she’s never wanted for anything, if she needed something, we got it for her.  She’s had a pretty comfortable life.”

I was quiet.

“To her, you’re even more spoiled than she is,” Sabby said sadly.  “You’re the golden child.  Everyone loves you.  You get everything you want, even if you don’t want it.  And worse, you get everything she wants and we can’t or won’t give her.”

“I’m not -“

She shook her head.  “No, I don’t think you are.  But it’s not your opinion we’re talking about, here.”

I shrugged.  “I guess not.”

“And look at it from her point of view.  You take so many trips.  You went to Orlando, to Japan, to LA.  You even go to Houston sometimes to see Emiko.  And you never invite her.”

“Sabby – I”

She held her hand up.  “I know why you didn’t.  They’re you’re family, not hers.  You’re not wrong.  But…  what does that tell her?”

… “She’s not my family.  Not really.”

“You’re a good girl, Lily.  I’m sure you didn’t mean to send that message.  But…  I’m afraid you did.”

She stood up.  “I have things to do.  I’m not sure she’ll make the first move, Lily.  She’s still your sister.  Don’t let this go on too long.”

I sighed, and flopped back onto my bed.  Maybe Sabby’s right.  Of course she’s my sister.  I take her to class all the time, and we brush each others’ hair, and make girl piles with our friends, and…  and I cut her out of everything that’s important to me.  Sometimes I don’t have a choice.  I couldn’t take her to LA, especially because I didn’t know Robert well yet.  I couldn’t take her to Japan, because Emiko was paying for the trip and I couldn’t very well drag her along with me.  Maybe I could have taken her to Orlando, but…  but that would have been imposing on Liz’s family.  I couldn’t have done it any differently, but…  but should I have tried?

Maybe I should have tried.

So after a little while, I knocked on Beth’s door.

“Who is it?”

“Lily.”

“Go away.”

“No.”

“I said go away!”

“Beth, you’re my sister.  If I go away, then…  then you’ll still be mad and I’ll still be sad and tomorrow you’ll be mad more and I’ll be sad more and… and it won’t fix anything.” I sighed and started to walk away.

The door opened.

“What do you want?”

“Just to talk.”

She walked back to her bed and sat down.  Her pajamas were rumpled and she looked like she’d been crying too.  “Well, talk.”

I was quiet for a moment.  Well, might as well throw Sabby under the bus.  “Sabby explained to me a bit about how… you might be feeling.”

“And what did she say?”

“She said I’ve left you out of my life.”

“She’s not wrong.”

“I didn’t mean to.”, I said sadly.

“Of course you didn’t!,” she said, raising her voice a little.  “That’s the worst part.  It didn’t even occur to you.  You just went off and did your thing, and it never even occurred to you to include me.  After all,” she spat, “I’m just your sister.”

Ouch.  That girl really knows how to stab with words.

“Beth =”

“I’m legally your sister, Lily!  And we promised to be sisters, too!  I’m as much your sister as Rebecca is!  And maybe more!  We’ve brushed each others’ hair almost every night!  You take me to class all the time!  We spend so much time together, and when it comes time to meet people who are important to you, I’m.. I’m not your sister anymore!”

“I couldn’t -”

“Maybe you couldn’t take me to LA, but it never even occurred to you to try!  You always just go off and do your own thing, and see your family, and you never stop to think… that… that I’m your…  your family…”  She put her head in her hands and started sobbing.

Awww.

“I’ve watched you go to Japan and ” – sniff – “see your cousins, and have a great time, and ” – sniff = “Go to Orlando with Liz and meet your boyfriend, and… and…  you never even thought of me!  And the worst thing is, is that you’re not awful!  You’re probably feeling awful right now, and you never even thought of me.” She flopped on her side and sobbed.  “I… I don’t mean anything to you, do I, Lily?”

Well, this is awkward.

So I made a big spoon and pulled her back into me.  She struggled weakly for a bit but the sobs overcame her, and I did what Sabby did last night.  You know, petting her hair, letting her cry it out.  It’s the least I could do.

“Of course you do,” I said when her sobs started receding a little.  I know how it feels to run out of tears.  “You mean everything to me.”

I kissed her forehead, and she hiccuped.

“But they mean a lot to me too.  I have…  I have a lot to catch up with.”

“I don’t want you to stop seeing them.  I just… I just want you to treat me like your real sister.  Not a sister-for-hire who is a sister when you want and a best friend when you want and in the way when you want.”

“You know I can’t always -“

“OF COURSE YOU CAN’T’, she said, and sniffled again.  “But you can at least think of me.”

Dangit.

I hate it when she’s right.

Could I have brought her to LA with me?  Probably not.  But… but I could have asked.

Sabby would have said no, and I wouldn’t blame her.  Robert might have said no, and I might not have blamed him.  She probably wouldn’t have been able to go.  But I could have asked, and I didn’t.  I just assumed.

And… she fell asleep.

I guess…  I guess it’s time to be a sister.

And it started with letting her sleep in my arms.

Obviously, she woke up.  And I think we’re okay now.

But with all this Beth drama, I never got a chance to talk about what I think about LA.  I think..  I think I’ll either do that tonight, or tomorrow night.  right now…  right now I need to do something with Beth.  I don’t know what.  But something.  Tomorrow Jack and I will see each other.  But this afternoon is for Beth.  Her birthday is next week too, and…  well, I think I need to make it special.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And back to the grind, I guess!!!

I have it on good authority that Beth is going to have a VERY good birthday this year.  I mean, you only turn sixteen once, right?  Well, except I did twice.  Haha!!  But we shall not say any more about that, because, well, DUH.

So…  well, who saw that coming?  It turns out all my friends want to meet each other.  So I set up a group chat, and everyone’s on it!  Ai, Liz, Beth, Rebecca, her friends, me of course..  It’s one big party!  Well…  I’m sure there will be hurt feelings every now and then, but…  I’ve got so many friends and friends of friends that it only made sense!  Chelsi posted some pictures of her surfing!  She’s really good, and Ai’s a little jealous!!!  But then Ai posted a picture of her in a Japanese garden in kimono, and Yu is a bit jealous!  And then Diana posted photos of her famous tacos, and EVERYONE wants a taste!!!

But I think it’s pretty cool.  Everyone is getting to know each other.

I hope I don’t regret that, for real.

Anyway, so I haven’t posted a shop update lately.  It’s going well.  Katie’s running a pretty tight ship, cat-girl is coordinating outfits and, well, being cat-girl…  The Baker is baking up a storm…  everyone’s getting along pretty well.  There’s still a tiny bit of friction between cat-girl and Katie, but Katie can’t deny how much business cat-girl drums up.  We have a couple more cat-girls and they’re pretty good too, but they have their own style of cosplay.  One of them dresses up in a skintight suit like neon genesis evangelion.  I mean, it’s skintight.  In fact, Sabby had a bit of an issue with it, until she showed Sabby the manga and, well, it really is that tight.  So Sabby begrudgingly said it was okay.  I asked her how she manages to wear that all day!  She said it’s breathable, so it’s actually really comfortable.

I asked her how she keeps underwear lines from showing.

She wouldn’t tell me.

Hahaha!!!  Maybe I don’t want to know anyway!

And then there’s manga girl.  She likes to dress up like characters from Japanese manga.  In practice, that means Japanese schoolgirl outfits.  And, well…  the three of them together?  They, ummm…  I’m actually wondering if we should hire a security guard.  They really attract the business.

Baker kind of got in the spirit.  She dresses a little bit like a 1950s short order cook, except the apron is a lot cleaner.

Sabby refuses to dress up, though, and so does Katie.  They say the uniforms are enough dressing up.  I’ve gone down there a couple of times with my puffy, frilly outfit, and everyone said I was so cute.  Especially when I put bows in my hair and do it up in twintails.  I guess I am!  But mostly, I just leave it to the cat-girls.

And while I was gone, baker made up the order for my “benefactor” – it was a really large order.  It fit on a rather large pallet.  In fact, we had no idea how to get it to them… but a rather large truck showed up with some guys in suits and sunglasses, and they pallet jacked it right on there.  They said “thanks”, and drove off.  I guess they were going to take it down to Austin Bergstrom and fly it out on a freighter.  Who IS my benefactor, anyway???

And, of course, full payment appeared mysteriously in our bank account.  That was quite a tidy sum, let me tell you.

My benefactor sent me a courier a couple of days later saying that everyone wherever he or she works LOVED them.  I’m not going to say they might have greased the wheels a bit between Russia and Ukraine… but they might have!!!! Hahha!!!

Manga-girl told me that one guy came in dressed like a male protagonist and… gave her a headpat!!!

Hahah!!!

Everyone else told me she giggled like a little girl and blushed insanely, and everyone’s been picking on her about that for weeks!  Hahaha!!!

Okay, well, that’s the shop update.  We’re doing well,  Weve been talking about opening another location in South Austin, but…  we’re putting that off for a bit in favor of letting our bank account grow.

I went shopping for Beth’s present today!  And it was hard!  But I found it!  Hahah!!! Yatta!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Beth’s birthday is on the 25th!!!  That’s in four days!!!  And we’re going all out!!!  We’ve got Baker baking a really nice cake, we’ve got ice cream and all sorts of other sweet stuff.  I’m not going to say everything here, obviously, but we’ve got some PLANS.  Good news is that’s on a Saturday, so…

You wanna know what kinda plans we got?  We rented a place!!!

But no more about that.  Ssssssssshhhh!!!!

I had chocolate! Can you tell???

Anyway, I’ve had all sorts of long posts lately, so how about a short one?  This will be a short one!  But I hear Allison had a trip to Enchanted Rock!  I hope she had a good time!!!  We’ll see her Saturday!!!

Okay!  Gotta go!!!

Love you all!!! ❤