Category: Diary

This diary entry is part 2 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi!  It’s me again!  I’m Lily!

I just got back from a run with Liz.  Running is not my favorite thing in the world, but my foster parents think it will be good for me, and I do feel better after.  And it’s fun to run with Liz.

Liz is Chinese.  That’s not her given name.  I’ve tried to pronounce it a couple of times and gave up, and she likes to be called Liz anyway.  She has long, black hair, is shorter than me, and has a very pretty face.  I think she is prettier than me.  My hair is not as long as hers, and my face is too round.  But she thinks I am prettier than she is, so maybe we both are hard on ourselves?  I could have long hair, but I keep it short because long hair is harder to keep pretty.  Boys seem to look at both of us, so maybe they think we are prettier than we do.  Or, maybe they’re just boys and think almost anything is pretty.  I don’t understand boys.  But they don’t understand us either.

My foster parents are not strict like Liz’s parents are.  Her parents are always sending her to classes and school to make sure she gets good grades.  She loves her parents and they love her, but it seems hard for her sometimes.  I hate to see her cry.

My foster parents only have a few rules for me.  I can’t be out past ten PM without their permission, which is fine with me.  I have to eat what they put on the table and eat dinner with them, which is also fine with me.  I’m grateful to have food, and Sabby is a pretty good cook.  And I have to go to church on Sundays. I don’t mind this either.  All they ask is that I go.  I can read a book or listen to music on my headphones or do whatever I want as long as it’s not disruptive.  I don’t understand most of what they teach anyway.  God is confusing to me.  They tell me He loves me, and I am well taken care of, but I lost my memory.  How can He love me if I’ve lost everything that makes me who I am?  And I have to keep my room clean and do a few chores.  Other than that, as long as I keep busy and find something useful to do, they let me do what I want.  Today I’m going to go to a museum with Liz and we will eat after.  It sounds so much fun!

I have to shower now.  Running makes me smelly.  Love you all!!!  ❤️

This diary entry is part 1 of 11 in Lily's diary dated 01 - July 2021

Hi!  It’s me!  Lily!

I’m new to blogging.  I don’t know what I’m doing, or what to write.  One of my friends set this up for me, and my doctors tell me that writing might help me to remember, so here I am!  I don’t know what to say, but Sabby (my foster mother) thought I should start by telling my story.  So, here goes.

My story starts a year ago.  The first thing I remember was walking down the side of a road.  I remember my clothing was ragged and stained, and I wasn’t feeling great.  That’s all I remember.  I didn’t know my name, where I lived, anything.  It was so scary.  I did remember how to talk, and all that important stuff, but nothing else.

A police car stopped.  They asked me for ID, but I didn’t have any, and I didn’t know who I was.  Finally they took me to the hospital.  I was fine physically, but they couldn’t just toss me out.  There were no records of me.  No one knew who I was, and I didn’t know where I was, and obviously, didn’t know anyone.

They called a family from a local church that the doctor was friends with, and I went home with them.  There was Dave, the father, Sabby, the mother, and a couple of children a little younger than me.

I had such a hard time adjusting.  The children hated me, even though the parents tried their hardest to help as much as they could.  They gave me a nice room, with a soft bed, and I will always be so grateful to them for that!  But I was still so sad.  I stayed in my room for a week, only coming out for meeting with the social workers, to eat, and to shower, and I think I cried through it all.  I had lost the most precious thing that I could possibly lose.  Myself.  They got some spare clothing from people in their church, and while it fit me, it wasn’t mine, and that made me cry even harder.

But I couldn’t cry forever, and soon they took me shopping for clothing.  They bought so many things for me!  There were dresses, and tops, and jeans, and even underwear!  Maybe not the absolute prettiest clothes, but they were nice and I liked them!  I asked Sabby why they did all those things for me.  She told me that I needed it, and they could, and do they need another reason?  I hugged her so tightly, I think her ribs are still bruised.

Soon I had to go to school.  I didn’t want to go, as I didn’t know anyone.  I didn’t even know myself.  But they told me that it was important for a girl my age to go to school and be with other children my age, especially with my lack of memory.  So I went to school, even though it was mostly online because of that virus that’s going around.  It was so overwhelming at first!  But soon I met Liz, who became my best friend.  I was a novelty at first, the girl with no memory, but most of them actually accepted me!  Yay me!  Liz and I do everything together, and I don’t know what I would do without her!  I think I love sports and I want to try out for them, but I have to wait until sports come back after summer break.

That’s my story.  I still have no more memory of who I am than I did on that day.  It hasn’t been easy.  But I met my family (even the children grew to tolerate me!), I met my friends, I have a place to sleep, food to eat, and clothing to wear, and I even got to choose my own name!

Now I am on summer break.  My family won’t let me be lazy and sleep all the time (and I love to sleep!) so I have to do something useful with my time.  Is this something useful?  I think so.  But Sabby tells me I need to keep busy.  She is going to take me and Liz to get our hair and nails done later today (my state is pretty much entirely reopened, thankfully).  She thinks girl time is important.  I really love her, did I say that before?  I do!  I love her, and Dave, and everyone else!  And I love getting my hair done!  So I will write again soon.  Love all of you!   ❤️