Category: Diary

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And, umm…  it just gets weirder.

So, as we do most Sundays, we went to church.  You know, putting on some nice clothes, piling into the car, going in and shaking hands and hugging old ladies, you know, that kind of thing.  And we did all the stand up sit down sing and chant kind of stuff, you know, the churchy stuff.  But then the pastor got up and started his sermon.

He said he was going to step down for a few weeks for reflection.  And then he said that he experienced something this week that completely threw him for a loop.  And he made the sermon about keeping an open mind, but not so open that your brain falls out.

That’s pretty funny.

But I think I know what he’s talking about.

He told us the assistant pastor would take his place for that time, and that he was fine, just needed some time to study and reflect.

After church I of course went up to him and asked him whether I was the reason he was stepping down for a while.  He must have seen the worry in my face because he took me into his office.  He sat down behind his desk, and I sat in front of it.

“Lily,” he said, “I can tell you that I’ve never experienced anything like that in my life.  In fact, I called up a few pastor friends and they told me they’d never heard of that either.  A couple actually refused to believe it at all.  But, there it is, and you have a…  flower of unknown origin… to show for it.”  He sighed.  “My faith is fine, but…  I’m not sure where this fits into it.” He learned forward.  “Lily, we’re taught from the day we become a Christian that God has power, and manifests it through Jesus.  We’re taught to pray, and expect answers to prayer… we’re taught that anything’s possible with God…”  He leaned back again.  “We’re not really taught to expect him to speak quite that directly,” he said.  “Some other sects expect that… well… more than mine.”

“You do think it was God?”

“I do,” he said, with a hint of wonder in his voice.  “Everything I’ve ever learned says he doesn’t behave that way, and yet… there it is.  I just… need some time to reflect on it.  To talk with some of my fellow pastors.  Maybe my bishop.  Don’t worry, I won’t tell them who you are.”

I wasn’t really worried about that, but I appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

“Lily,” he said, “you’re clearly a very special girl.  I’ve never met anyone like you, and,” he darkly chuckled, “I don’t think I ever will again.  Whatever your gifts are, be thankful for them.  You were given them for a reason.”

He got up and gave me a quick “side-hug” (he’s a nice man) and I went back to my family, who was waiting for me.

Sabby just looked at me questioningly.

“It’s fine,” I said.  “I think I broke him.”

I haven’t seen Sabby laugh that hard in a while.  She was still chuckling as we headed to the car.  And the chocolate pancakes were delicious as always.

This afternoon, I went to Jack’s birthday party.  It wasn’t a raucous affair, but there was me and Grace and his family, and a few of his workmates and classmates.  They had cake and ice cream and his family bought him a car too!!! That’s nice of them.  It’s not a fancy car but it’s nice enough, and he really appreciated it.  They also gave him a subscription to one of those learning websites.  I guess there was hint there, heh.

We didn’t get any time alone but that’s not the point of a party anyway, and Grace had a great time, with chocolate smeared all over her face and a huge grin.  That’s a girl after my own heart!

I did give him a big birthday kiss.  I think it lasted a bit too long.  His workmates started cat-calling, his classmates seemed a bit uncomfortable, and his parents started clearing their throats and tapping their feet.  WORTH IT!!!

I go back to class tomorrow.  I wonder what this week will bring.

Foreshadowing?  How should I know???

Hahaha!!!

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!

Well…  I didn’t write last night.  There was a pretty good reason for that.  I’m ok, don’t worry.  Well, I’m mostly okay.

So yesterday was Friday.  I didn’t sleep well.  Every time I’d drop off to sleep I’d wake up with a start.  I woke up pretty bleary eyed and not feeling too great.  But I did my run anyway.  Everything just feels… off.  Like I’m living someone else’s life.  I mean, why do all these things happen to me?  From what I was told, I was just a bystander, and stuff…  happened.  It’s not fair.  It’s not fair!!!

But it does explain a lot, I think.  I’ve wondered often why I never seem to fight too much with my sisters, or more accurately, why they never really seem to fight with me.  I just seem to attract people.  Even before, I thought it was the weirdest thing.  The owner told me I was like his own daughter (and we still keep in touch).  Even the guys who assaulted me seemed attracted to me for some reason.  Karens, well, they’re gonna karen no matter what.  But I just collect sisters like some people collect trading cards.  Even Katie wanted Sabby and I to be in her baby daughter’s life!!!  That never happens!!!

Well… don’t say never… but it’s really unusual, isn’t it?

And then what happened in the Japanese garden, with Crystal!  I mean, yes, it’s a peaceful place, and yes, it’s a place many people go when they want to find peace and healing, but I just touched the back of her neck and it all got better!  Isn’t that weird, after all?  I’ve never heard of that before!

And Beth!!!  Beth hated me!  And then one day, she just decided she wanted to be my sister.  Even though she’s been jealous a little after that, she’s always been my sister from then!!! That doesn’t happen!  Usually they either hate you forever or it takes long time for people to trust you, but it was like a light switch with her.  Remember?  She just said “I always wanted a sister” and got all cuddly.

It doesn’t seem to quite work the same with boys, (THANKFULLY) but Jack knew he wanted me from the moment he laid eyes on me, and that usually doesn’t happen either.  Of course it’s not unheard of, but it’s not usual.  And he’s stuck with me for almost two years now.

And I’m pretty sure it’s not because I have nice floppy bits.  Okay, not JUST because I have nice floppy bits.  They are nice..  Firm and squishy and… ummm…

Ahem.

So I was in a funk yesterday.  I still kind of am.  Sometimes I look at that lycoris radiata – I still don’t exactly know what it’s made of, it’s not like anything I’ve ever touched before – and there’s a very small light shining inside it, almost imperceptible even at night, but it’s there.  I guess I could have it tested, but…  that might ruin it, and it’s a gift in a way, so I just have to live with it.  It doesn’t seem harmful, in fact, it’s a little warm to the touch and a little bit comforting.  I did have Dave run a geiger counter next to it just to be sure, and it’s perfectly safe radiation-wise.

My “benefactor” did send a courier, along with a note.  Apparently, our terms are acceptable.  Which is good, because I’m not sure what would have happened if they weren’t.  We sent back an address and time, as well as a few cookies.

Anyway, the girls came over last night.  You know how some nights we make about one of the girls?  Like a few times Crystal became the guest of honor and we pampered the snot out of her?  Well… that’s what they did for me last night.  They put me in my pajamas and then washed my hair and massaged my scalp (oh I looooove it when people do that) and gave me a makeover (they didn’t change much but oh how good the hair and face feels) and one even rubbed warm oil on my feet and I just turned into a warm gooey puddle of melted-lily.  No, silly-billies, it was all perfectly innocent, but I’ll tell you, having four girls just doting on me like that, by the end I had no sensible thoughts in my brain except “oh, this is sooooooooo nice”.  One even fed me chocolate!!! Then after they were done, they sandwiched me in a girl pile and whispered soothing things at me and played with my hair until I went to sleep.

And oh what a restful sleep it was.  Sometimes I’d wake up and they’d be right there, plopped all over me or snuggling with me or whatever, and I just went right back to sleep again.

That’s why I didn’t post.  They wouldn’t let me.  Every time I tried they just found something else to do and I just drifted off into a haze again.

Anyway, I woke up pretty rested.

I love my sisters, and it seems they really love me too.

Maybe…  maybe having this kind of a “gift”, whatever it is, isn’t such a bad thing after all.  Not because of what they do for me, but because…  because we want to do that for each other, you know?  We really are sisters.

Today we spent the day together – it feels so much, sometimes, like there’s nothing that can hurt me while they’re around.  It’s hot, as usual, but we just went to the mall and did girl-stuff together (boys have this stupid idea of what girl-stuff is, but…  do you boys really think browsing the feminine hygiene aisle and stocking up is hot?  silly-billies) and I feel a lot better tonight.

But I still have no idea what’s going on.  There’s still stuff that I don’t know, and I might find out in a couple of weeks, and that actually scares me a little.

But I didn’t really find out anything today, and…  I’m very happy about that.  The last few days were a bit much, don’t you think?

Maybe my “gift” (I don’t know for sure) helps me attract sisters.  And i love them and do everything I can for them.  But…  it works for me too, and I’m very, very thankful for that.

Tomorrow is Jack’s birthday party.  I’ll get to meet some of his other friends!!!

Love you all!!!  ❤️

Especially my sisters!

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And oh boy did it hit the fan today.

Well, first: Today is Jack’s birthday.  His party is this weekend, but I went over to spend some time with him anyway,  We didn’t get any time alone, but that’s okay.  It was nice to spend some time with him and his family.

Grace is cute as always!  And she had much to tell me.

Anyway, when I got home, a courier had come by and had a letter waiting for me, along with a package.

Lily,

Your diary last night caused quite a stir, and has changed a few things in our community.  

I would like to attend your birthday party, along with a guest.  Please let me know if this is acceptable, and let me know time and place.  Other than my guest, I will come alone, though I’m sure you understand that there will be security forces within easy reach.  I promise, I come in peace.  Especially given the revelations of last night, it is now time to “come clean”, as it were.  I will tell you what I am able.  You are and always have been a completely innocent party.

Please accept my early birthday present as a token of goodwill.

Your “Benefactor”

Oh… my…

I opened the package, and sure enough, there was a pile of the good chocolate – you know, the stuff that you have to import, and not cheap either.  Also, there was another box inside, which I was asked not to open until my “benefactor” was present with me.  So I set that aside and will do so.

I talked to Sabby, and she’s a little nervous about it.  I don’t blame her.  But my “benefactor” has already proven they know where I live, and has even ordered cookies from our store multiple times, so I don’t think there’s any danger.  I mean, I haven’t done anything wrong, but Sabby said neither had a certain former president and he got arrested tonight, so…  she doesn’t trust them.

But…  how else am I going to know?

Benefactor, I accept.  Send a courier tomorrow, and we will provide the information you request.  But, to assuage Sabby’s worries, we’re going to give you a very public place to meet us.  She doesn’t trust someone as high up in the government, and you yourself said “We are honorable, but not always honest”.  I don’t imagine that if you had nefarious intentions, that would stop you, but please understand.  She’s being a lion.  That’s Sabby.  Once she’s comfortable, we’ll take you to the actual place.

I have no idea how I’m going to sleep now.  This… is a lot.

And that’s not even talking about all the conversations we had about what happened yesterday, but I’m going to save that for another day.  And there were a lot of them.

Sabby’s going to have to write it down, though.  I don’t know where the party will be either.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I… had a dream.

It was so real.

Remember that dream I told you about a long time ago?  I can’t remember exactly when, let me look it up.  Oh.  Here it is.  It was very much like that dream, I was in the field again, and I was a little girl.  The sky was perfect blue, the clouds puffy, the temperature was perfect.  There were fruits and breads on the blanket, and some juices too.  And the woman who was there in my last dream, was there, with me.

‘Yuriko”, she said, her voice melodious.  “Or, Lily, now.”

“Vanessa Rittenhouse?”, I asked, my voice a little higher than I’m used to.

“I was once known as that, yes,” she said.  “I’ve been given permission to visit you one final time.  Ask me any question.  I will answer if I can.”

“What can’t you answer?,” I asked.

“Ask me and find out,” she said softly.

“What happened to my memories?”, I asked.

She chuckled softly.  “You went right for it, I see.  That’s my Yuriko.  Well, the answer is, we don’t know.  We had taken you to work with us to see the experiment we were doing.  The experiment failed.  We don’t know how.  No one where I am will tell me, except to say that we shouldn’t have done it.  You were far enough away from the experiment that it didn’t hurt you.  Well… much.  We…  were not so lucky.”

“What was the experiment?”, I asked, my mind reeling.

“I can’t tell you, not exactly,” she said.  “We were playing with energies, with realms, that are not toys and should not be played with.  Some things…  some things are better left alone.”  She sniffled.  “I wish we’d realized that then.”

“Will I ever get my memories back?”

Her gaze went unfocused for a short time. “Very unlikely,” she said.  “Not impossible, but no one in my realm has figured out how to do it, either.  And we have vastly more resources available to us.”

I frowned.  This wasn’t good news.

“How did I end up on the side of the road?”, I asked.

“We don’t know,” she said softly.  “At that time, we were in a time of, shall we say, transition.  We were preoccupied.  We didn’t see what happened.”

I sat quietly.  A bird was chirping in the distance.  It was a high, clear call, oddly beautiful.

“Why is my dog named Marie?”, I asked.

“Well, that should be obvious,” she chuckled.  “Marie Curie”.

The bird call was getting a little louder.

“What does ‘lycoris radiata’ mean?”, I asked.

“It is your flower,” she said.  “A symbol of death, but beautiful all on its own.  They are the flowers of the heavens.  The accident opened heaven, Lily.  It opened heaven, and it opened hell, and you were touched by heaven in a way few humans ever are.  Lily, many beings are watching over you.  You are loved, both on earth and in heaven.  Always remember that, Lily.  You are loved.”

The bird call was almost deafening now, and I woke up.  It was my alarm clock, beeping incessantly.

There was something on my chest.

It was iridescent, impossibly light but every petal seemingly immovable, shining with a light from within.

“You are loved,” it whispered into my heart.”

I just laid there, looking at it.  How did it get into my room?

Then I screamed.

Dave and Sabby came running in, and I just started blubbering.  They looked at me, and the glass-like flower, with confusion, and finally Sabby just took me in her arms and I started wailing, in a combination of terror, confusion, and… sadness.  I told them about my dream, and they looked at the flower, and then me.  And they told me to get showered and dressed, we were going to see the pastor.

I guessed that was as good a plan as any, and I complied.

An hour later, we were at the pastor’s house, and he looked like he had just woken up.  We sat down on his sofa.

“What happened that was so urgent that you had to wake me up at this hour of day?”, he asked, chuckling but also making clear he was dead serious.

So I told him.  Everything.  I told him about my dream, and then showed him the flower.

He took the flower, and spun it around a little to see it from all angles.  He sighed.  “All I can think of to do is pray over it,” he said.

And so he did.

As we were praying, we all heard a soft, disembodied voice.  It was gentle, and it said this:  “Lily has been given a gift.  It comes from great sadness and suffering, as do the most precious gifts.  Do not fear, but rejoice.  Look on the flower, and remember.”

And then it was silent.

The pastor was quiet.  “Lily… I have never had that happen before.”

“Is… is it okay?”

He was quiet for a bit longer.  “I think it is.  Lily, what did the woman say again about the reason you lost your memories?”

I thought for a bit.  “She said that I had been touched by heaven.”

“Who else among us can claim that as directly as you?, he asked, shaking his head.  “Tell me if anything else happens, but what else can I say?  I heard the same message you did.  I’m just a pastor,” he said wistfully.  “I help people find God, as best I know how.  It.. seems he has found you.”

Lycoris Radiata.  Red Spider Lily.  My flower.  Touched by heaven…

I have much to think about.  But, if I’m being honest, I’m a little afraid to sleep tonight.

Love you all!!! ❤️

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s still hot!  Really hot!!!  There’s a tropical storm moving by to the south, but we got just a very little bit of rain today.  Awww.

Jack made his appointment with a career counselor, but he’s still not really happy about it.  I’m staying as much out of it as I can, but I’m his girlfriend, so I still get a bit of the blowback.  Aww.  I do think he sees why it’s necessary, he’s just… finding it a little difficult, for whatever reason.  But we’ll see what the career counselor says.

I’m not really sure what he’d be good at, but it’s not because I don’t think he’d be good at anything!  He just hasn’t shown me a lot.  He’s not hiding it from me, he just…  coasts.  So I don’t really know what he’s great at.  He’s pretty good with people, I think, if a bit introverted.  He’s a good big brother and boyfriend.  But career-wise?  He’s never shown much passion at anything, so I don’t know.

Oh well.  Let’s see what happens.

Otherwise it’s pretty quiet.  All the birthday preparations are happening.  The girls are doing some chattering without me, but they won’t tell me what’s going on.  Even if I begged and pleaded and offered chocolate.  Beth told me chocolate works on me more than it works on her.  Aww.  Girl’s right.

I don’t know what I could bribe Beth with.  Dark matter?  Haha.

They seem to like having a secret from me but they said it’s about my birthday and to STOP PUSHING.

Aww.

But I stopped pushing.  For now.  Muahaha.

Anyway, no point in trying to find too much to talk about on a boring day, so…

Love you all!!! ❤

HI! It’s me! Lily!!!

And… there’s been a bit of drama.  That’s why I didn’t write last night.

So yesterday we did the normal Sunday stuff.  You know, go to church, get chocolate pancakes, come home…  and Jack’s really having a bad time of it.

His parents had a long talk with him.

They told him that he’s turning eighteen, and that they’re not going to force him out or anything like that, but that he’d better get his butt in gear and figure out what he wants to do, because they’re not going to be housing him when he’s thirty.  And then they said that if he wants their approval to marry me someday, he’d better start planning to take care of me and any children we might have, because they won’t.

That, apparently, led to a pretty huge fight.  One I didn’t really take sides in, and now he’s a little snippy with me about that too.

I’m not going to take their side because.. he’s my boyfriend.  But I’m not going to take his side… because they’re right.

I don’t really know what to say or do.  He’s not being mean or horrible to me or anything like that, just a little… distant.

But it’s not a problem I can solve, is it?

He knows I’ll support him in whatever he wants to do, but he has to do something.  I don’t even care if he holes up in a room and writes the great american novel, or learns how to day trade, or even trades crypto (as long as he’s smart about it!).  I might have some money, but it won’t last forever.

He’s being a little sullen about it, but they’re offering an aptitude test at his school, and he’s set up an appointment with a career counselor.  I think it’s a matter of pride for him, but he knows he has to do something.  I wish I could help him find what he’s passionate about.. .well, he has, but I’m not a career.  Haha!!!

Though Sabby might say I’m a full time job.

He also needs to start applying to colleges too if he wants to get in.  His grades are okay.  Not perfect, but okay.  He might have to wait a year to establish residency here before he can attend a state college, but there may be other options.  Maybe he can go to ACC with me!  He’s not the most mechanically oriented but he could learn a trade.  I guess we’ll see how the career counselor works out.

I need to see one too.  I don’t really know what I want to do.  Like I said, I know some things, but… not what to do for a career.  Maybe I’m already doing what I want to do for a career!!!  But probably not.  I mean, yes, the business is doing alright, but I’m not nearly as involved in it as Sabby is, and… I don’t know.

It’s hard being an adult, isn’t it?

I wish I was back to two years ago, sometimes, when it was nothing but going to the mall and the waterpark.  Sabby told me then that I should enjoy being young because it wouldn’t ever come back… and she was so right.  She’s always right.

She told me if I do what cat-girl does, though, she’ll remove the tail, and not be gentle about it either.  She’s scary!

Anyway…  guess I should go.  I’m not feeling good about things right now.  But… it’ll work out.  Or it won’t.  Shikataganai, as Emiko would say.  Can’t be helped.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

Jack’s parents invited me over today to help plan his birthday.  They said we’ve been together for over a year and a half now, so that pretty much makes me family, and I get to help plan my boyfriend’s party.

That’s nice of them.  But I’m not good at that kind of thing.

So I basically just nodded at all the right places and said “sounds good to me”.

We’ll have it next weekend, even though his birthday is on the 24th.  He has school, after all.

They were talking about having a party for me at the same time, and I said no, they’re invited to my party if they want to come, but this is for him.  They seemed satisfied with my answer.  I wonder if that was a test.  They’re not above testing me sometimes.  I think I fail a few, but pass a few too, so it works out I guess.  They never forbade us…

And after my birthday, they can’t.

But that doesn’t mean they don’t have leverage…

I just realized that I probably actually have enough money to buy a house, but I also think considering that I want to go to school in Tokyo, that might be a terrible idea.  But if I can afford it, maybe an investment property isn’t the worst idea.  I’ll talk to Dave and Sabby about it.  Even if I were to do that, maybe it’s not the right time.

It’s a little…  weird… having to make my own decisions now, isn’t it?

I owe it to them to be responsible, I think.  Sabby’s been really pounding that into me, and she’s right.  It’s too easy not to be, y’know?

Anyway… Allison left today (after we fed her grilled cheese sandwiches with sugar free maple syrup) but all the other girls stayed over.  We went to the mall and wandered around, and had something from the food court.  It’s always fun going with them, but we mostly just window shop.  Now we’re all full of pizza, playing games and about to get ready for bed.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s Friday!!!

You know, I don’t really know when it became a thing we do that all the girls come over on Friday, but that’s been the case most Fridays for a long time now.  We get into our jammies (and no, you silly-billies, they’re just flannel things that are warm and comfy, so stop imagining.  pppppppbbbbttttt) and play games and eat chocolate and leftover pizza and and share videos and photos and talk to all our friends in Japan and SoCal.  I look forward to it all week, spending time with my sisters.

And this week Allison’s over too!!!  She doesn’t get to come over often because she’s little and has other things to do, but her mother isn’t feeling well and she wanted to come over, so she’s here!!!  She likes her new school but feels a bit like a misfit, but I told her that’s okay, we all feel like misfits when trying new stuff!!! How do you think I felt the first time I went to Japan! I’m taller than most of them!  Even the men!!!

I’m teaching everyone how to play a card game called “doodle” I found online.  It’s so much fun!!!  You have to be fast.  It’s not one of those card games where you take turns and take tricks and go fish and all that.  It’s a free for all, arms are flying and girls are yelling “doodle!”  It’s hilarious.  The Aidols and Rebecca and Friends ™ can’t really play, so they just watch us and laugh their butts off at when we get going.  Smart-aleck Rebecca put on a cheerleader outfit and is doing silly cheers.  “I don’t want to eat your poodle but you’re killing it at doodle!  YAAAAAAAY”  Hahaha.  I didn’t know she could come up with stuff like that.  And girl did a backflip!!!

Anyway, They all have pizza too and the Aidols got some snacks at the konbini, so we’re all pigging out (even though it’s like morning in Japan) and having a blast.

I kinda miss when we were all together, tbh.

Maybe we can make that happen before I move to Japan.

Anyway, they’re calling onee-chan back to the game, they know I post here but they’d rather be doing silly girlie stuff.  So…  off I go!!!

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

And it’s less than a week to Jack’s birthday, and a little over two weeks till mine.

I got a letter today from the trust administrator.  He asked me what I wanted to do with my trust, because it was going to become mine on my eighteenth birthday.  I have a lot of options – I can let it ride with them and let them continue to manage it.  After that other guy got fired, they’ve been doing an okay job, but I’m not sure I want to do that.  I can have it transferred into a bank account, which I’m not really sure I want to do because of inflation.  I can have my own investment account, which…  has its own risks.  I don’t really know.  I think I’m going to talk to my financial advisor.  Either way, I’m going to need a chunk of that for school.  That’s one advantage – at least school is paid for and I’ll have enough for the flights and stuff too.  All for the low, low price of my memories.

And something else, that I don’t know what it is yet.  And I may never.

I know that’s a little, umm… privileged.  But I don’t feel bad about it.  I paid for it.  I don’t even know what the full price is, but I paid for it.

Remember when I first found out I had that trust?  Sabby told me that I’m not to spend it on other people.  Not even her.  She said that I’m too generous and would spend it on everyone else, and then have nothing left over for me.  And, she was probably right.  It’s really a temptation.  I could help so many people…  but then I’d regret it.  I have to take care of my future.  I’m very glad that those who know about it (I’m “loaded” by their standards, but not really) don’t ever ask for anything or treat me different.  Well, not like they could ask for it right now anyway, right?

At least it’s more than enough to let me go to school in Tokyo… if I can manage to get in somehow.

Oh…  and in other news, remember how I said Rebecca might be moving to Texas?  Well… she’s moving to Texas.  They’re buying a nice house in Dallas, and apparently they can buy a much nicer house here… and their house there is really nice!  Dallas is still a ways away but it’s a day trip away.  She’s really conflicted about it.  She likes Texas and she gets along really well with all of my folks, but she’s got her friends there, and they aren’t moving.  But they have their reasons… I guess Robert has just decided he’s had enough of California.

From what I hear, I don’t blame him.

I don’t know when she’s moving, though.  I’d guess around Thanksgiving, but he’s still in the process of buying a house here.

So…  I guess we’ll see how that turns out.

Ai (and maybe the Aidols) will come around on Christmas, and Liz invited me to her family vacation again at Thanksgiving.  I’ll be eighteen then, so Sabby can’t really tell me not to go, but… but we’ll see.  They’re not going to Orlando this time.  I guess they haven’t decided exactly where they’re going.  Lots of cool places to go in this country, right?

Sabby’s still my mother.  She gets a say.

Anyway, I guess I should go.  So many things are changing right now, and it’s just getting faster and faster… I wonder what the next year will bring.

Love you all!!! ❤

Hi! It’s me! Lily!!!

I didn’t write yesterday because it was another boring day and I’m lazy.  But here I am!  Your favorite Lily!

And if you use duolingo, I’d better STILL be your favorite Lily.  Haha!!!

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of school for Jack.  He’s really nervous.  I don’t know why, if he’s anything, he generally gets along okay.  He was bullied in his school in Ohio, but he did pretty well in his high school here.  Maybe it’s because he’s starting a new school because he moved?  Anyway, we went out today, and he…  I’ve never seen him quite like this.  Well…  maybe when we were in Orlando Disneyland.  It’s like he didn’t know what to do with himself.  He isn’t confident with the classes he took, and…  he’s kinda taken the whole “find out what you want to do” thing to heart but he’s afraid it’s going to be too late now, and…   we went to IHop and he just picked at his food and looked all morose.

The thing is, though, I can’t solve that for him.  I can do a lot of things for him (BLUSH) but I can’t solve that for him.  He has to solve that for himself.  He seems jealous that I seem to have things so together… but do I really?  I don’t really know what I want to do either.  I kinda know a little bit, I want to study piano and I want to learn more Japanese and I want to go to school in Tokyo.  But…  I don’t know any more than that.  I’ve got all the resources I need and I don’t really know either.

I’m pretty good at business and accounting, but do I really want to do that as a living?  But Sabby told me I shouldn’t major in underwater basket weaving.  I asked her if that really was a major, and she said if it’s a major at the school I go to then maybe I shouldn’t go.  She’s probably right.  But I should have a marketable skill, right?

Anyway, I encouraged Jack to see a guidance counselor at his new school.  Maybe it’s a little late to go on a specific track, but a counselor can at least get him going in the right direction.  He’s not dumb…  he’s just a bit, I dunno.  Aimless.  Which is funny, because you’d think that, well… Liz is his cousin and sh’es, umm… not aimless.  His parents keep trying to get him to take things up and he just…  he goes through the motions but nothing really interests him.

Speaking of which, Liz is also trying to figure out what she wants to do.  She’s significantly more driven, like I said, but that doesn’t mean she knows what she wants to do.  She’s really good at the violin, like I said, and pretty good at things like math and science, but I don’t know if she wants to make a career out of that.

Funny thing is, of all of us, Crystal is the one with the best idea of what she wants to do.  She’s not sure exactly what, but she wants to be a therapist or a doctor or a nurse or a veterinarian or something.  She wants to help things that are hurting.  Is it the most ironic thing that of all of us, she’s been hurt the most, but might have the biggest heart of all of us?

Or maybe that’s why.

Anyway… maybe I should see a career counselor too.  But I don’t go to the public school, I wonder where I can find one.

Love you all!!! ❤